Koushun Takami - Battle Royale

“Now listen.” He lay on the messy path ridden now with puddles as he said painfully, somehow fixing his eyes on Kayoko, “You have to burn some fresh wood. Build… two fires. I have a lighter in my pocket. Use that, then you’ll hear a bird call.”

Kayoko heard him, but she had no idea what he was talking about. She had no idea what was going on.

Hiroki continued. “Follow that bird call. Then you’ll find Shuya Nanahara… Noriko Nakagawa, and Shogo Kawada. They’ll help you. You got that?”

“W-what?”

Hiroki seemed to be smiling. He repeated patiently, “Build two fires. Then find the bird call.”

He awkwardly moved his right arm, pulled out a small lighter from his school coat pocket, and tossed it over to Kayoko. Then he painfully closed his eyes.

“Okay, now go.”

“What?”

Hiroki suddenly opened his eyes wide and yelled, “Go now! Someone might have heard the shot. Go!”

Then as if fitting the pieces of a complex jigsaw puzzle into place, Kayoko finally managed to get it. This time she got it right.

“Oh… oh…”

She dropped the gun and fell on her knees beside him. She scraped her knees but she didn’t care.

“Hiroki! Hiroki! I-I can’t believe… I can’t believe I did this to you!”

She burst into tears. Sure, there was something intimidating about Hiroki Sugimura. He seemed tough since he studied martial arts, plus he didn’t talk much, and when he did he was always gruff. When he spoke to other boys, like Shinji Mimura and Shuya Nanahara, he would smile but otherwise he looked grumpy. She also heard he was going out with Takako Chigusa, and they looked so close. Kayoko only thought, I don’t get Takako’s taste, I wonder maybe if you’re that pretty, you’re attracted to someone intimidating. That was her impression of him. So in this situation where her classmates were being killed off one by one she was absolutely terrified of Hiroki Sugimura. But then it turned out…

He closed his eyes again and said, “It’s all right.” He was smiling. He looked content. “I was going to die soon anyway.”

Kayoko then finally noticed he had another wound on his side, soaked in liquid that wasn’t rain.

“So go now. Please.”

Kayoko sobbed convulsively and touched his neck gently. “Let’s go together. Okay? Stand.”

Hiroki opened his eyes and looked at her. He seemed to be smiling. “Forget about me,” he said. “I’m just glad I got to see you.”

“What?” Kayoko opened her tear-stained eyes wide. What? What did you just say? “W-what do you mean…” Her voice was trembling.

Hiroki exhaled deeply, as if to bear the pain, or maybe it was a long sigh. “If I tell you, will you go?”

“What? I don’t get it. What do you mean?”

Hiroki said without hesitating, “I love you, Kotohiki. I’ve loved you for a real long time.”

Kayoko once again didn’t understand Hiroki. What’s he talking about?

Hiroki continued. He was looking up at the sky raining down on them. “That’s all I wanted to tell you. Now… go.”

“But I thought you and Takako—”

Hiroki looked into her eyes again. He said, “You’re the one.”

She finally got it. She was blown away as if struck by a huge wrecking ball swinging from a demolition crane.

Love, me? You wanted to tell me… don’t tell me you were trying to find me? Is that true? If so… then what did I just do?

Her breath was raspy. She kept on getting choked up, but finally she managed to cry out, “Hiroki! Hiroki!”

“Hurry,” Hiroki said and coughed out a mist of blood, spraying Kayoko’s face. Hiroki opened his eyes again.

“Hiroki… I… I… I…”

Her body was supposedly dehydrated from lack of water, but the tears kept on gushing out.

“It’s all right,” Hiroki said kindly. He closed his eyes slowly. “Kayoko—” he called her by her first name as if it were a precious treasure. It was probably the first time he had ever called her by her first name. “I don’t mind at all… dying because of you. So please, please go. Or else…”

Kayoko kept on crying, waiting for Hiroki to continue. Or else?

Hiroki didn’t say anything. Kayoko slowly reached out for him. She held his shoulders and shook them. “Hiroki!

In a TV drama when someone died their words would be cut off, like, “Or el—” but Hiroki managed to say in a painful but clear voice, “Or else.” So there had to be more. Or else…

“Hiroki! Hey, Hiroki!”

Kayoko shook his body one more time. Then she finally realized he was dead.

Once she realized this, the dam restraining her torrent of emotions suddenly collapsed. A shriek was welling up inside.

“AHHH!” On her knees, Kayoko fell over Hiroki’s body and cried.

He loved me… he loved me so much he sought me out at the risk of being attacked. Any encounter could have led to an attack on him. In fact, the wound in his side, the wound on his shoulder… came as a result of him trying to find me.

No, there’s more. Kayoko stopped sobbing for a moment.

I was the one who attacked Hiroki. At the very end, when Hiroki managed to achieve his goal.

Kayoko shut her eyes and cried again.

He loved me… just like I wanted to tell that guy how I felt about him, Hiroki was thinking the same thing about me, looking for me. Someone in my class cared for me that much. And yet, and yet…

Suddenly, Kayoko recalled a scene. It was when they were doing their cleaning tasks. Kayoko was wiping the blackboard with a wet rag and when she couldn’t reach the top, Hiroki, who had been slacking off, rested his chin against his hands that were holding the upright broom as if it were a cane, and said, “You’re too short, Kotohiki.” He took the rag from her and wiped the area she couldn’t reach.

The scene came back to her.

Why didn’t I see how kind he was? How could I not notice how someone loved me so much? If I’d thought about it, I would have realized if Hiroki wanted to kill me he could have immediately shot me with his gun. But I couldn’t tell. I wasn’t able to understand. I am so stupid. I—

Another memory came flashing by.

When she was telling some of her classmate friends about “that guy,” Hiroki, who was nearby looking out the window, muttered, “You’re being foolish, getting so worked up like that.” It made her mad at the time, but in fact he was right, she was being foolish. And yet… and yet Hiroki told her he’d cherished this fool.

She simply couldn’t stop crying. She pressed her cheek against his warm cheek and continued to sob. Hiroki told her to go, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that. I’m going to keep on crying, I’m going to cry over the dedication (it was irreplaceable) of this boy who loved me and my foolishness (I was such a kid thinking I was actually in the running for “that guy”), I’m going to keep on crying. Even if it was suicidal in this game.

You plan on dying with him? A voice whispered to her in her thoughts.

Yes, I’m going to die with him. I’m going to die for the sake of Hiroki’s love for me and my foolishness.

“Then why don’t you go ahead?” the voice said.

Kayoko suddenly trembled and turned around. She saw the long, beautiful, rain-drenched hair of Mitsuko Souma (Female Student No. 11), gazing down at her, gun in hand.

BAM BAM, two dry pops formed two holes in Kayoko’s right temple. Kayoko’s body then landed on Hiroki Sugimura’s body.

Blood slowly began flowing out of the holes in her head. The blood continued flowing down her face against the rain washing it away.

Mitsuko lowered the Smith & Wesson M19 .357 Magnum and said, “You really were a fool. You should have understood him.”