Джон Макдональд - Wine of the Dreamers [= Planet of the Dreamers]

“Now let us examine what Walter Howard Path has done. He has gathered around himself a very unwholesome little group. Dr. Bard Lane, discredited physicist. Dr. Sharan Inly, sexy psychiatrist. Mr. William Kornal, unpunished technician guilty of criminal sabotage. Dr. Heintz Lurdorff, hypnotist and alleged psychiatrist. Remember that with the possible exception of Lurdorff, the other three have every reason to find some sort of excuse for their previous actions.

“These five persons have cooked up the most fantastic story that ever hit these tired old ears. Long-range hypnosis from another planet! People like us who can come here on thought waves, or something, and make us do whatever they wish! Remind me to use those Martians or whatever they are as an excuse to my wife the next time I stay out too late. Now see how neatly it all fits. This is a wonderful country, listeners. No matter how crazy your story is, you can find somebody to believe you.

“Let us check and see the possible results, if Walter Howard Path is permitted to use the power of the press, radio and video to spread this new yarn of his. Dr. Bard Lane will, in the minds of fools, be acquitted of mismanagement, negligence and preoccupation with pretty Sharan instead of his job. Sharan Inly will become the high priestess of the new cult, and probably do very well indeed, financially. Dr. Heintz Lurdorff will get some publicity to trade on. William Kornal will be able to say, ‘See? I didn’t do it. Them Martians did it.’

“And how about Walter Howard Path? Priceless publicity on a story none of the rest of us would touch. Here is his master touch, though. He says that two of the alien people who grab us and make us do tricks are coming here in person, on a space ship, for goodness sake! A couple. Brother and sister. Raul and Leesa Kinson. Your Wilkins’ Mead reporter wonders how long it took our Mr. Path to think up those names. Ever play anagrams? Take that name. Leesa Kinson. Use the letters in it. You can make two words. ‘No sense.’ With four letters left over, a-l-k-i, a practically prehistoric slang word for alcohol. How long is Walter Howard Path going to feed us delusions out of the bottom of a bottle? How brazen can his hoaxes become?

“Your Wilkins’ Mead reporter leaves you with this one thought. How can a responsible video network or a responsible publisher give house room to an irresponsible man like Walter Howard Path and still claim to function in the public interest?”

“From the wires of the Associated Press. Yesterday morning one person was killed and three injured in a riot at Benson, Georgia. The clash was between the new cult which spends hours on hilltops watching for Walter Howard Path’s mythical spaceships, and a detachment of the Georgia State Police. The new cult calls itself Kinsonians.”

Excerpt from an address given at the annual dinner of the American Medical Association: “It is not altogether strange that the mass hallucination of the late nineteen forties involving ‘flying saucers’ should now be duplicated by a similar mass hallucination involving ‘space ships.’ Even the most cursory study of the history of mass hysteria shows clearly a cyclical pattern, with the outbreaks averaging twenty to forty years between peaks of intensity. At the latest count the ‘space ship’ which we are to play host to, according to the Kinsonians, has been reported landing at twenty-six different places. It is no accident that the locations of the ‘landings’ correlate most amusingly with the activity of the Kinsonian groups in those places.”

1. As there is no desire to give special attention to unfounded charges regarding Project Tempo through any formal statement in rebuttal, all personnel are directed to refrain from commenting to representatives of the press.

2. All military personnel directly connected with Project Tempo have been given changes of station to take them immediately outside the continental limits of the United States to new posts where the possibility of such interviews is lessened.

3. Official position on this matter, to be announced later, is that in the light of current world tension it is of dubious value to the national effort that mass hysteria should be whipped to such a peak that industrial absenteeism is at an unprecedented rate.

4. All officers and EM who profess publicly any degree of belief in Kinsonianism and, when warned, shall persist in such belief, will be considered unfit for duty.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen of the vidio audience, we bring you that lint-headed wonder of the stratosphere, that little man who didn’t arrive in a space ship, that Yum-Bubble (Chew it, it’s good for you) comic, Willy Wise! Hey, Willy! What’s the matter, Willy? The cameras are over here, not up there on the ceiling.”

“Don’t bother me, Harry. I’m watching for that space ship. You want to make a million bucks, Harry?”

“That’s the difference between you and me, Willy. I need a million bucks.”

“Get another laugh and you’ll need a job. Know what we ought to do? Put out some gunk to rub on your neck. I bet there are more cricks in more necks in this country than there are neckties.”

“Willy, please look at the cameras. You’ve got a guest tonight. It’s a she.”

“Somebody else can watch for that ship. Hello, honey. What’s your name?”

“Sharan Riley, Mr. Wise.”

“Nice name, Sharan. I played Sharon, Pennsylvania, once. I killed ’em in Sharon. You got an aunt or a half sister or something named Sharan Inly?”

“Gee, no. She’s famous.”

“Say, I just got a theory, folks. How about this? You ever see a good picture of that Sharan Inly? Here’s how it all happened. She meets up with that Lane guy, see. She likes him. She wraps those lovely arms around his neck and... Bingo! Ever since that moment, folks, Dr. Lane has been seeing space ships, Martians and little green men. Who can blame the guy? Up until that point he probably never had his nose out of a Bunsen burner, or whatever they use in those labs.”

“Today in Albany, at the request of Governor LePage, a bill was rushed through the state legislature making it illegal for anyone to make public speeches in favor of Kinsonianism. Critics claim that the bill is an infringement of the right of free speech. The governor defended his action on the grounds that the State of New York is suffering a curtailment of the supply of food, power and other necessary items, arising from the absenteeism of the Kinsonians. The governor claims that the Kinsonians seem to feel that the arrival of the alien space ship will somehow be synonymous with the end of the world. Other states will await, with interest, the decision of the courts on the legality of the new measure.”

The Sunday dusk slowly darkened the street. Bard Lane turned from the window. The one suite had grown to two connecting suites. Bess Reilly had been found, and it did not take much encouragement to bring her back to work for Dr. Lane.

The phone on her desk rang constantly. Sharan and Lurdorff, using the octagonal cards, played quad-bridge on a lamp table. Kornal lay on the couch, his fingers laced over his stomach, peacefully asleep.

“What’s the matter with them?” Bard demanded. “They stand down there in the street and just stare up at the windows!”

Heintz Lurdorff grinned. “You must aggustom yourself to being the high briest of what is bractically a new religion.”

“It makes me nervous,” Bard said. “And those phone calls make me nervous. That woman who called up this afternoon and called me the Anti-Christ. What was she talking about?”

“You are either the most honored or most detested man in America, Bard,” Sharan said. “I’ll bid eleven spades, Heintz.”