Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

would be many unpleasant decisions on this venture.

"Give it to Nunzio. Tananda and Chumley will need

it to find us."

"But if we leave it behind, how are we going to find

your partner?"

"We'll have to figure out something, but we can't

afford to divide our forces. Otherwise, even if we get

Aahz, we could still end up wandering around out there

trying to find the other half of the rescue team."

"If you say so. Hot Stuff," she grimaced, handing

over the ring, "but I hope you know what you're

doing."

"So do I, Massha, so do I. Okay, gang, let's see what

our backyard is really like!"

From the outside, our place looked a lot more impres-

sive than the side that showed in the Bazaar. It really did

look like a castle ... a rather ominous one at that,

squatting alone on a hilltop. I really didn't study it too

close, though, beyond being able to recognize it again

for our trip out. As might be expected, my main atten-

tion was focused on the new dimension itself.

"Kinda dark, ain't it."

Guide's comment was more statement than question,

and he was right.

Wherever we were, the lighting left a lot to be desired.

At first I thought it was night, which puzzled me, as so

far in my travels all dimensions seemed to be on the

same sun-up and sun-down schedule. Then my eyes

adjusted to the gloom and I realized the sky was simply

heavily overcast... to a point where next to no light at

all penetrated, giving a night-like illusion to the day.

Aside from that, from what I could see, this new land

seemed pretty much like any of the others I had visited:

Trees, underbrush, and a road leading to or from the

castle, depending on which way you were facing. I think

it was Tananda who was fond of saying "If you've seen

one dimension, you've seen them all." Chumley, her

brother, argued that the reason for the geologic similari-

ties was that all the dimensions we traveled were differ-

ent realities off the same base. This always struck me as

being a bit redundant... "They're all alike because

they're the same? C'mon Chumley!", but his rebuttals

always left me feeling like I'd been listening to someone

doing readings in another language, so of late I've been

tending to avoid the discussions.

"Well, Hot Stuff, what do we do now?"

For a change, I had an answer for this infuriating

question.

"This road has to go somewhere. Just the fact that it

exists indicates we aren't alone in this dimension."

"I thought we already knew that," Guido said under

his breath. "That's why we're here."

I gave him my best dark glare.

"I believe there was some debate as to whether or not

we were being lied to about Aahz being held prisoner. If

there's a road here, it's a cinch that neither my partner

nor the ones he was chasing built it. That means we have

native types to deal with . .. possibly hostile."

"Right," Massha put in quickly. "Put a sock in it,

Guido. I want to hear our plan of action, and I don't

like being kept waiting by hecklers."

The bodyguard frowned, but kept his silence.

36 Robert Asprin

"Okay. Now, what we've got to do is follow this road

and find out where it goes. Hug the side of the road and

be ready to disappear if you hear anybody coming. We

don't know what the locals look like, and until I have a

model to work from, it's pointless for me to try to dis-

guise us."

With those general marching orders, we made our

way through the dark along the road, moving quietly to

avoid tipping our hand to anyone ahead of us. In a short

time we came up to our first decision point. The road we

were on ended abruptly when it met another, much

larger thoroughfare. My assistants looked at me

expectantly. With a shrug I made the arbitrary decision

and led them off to the right down this new course. As

we went, I reflected with some annoyance that even

though both Massha and Guido knew that I was as new

to this terrain as they were, it somehow fell to me to

choose the path.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of voices

ahead, coming our way. The others heard it too, and

without word or signal we melted into the underbrush.

Squatting down, I peered through the gloom toward the

road, anxious to catch my first glimpse of the native life

forms.

I didn't have long to wait. Two figures appeared, a

young couple by the look of them, talking and laughing

merrily as they went. They looked pretty normal to me,

which was a distinct relief, considering the forms I had

had to imitate in some of the other dimensions. They

were humanoid enough to pass for Klahds... or Jahks,

actually, as they were a bit pale. Their dress was not dis-

similar from my own, though a bit more colorful. Ab-

sorbing all this in a glance, I decided to make my first

try for information. I mean, after all my fears, they

were so familiar it was almost a letdown, so why not

MYTH-ING PERSONS 37

bull ahead? Compared with some of the beings I've had

to deal with in the past, this looked like a piece of cake.

Signaling the others to stay put, I stepped out onto

the road behind my target couple.

"Excuse me!" I called "I'm new to this area and in

need of a little assistance. Could you direct me to the

nearest town?"

Translation pendants were standard equipment for

dimension travel, and as I was wearing one now, I had

no fear of not being understood.

The couple turned to face me, and I was immediately

struck by their eyes. The "whites" of their eyes glowed

a dark red, sending chills down my spine. It occurred to

me that I might have studied the locals a bit longer

before I tried to pass myself off as a native. It also

occurred to me that I had already committed myself to

this course of action and would have to bluff my way

through it regardless. Finally, it occurred to me that I

was a suicidal idiot and that I hoped Massha and Guido

were readying their back-up weapons to save me from

my own impatience.

Strangely enough, the couple didn't seem to notice

anything unusual about my appearance.

"The nearest town? That would be Blut. It's not far,

we just came from there. It's got a pretty wild night life,

if you're into that kind of thing."

There was something about his mouth that nagged at

the edges of my mind. Unfortunately, I couldn't look at

it directly without breaking eye contact, so, buoyed by

my apparent acceptance, I pushed ahead with the con-

versation.

"Actually, I'm not too big on night life. I'm trying to

run down an old friend of mine I've lost touch with. Is

there a post office or a police station in Blut I could ask

at?"

38 Robert Asprin

"Better than that," the man laughed. "The one you

want to talk to is the Dispatcher. He keeps tabs on

everybody. The third warehouse on your left as you

enter town. He's converted the whole second floor into

an office. If he can't help you, nobody can."

As vital as the information was, I only paid it partial

attention. When the man laughed, I had gotten a better

look at his mouth. His teeth were....

"Look at his teeth!" the girl gasped, speaking for the

first time.

"My teeth?" I blinked, realizing with a start that she

was staring at me with undisguised astonishment.

Her companion, in the meantime, had paled notice-

ably and was backing away on unsteady legs.