Koushun Takami - Battle Royale

He seemed to understand what she was getting at and broke into a smile. Then he said, “I appreciate your concern. It’s all right though.” Her concern was suddenly eclipsed by the thrill she felt in having her first real conversation with him.

“B-but that government official looked so mean. What if—”

He stopped Kayoko and said something sophisticated, as if admonishing her. “That official doesn’t necessarily get a kick out of doing what he does. I’m sure this kind of thing happens all over the world. But the way this country is, it twists people. We’re supposed to strive for harmony and that’s what the art of tea is supposed to accomplish… but it is very, very difficult to achieve in this country.” Near the end, he almost seemed to be addressing himself. Then he looked back at Kayoko and continued, “Tea ceremony is powerless. But it’s also not such a bad thing either. You should enjoy it while you can.” He smiled kindly, turned, and proceeded to walk away.

Kayoko was in a daze and stood still for a while. The unpretentious way he talked made her feel at ease… and even though she didn’t completely understand what he was saying, it impressed her, and she thought, wow, he’s so mature .

In any case, she might have made an impression on him because ever since that encounter he would always give her a warm smile whenever they met.

The second crucial encounter occurred during the winter of her second year. Kayoko came out into the old temple garden of another tea ceremony and gazed at the camellia flowers there. (In fact, she was thinking about him again.) Suddenly she heard suddenly someone from behind say, “They’re beautiful,” in a transparent voice now familiar to her. At first she thought she’d imagined it, but when she turned around she couldn’t believe he was there—and smiling at her. It was the first time he addressed her without any reference to teaching tea ceremony or official duties.

And so they had a conversation.

“So you find tea ceremony interesting?”

“Yes, I love it. But I’m not very good.”

“Really? I’ve been impressed with your excellent posture during your preparation. It’s not just that your back is upright. There’s a kind of intensity.”

“Oh, no, I’m really no good at all….”

With his hands tucked inside his sleeves, he still wore his kind smile and glanced up at the camellia. “No, I really do mean it. Yes, just like those flowers. There’s something strained, but there’s beauty in that. Something like that.”

Of course, she was still just a child, and he might have only been complimenting a hobbyist dabbling in the school’s tea ceremony. But that didn’t stop her from getting excited. Right on! (She snapped her fingers only later in the bathroom.)

From that point on Kayoko began to practice tea ceremony more seriously. She thought, I can do it. Of course, I’m still just a kid, but once I’m eighteen he’ll be twenty-four. That would totally work….

And so that was her memory of him.

Kayoko buried her face into her skirt. A warm liquid which wasn’t rain oozed into the area covering her kneecaps. Kayoko realized she was crying. Her hand holding the gun trembled. How could all this be happening?

She wanted so badly to see him now. Sure, she was still a kid. But in her own adolescent way, she really did love him. This was the first time she ever had serious feelings for someone. She wanted a single moment with him so she could tell him this much. She wanted to tell this person—kind enough to describe her as “beautiful” even if it was only referring to her tea ceremony skills—“I’m still a kid, so I may not understand what it really means to be in love. But I think I am in love with you. I really love you.” Something like that.

Something rustled in the bushes. Kayoko looked up. She wiped her eyes with her left hand and got up. Her feet moved automatically and took a step back from the source of the sound.

A boy in a school coat—Hiroki Sugimura (Male Student No. 11). His face and torso emerged from the bushes. The sleeves of his coat and shirt were torn off, revealing his right arm. The white cloth wrapped around his shoulder was stained with blood and—perhaps it was because of the rain—it oozed pink. And his hand was holding a gun.

Hiroki’s jaw dropped, but what really caught her attention when she saw his grimy face were his eyes. They were gleaming.

Kayoko felt a sudden surge of fear. How could she have not noticed sooner before he got this close. How—

“Kotohiki—”

Kayoko let out a shriek and turned on her heels. She entered the bushes. She didn’t care about the branches scraping against her face and hair, or getting drenched in the rain. She just wanted to escape. He’ll kill me!

She made her way through the bushes. There was a twisting path approximately two meters wide. Kayoko instinctively decided to run down there. If she ran uphill, he would catch up, but if she ran down then maybe…

She heard a rustling sound behind her. “Kotohiki!” It was Hiroki’s voice. He’s coming after me!

Kayoko summoned all her strength from her tired body and ran as fast as she could. I can’t believe this, I should have been jogging instead of learning tea ceremony if I’d known this was going to happen.

“Kotohiki! Stop! Kotohiki!”

If she had been calmer—that is, if this were a scene in a movie and she were in the theater watching the actor performing as she munched on some popcorn—then it would have been obvious he was pleading with her. But right now it sounded like he was saying: “Kotohiki! You better stop! I’m gonna kill you!”

She wasn’t going to stop. The path forked. She took the left one.

The area opened up on her left. Rows of tangerine trees spread out in the dull light coming through the silky rain. Beyond them was a thicket of short trees. If she could enter that area—but no, it’s impossible, she thought. She had at least fifty more meters to get there. It was hopeless. While she struggled through the uneven rows of tangerine trees, Hiroki Sugimura would catch up to her and shoot her from behind with his gun.

Kayoko clenched her teeth. She didn’t want to, but she had to. After all, he was trying to kill her.

She stopped on her right foot and spun around to her left.

By the time she had turned around the gun was in her hands. That thing called the safety had been released ever since she’d read the manual. The manual said you didn’t have to raise the hammer, all you had to do was pull the trigger. The rest was up to her.

Less than ten meters away, Hiroki Sugimura stood still on the slope, his eyes wide open.

It’s too late. You think I won’t shoot?

Kayoko extended her arms and squeezed the trigger. With a pop, a small flame exploded from the muzzle, and her arms jerked back from the recoil.

Hiroki’s large frame spun around as if he were hit. He fell back.

Kayoko ran over to him. She had to finish him off, finish him off! So he wouldn’t get back up again!

Kayoko stopped approximately two meters away from him. There was a small hole in the left side of his chest (she’d actually aimed at his stomach), and the fabric around it had turned dark black. But his sprawled right hand still held his gun. He still might raise it. The head. I have to aim for his head.

Hiroki turned his head around and looked at Kayoko. Kayoko pointed the gun and pulled the trig—

She stopped.

Hiroki had tossed his gun aside. If he’d had that kind of strength he could have pulled the trigger. What was going on?

The gun spun around once and landed on its side.

Huh?

Kayoko stood still, holding the gun, her short hair drenched in the rain.