Russell Moran - A Climate of Doubt

“Mr. Bartholomew Martin is here for his appointment with you, Minister Rashadi.”

“So, we’re about to squeeze the trigger, Ramin. This will be the most important meeting you and I have ever held.”

“Have a seat, Mr. Martin,” Rashadi said.

“Please honor me by calling me Bartholomew.”

“I shall call you Mr. Martin. I call friends by their first names, and I’m not certain you fit into that category. Let me get right to the point. I have irrefutable evidence that you and your organization are not only involved with our weather system but have direct control over it through the Rosetta Corporation in America.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Deputy Minister. My organization, the Reformers, have taken you up on your hospitality so that we are free from interference by our mutual enemy, the United States. We are impacted by this strange weather just as everyone else.”

“Mr. Martin, because you are American by birth, let me use a word that I’m sure you’re familiar with—bullshit. You have imbedded two of your people as astronauts on the space station Moonwalker, taking directions from your insider at the Rosetta Corporation. We are aware that you have manipulated the Rosetta satellites and are controlling the weather. I had considered giving you an ultimatum, but instead I shall give you a command—order the satellite configuration to be reversed and return the earth to normal weather. I give you this command with the full cooperation of the United States government. If you do not take this action, we shall destroy your entire compound in Iran. If necessary we will use one of our nuclear bombs, without fear because you are in a desolate area of the countryside. You will act on my command immediately , using the telephone in front of you. Your cooperation is critical because the astronauts on the space station answer only to you. You are to speak to a Mr. Philip Duncan, Rosetta’s president, and convey my command to him. Here is the phone, sir.”

“But Mr. Deputy Foreign Minister…”

“The word ‘but’ has no place in this conversation, Mr. Martin. I did not give you a request or a suggestion, I gave you a simple command. Carry out the command or you will be placed under arrest and I shall order an immediate attack on your compound. Again, here is the phone.”

“Philip, this is Bartholomew (speaking to Bob Colombo). I want you to do a satellite test run and reverse the solar panels to return the weather to normal.”

“The last time I spoke to the astronauts they told me that they take orders from you and you only,” Duncan/Colombo said. “If necessary, I will place you in communication with Moonwalker and you can give the command to follow my orders. Astronauts Cranston and Mullin are here with me and can walk the men on Moonwalker through the steps.”

“Do it now , Mr. Martin,” Rashadi said.

“ Moonwalker, Moonwalker , this is Home Base, come in.”

“Read you, Home Base. This is astronaut David Hardy. Is this Mr. Duncan?”

“Yes, it is,” Duncan/Colombo said. “We’re going to reverse the position of the satellites by rotating the solar panels and return the weather to normal. Any questions?”

“Mr. Duncan, the last time we spoke I told you that we only take orders from one man and it’s not you.”

“You have been taking orders from Bartholomew Martin. I will now patch you into him and let him give you the direct order.”

“But but, how do I know it’s Bartholomew Martin,” Hardy stammered. “By the way, his name is not for disclosure.”

“This is Bartholomew, David. Do as Mr. Duncan says immediately.”

“Yes, sir, I mean Bartholomew.”

“This is Nancy Mullin.” She almost said Nancy Cranston. “Prepare to start the satellite sequence. Begin with satellite number one now.”

They went through the satellite test and solar panel sequence taking 240 minutes as always. Minister Rashadi looked out the window and noticed that the snow had stopped, and the temperature according to a thermometer outside his window read 65 degrees Fahrenheit, normal for Tehran in September.

“You will now return to the compound that you call Reformation City,” Rashadi said. “You will be brought there in an Iranian government vehicle, and you will be under armed guard. The Reformers are no longer the guests of the government of Iran. You will be under arrest and guarded the entire time it takes you to leave. Your tanks, planes, weapons, and other military impedimenta will become the property of the Iranian government. Good day, Mr. Martin.”

“Agent Atkins is here for his appointment, Mr. President,” his assistant said.

Dee was with the president in the Oval Office.

“Mr. President,” Buster said, “when I told you that Ramin Abbasi was a valuable mole, I was making an understatement. I think we may have a deal with Iran that will be the end of Bartholomew Martin. Abbasi met with his close contact, Deputy Foreign Minister Hamid Rashadi, and told him all about Bartholomew Martin and his weather making. He sold Rashadi on the idea of Iran giving Bartholomew an ultimatum. The two of them then went to see Supreme Leader Khamenei.”

“Let me guess that Khamenei, the maniac, wants us to renew the nuclear weapons accord,” I said.

“That’s why I think Abbasi is such a valuable insider, Mr. President. He and Rashadi managed to convince Khamenei that they need to move against the Reformers. They convinced him that Bartholomew Martin and his people are as much an enemy of Iran as they are of the United States, an even bigger enemy because the freezing weather is destroying the few crops that Iran produces. So, here’s the offer. We immediately remove all sanctions against Iran, agree to purchase 50 billion American dollars’ worth of Iranian bonds, and unfreeze the Iranian assets in the United States. And here’s the best part—a renewal of the nuclear arms deal is off the table. They’re willing to stop their nuclear development, and even agreed to allow inspectors onsite. Deputy Foreign Minister Rashadi can be here tomorrow to sign the agreement. They want to move fast because the freezing weather is killing them.”

“Oh, my God,” Dee said. “This is even more than I hoped for.”

“Okay, let’s make this happen fast,” the President said. “I will personally meet with Rashadi along with Secretary of State Langdon. I want to nail this thing down before Khamenei comes up with some new ideas. Needless to say, I want an absolute, and I mean absolute , press blackout.”

“You know me, Mr. President. The only member of the press I speak to is the paper boy.”

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to a special edition of The Ellen Bellamy Show . With me today is Jerome Langdon, better known as Jerry, our Secretary of State. Mr. Secretary, I understand that you have some historic news to share with us this afternoon.”

“Historic is the perfect word, Ellen. Yesterday afternoon, a treaty was signed in the Oval Office and was immediately confirmed by the senate in a voice vote, an historic first. The treaty hopefully will bring an end to the illicit reign of Bartholomew Martin, the former President of the United States. It’s become a matter of public record recently that Bartholomew Martin and his large gang escaped from their compound in Kurdistan and created a new city in Iran, with permission of the Iranian government. Soon the Iranians learned that Martin and his followers, called the Reformers, were not the kind of guests they wished to entertain on their country’s soil. As we all know, our country along with the rest of the world, has been subject to multiple spells of horrible freezing summer temperatures, along with record-setting blizzards. Iran, a country of moderate weather with temperatures that seldom go below freezing, was plunged into the frigid darkness along with the rest of us. Iran was especially impacted because of its modest farming output that became crippled with the freezing temperatures. Ellen, I’ve watched many of your shows about the weather. You interviewed guest after guest who tried to explain the weather and the climate. Some experts blamed it on climate change, others on shifting weather patterns. One thing that all the experts agreed on was that they really didn’t know what was happening, other than to conclude that it was a natural phenomenon. We’ve recently learned that it wasn’t natural at all, but a sinister manipulation of satellite solar panels that redirected the sun’s rays away from earth and into space, creating winter in summer. None other than Bartholomew Martin, the totalitarian thug who was once our country’s president, was the man behind it. When Tehran learned of Martin’s activities we were all in the middle of one of his blizzards. The Iranians placed Martin under arrest and seized his group’s assets. They are in the process of leaving Iranian soil, but Martin is still under armed custody.”