Robert Heinlein - The Number of the Beast

"Of course. Are you'?"

"Gay, go to sleep."

"Roger and out, Boss."

"Deety, I want to make sure of these subprograms but couldn't use code words while she was awake. I-"

"Excuse me, Zebadiah, but you can. She will ignore code words for subprograms except while the general program is running. The code for the general program is unusual and requires the execution command, so it can't be started by accident. You can wake Gay. We need her on some points."

"You're a smart girl, Deety."

"I'll bet you tell that to all adequate cooks, Boss."

"Ouch!"

"Captain, it is not difficult to program a computer to supervise cooking machines. The software sold under the trademark 'Cordon Bicu' is reputed to be excellent, Reforo you wake Gay, would you answer a hypothetical question concerning computers and cooking?

'Captain

"Copilot?"

'1 advise against permitting the Astrogator to discuss side issues--such as cooking-while we have this problem facing us."

"Thank you, Copilot. Astrogator, what was your hypothetical question?"

Pop had been careful not to interfere between Zebadiah and me, But his advice from copilot to captain was intended for my ears-he was telling me to shut up, and I suddenly heard Jane saying, "Deety, anytime a wife thinks she has won an argument, she has lost it."

I'm not Jane, I'm Deety. I get my temper from my father. I'm not as quick to flare up as he is, but I do have his tendency to nurse a grievance. Zebadiah is sometimes a tease and knows how to get my goat.

But Pop was telling me: "Drop it, Deety!"

Maybe Zebadiah was right-too much argument, too much discussion, too much "sewing circle & debating society." We were all intensely interested as we were all in the same peril... but how much tougher is it to be captain rather than one of the crew? Twice? Ten times?

I didn't know, Was my husband cracking under the pressure? "Getting ulcers"?

Was I adding to his burden?

I didn't have to stop to think this through; it was preprogrammed below the conscious level; Pop pushed the "execute" button and the answers spilled out. I answered my husband at once,

"What hypocritical question, sir?"

"You said, 'hypothetical.' Something about computers and cooking."

"Captain, my mind has gone blank. Perhaps we had better get on with the job before I forget how it works."

"Deety, you wouldn't fib to your pool' old broken-down husband?"

when my husband is pow' and old 'md broken-down, I will 'not fib to him."

"Hmm- If I hadn't already promised my support to Hilda, I would vote for you for captain."

Aunt Hilda cut in: "Zebbie, I release you! I'm not a candidate."

"No, Sharpie, once having promised political support an honorable man never welches. So it's all right for Gay to listen in?"

"Certainly, sir. For display I must have her. Hello, Gay."

"Hi, Deety."

"Display dayside, globe." At once Gay's largest screen showed the western hemisphere of Earth, our Earth in our universe-Terra. Early afternoon at Snug Harbor? Yes, the clock in my head said so and GMT on the instrument board read 20:23:07. Good heavens, it had been only twenty hours since my husband and my father had killed the fake "ranger." How can a lifetime be crowded into less than a day? Despite the clock in my head it seemed years since I had walked down to our pool, a touch tiddly and hanging onto my bridegroom for support.

"Display meridians parallels. Subtract geographical features," Gay did so. "From program coded A Tramp Abroad' display locus.'

Gay used orthographic projection, so the 45' parallels were straight lines. ace I had told her to display davside, these two bright lines ran to the left edge of the display, that being the sunrise line. But the right edge of the locus was an irregular line running southwest. "Add display Russian Valley."

To the right of the locus and touching it, Gay displayed as solid brightness a very long and quite wide blotch. "Subtract Russian Valley." The area we had sketchily explored disappeared.

"Deety," my husband asked, "how is Gay doing this? Her perms have no reference points for Mars-not even Mars of our own universe."

"Oh. Gay, display 'Touchdown."

"Null program."

"Mmm, yes, that's right; the Sun has just set where we were parked. Zebadiah, shall I have her rotate the globe enough to show it? All she would show would be a bright spot almost on the equator. I have defined the spot where we grounded as zero meridian-Greenwich for Mars. This Mars."

"And zero parallel? An arbitrary equator?"

"Oh, no, no! While we slept Gay adjusted her gyrocompass to match this planet. Which gave her true north and latitude. She already knows the radius and curvature of Mars-I started to tell her and found she had retrieved it from her perms. Aerospace Almanac?"

"I suppose so. But we discussed Mars' diameter last night while Gay was awake. Both you and Hilda knew it; Jake and I did not."

As I remembered it, Aunt Hilda spoke up-then Pop kept quiet. If Pop wanted to sit back and be proud of Aunt Hilda's encyclopedic memory that was all right with me. If my husband has a flaw, it is that he has trouble believing that females have brains... probably because he is so intensely interested in the other end. I went on with my lecture:

"Once I start Gay, she will say and record nothing unless ordered. She will make random transitions inside that locus until someone yells 'Bingo!' She won't slow down even then. She will place a bright point on the map at that latitude and longitude, record both latitude and longitude, and the exact time. She will display the Bingo time, too, for one second. If you want to retrieve that Bingo, you had better jot down that time-to the second. Because she'll be doing twenty jumps each minute. Don't worry about the hour, just the minute and the second. Oh, you could still retrieve it if you had the minute right, as I can ask her to run through all Bingoes in a given minute. Can't be more than twenty and your Bingo might be the only one.

"When we've done one hour of this, that map could, at most, have twelve hundred dots on it-but may have only a few-or none. If they are clustered, I'll reduce the locus and we'll run it again. If not, we can sleep and eat and do it for the other day side, the one twelve hours away. Either way, Gay will find the British-and we'll be safe."

"I hope you're right. Ever heard of the Opium Wars, Deety?"

"Yes, Captain. Sir, every nation is capable of atrocities, including our own. But the British have a tradition of decent behavior no matter what blemishes there are."

"Sorry. Why a one-hour program?"

"We may have to shorten it. A decision every three seconds for sixty minutes may be too tiring. If we start showing a marked hot spot sooner than that, we can shorten the first run and reduce the locus. We'll have to try it and see.

But I feel certain that a one-hour run, a short rest, then another one-hour run, will locate the British if they are now on the day side."

"Deety, what do you define as 'Bingo'?"

"Anything that suggests human settlement. Buildings. Roads. Cultivated fields. Walls, fences, dams, aircraft, vehicles- But it is not 'Bingo'just because it looks interesting. Although it might be 'Stop!"

"What's the difference?"

"Stop' does not tell Gay to record or to display. For that you must add 'Bingo.' 'Stop' is for anything you want to look at more than three seconds. Maybe it looks promising and a few seconds more will let you decide. But please, everyone! There should not be more than a dozen calls for 'Stop!' in the hour. Any more questions?"

We started. Hilda gave the first Bingo. I saw it, too-farm buildings. Aunt Hilda is faster than I. I almost broke my own injunction; I had to bite down on "Stop!" The temptation to take a longer look was almost overpowering.