Carola Dibbell - The Only Ones

They gave me a shot.

There was a problem with some of the tubing. Rini had arrived but couldn’t stand the suspense and while Lucas got a replacement, she went off to Goshen. She would come back to witness the implantation. Man! She had her own hybrocar!

Ok, the new tubing worked. They called Rini in Goshen.

The Port Jervis OBGYN and Lucas are already in the tank room with Rauden when she gets there, looking very pale. Henry was called to Albany sudden on a job, so it is just those three. She went up to the window with those great big steps she takes, and Rauden showed her the viables through the window, in dishes. He wore a bubble suit. So did Lucas. The OBGYN wore a green suit and mask. Rini nodded at all of them, then extra to Rauden, and he starts.

She already picked the names out. She made Rauden write them on the tank.

Ani, Berthe, Chi-Chi, Lily, and Madhur.

Rini sat on the sofa with me.

The first part will take a few hours. They will squeeze the viables down tubes, till they get to the tank. One viable to each section. They got no idea how long the next part will take. We’ll only know when the wire lights up. If it does. Each section got a special wire that Henry dreamed up. It isn’t regular, but who’s going to say no to that? The regular way, you got to wait she changed her mindPs,s g a long time to find out if the nesting worked.

Lily died right away. Rauden thawed a new viable and squeezed it down a new tube but she died too. So it is a problem with the section. They left it empty. I was really worried that Rini will be mad with grief but she was ok.

Ani, Berthe, Chi-Chi, Madhur.

She even was ok when they had to replace Chi-Chi. They called the replacement Chi-Chi. Rini took my hand.

Janet Delize put sandwiches on the card table. The OBGYN came out for a break and ate one. Rini ate nothing.

I had to eat my sandwich with the hand she didn’t hold. I took a nap with her holding it.

Berthe lit up first.

Rauden said that’s when he knew it’s going to work. Janet says it is bad luck to say that, but what did she know? What did any of us know? We never did anything like this, none of us, even Rauden. Even Lucas, when it comes down to it. We don’t even know when Ani and Madhur stuck, like, one minute nothing, the next, they stuck. They lit up.

Now everyone is getting excited. Will it work with Chi-Chi? We’re not supposed to shout. When Chi-Chi lit up though, we did, even me.

Everyone really liked Chi-Chi!

Four lights showed in four sections of the tank. “They all goddamn worked!” said Rauden.

Except Lily.

Ani was mine. Rini was ok with just three. I could still have one, she says. Unless one of the others die. Then Ani will be hers.

We weren’t supposed to go into the room for five days, then Rini was allowed to pay a visit. I wasn’t supposed to go into the tank room at all because I might bond, but I went in with Rini because someone had to.

They made us wear masks, in case we give the viables something even though the tank was airtight and come on, these are Sylvain hardies even if you couldn’t see them. It was hard to see anything. It was nice in the tank room though. It was so dark and warm.

Rini seemed happy when she came out, but she was nervous still. Rauden was nervous too. He kept working but his hands shook. Lucas and Janet Delize was all right. I was all right too. I was excited.

You know how I been saying, it’s interesting? Horses, meat-loaf, cows? Nothing since I ever got up here been as interesting as this.

Rauden was so interested he was dropping things. He was so interested, Henry had to come back from Albany to help. The Port Jervis OBGYN already left. Henry was around a lot.

We all sat in a row in the rec room, watching the monitor. We drank coffee and Beverages. Donuts, chips.

“Like watching the grass grow,” Henry said.

He and Rauden began to giggle.

The suspense was too much for Rini. She went for a drive.

The feeding traffic was arranged like this: They stuck the IV in my arm, with two sites, which ran both ways, out, then in, attached to bags. One bag took my blood, which got things in it to nourish the viables. The other bag brought the used blood back from them.

Rauden said, “The child doesn’t exactly eat the product that comes in. It doesn’t use its mouth. Even when it has one. It takes the product in and turns it into, ahem, itself. Herself. The product is like letters of the alphabet. She turns them into words. The words say what her body is. Well! Who knows who says what?” Everyone%js,s g tried to ignore Rauden when he talked like this. It was interesting though.

The used blood got hung in its bag from my IV and piped back into me. I couldn’t keep giving blood without getting blood back. I had to stay alive too, or it wouldn’t work.

Well, we been doing this for three weeks now, and I am.

Ani, Berthe, Chi-Chi, and Madhur too.

It’s November. There is early snow. I am allowed to go upstairs and look. Henry made a loop of my heartbeat for while I’m gone. Janet thought anybody’s heartbeat would work, but Rauden didn’t want to take the chance.

When I got back downstairs, I conked out on the sofa. I was so tired.

Five weeks in.

“I! Come and see!” The viables got tails. Rini is at the monitor. She says they look cute. Henry said they looked like shrimp. I never saw a shrimp, but who cares? Just let me lie down.

“It’s the hormones, bro. How bad she feels is a good sign.” Rauden worries I am going into shock.

“It’s regular!”

Rauden would like to filter the blood coming back to me, but that would mess with the hormones. The hormones is a message the viables send to me, like, “I! Conk out. Breast! Hurt very bad.” It worked.

“Don’t worry, bro,” Henry pats Rauden’s hand. “She’ll stay alive.”

So far, so good.

Rini had a business emergency and went back to Toronto. Henry rigged up a special vidPhone in the rec room so she can call night or day.

It’s December.

We got an emergency too — an unknown van sets off the old system alarm near the gate! It’s an Inspector! Rauden says everyone be quiet as a goddamn mouse. Shuts the rec room door tight and went out to deal with things. Janet got scared. Henry got silly. He wheels right up to the window and is whispering to the tank, “Chi-Chi! I heard that. You are so grounded.” Everyone got the giggles, even Janet, but after that she was spooked and did not want me to leave the basement at all, in case somebody sees me and asks questions. She wants me to stay downstairs the whole rest of the time, so no one will know. She even wants to lock the basement door.

“For God’s sake!” Rauden says. “You can’t lock a person in a basement for nine months.”

Henry said, “Afraid she’ll get sick, bro?”

That got a good laugh.

It snowed again.

Rauden sent Lucas off. He was getting on everybody’s nerves, how much staring he been doing. Stares at me then at the viables’ picture on the monitor. Then me. Then viables. Then into space.

When he’s gone, Janet starts doing it!

“Oh, not you too, Janet!” Rauden goes. “Janet, they are as different from her as I am from Henry. If they’re her, I’m Henry. Yes! We have things in common — there is a certain predisposition. But that’s all it goddamn is.”

She kept doing it though.

“What do you think, I?” Henry asked. “Are they you?”

Henry called me I. Lucas did too. Rini called me Inez. Janet did not call me anything, most of the time.

I just said whatever. I don’t even know what the big deal is, who is who? T I got the idea ot knows whonhey could be me if they want. Why would they want?

Rauden could sleep on the other sofa now Rini’s not using it, but he does not seem to sleep. I would see Henry sometimes sleeping in his wheelchair. Rini woke us all up, anyhow, calling at all hours, are they still alive?