Robert Heinlein - The Number of the Beast

"Oh. What altitude do you want, Captain-Captain darling? A tangent does little in three minima, just a touch over a hundred meters. Is ten kilometers about right?"

"Ten klicks is fine. I could aim at the horizon, make transition, then at once give the B, 0, U, N, C, E order."

"So you could, Zebadiah, but if you will use the horizon as reference and aim eighteen and a half degrees above it- Will your gunsight depress that far?"

"No, but I'll tell Gay. No problem."

"Three minima on that upward slant will place you ten klicks H-above-G and a couple of klicks short of three minima on the curve."

"Plus my present altitude."

"No, no! Visualize the triangle, Zebadiah. It makes no real difference whether you do this from ten klicks H-above-G, or parked on the ground. Do you want exact figures?"

"You visualize triangles, Deety; that's your department. I've got air bite now; I'm going to head west; I want to see where those ornithopters came from. Meantime work out that new fail-safe." Did it really make no difference whether I started from ten thousand meters or right on deck? Didn't I have to add in- No, of course not....ut one way was sine and the other way was tan. But which one? Hell, it didn't matter; Deety was right. She always is, on figures-but someday I'm going to work it carefully, on paper, with diagrams and tables. "Copilot."

"Captain."

"L axis, transit, three minima."

"Transition, L axis, thirty kilometers-set!"

"Gay Deceiver."

"I'm not at home but you may record a message."

"Change attitude to climb eighteen point five degrees and report."

"Roger Wilco. Climbing. Ten. Twelve. Fourteen. Sixteen. Eighteen. Mark!"

"Execute!"

We were somewhere else with black sky. "Gay, vertical dive. Execute."

"No trouble, Clyde; enjoy the ride."

"Zebadiah, may I talk with Gay while you look over the terrain? To reprogram that fail-safe."

"Sure, go ahead. Jake, want to scan with binox while I eyeball it? I'll warn before transition."

"Zebadiah, I could give her a scouting program, automatic. Skip the verfliers, skip the climb order; just an 'execute' code word. Place her on course... or I could include course."

"I'll head her manually; the rest is swell-after that fail-safe. What's the code word?"

"'Scout'?"

"Good. Include the 'execute' idea in the code word. Deety, I've decided that I love you for your brain. Not those irrelevant physical attributes."

"Zebadiah, once I've had a bath you may change your mind. I've had a sudden attack of brain fever. You had better program her yourself."

"Mutiny again. I retract and apologize. You smell yummy and should marinate another week. It's not your cortex or your character I love but your carcass-delectable! If it weren't for these seat belts, it would be rape, rape, rape, all the way to the ground. Actually you're sort o' stupid-but what a chassis!"

"That's better. Although I'm not stupid."

"You married me. Res ipsa loquitur! Jake, are you spotting anything?".

"Dry hills, Captain. Might as well move on."

"Zebadiah, will you place her in glide and hold a few minutes?"

"Sure. See something you want to check?"

"No, sir, But when we emerged here, we had seventy-three seconds to impact. We've used twenty-one seconds. I'd like a few moments to insert those preprograms."

I overrode manually and started Gay into a stretched glide while I extended her wings. Then I let Deety and Gay talk to each other. Deety had both changes fully worked out; not once did Gay answer, "Null program."

I was about to warn Deety that Gay was not a sailplane when she reported, "All done, Captain. For the 'S' program I added in an alarm for two klicks Habove-G,"

"Good idea. So now I head west again and give her that 'S' code word-no 'Execute'?"

"Yessir. 'Cept I'd like to try the revised B, U, G, 0, U, T program. It has been less than four minutes since we left. Someone may be in that exact spot."

"Deety, I share your curiosity. But it's like testing a parachute the hard way. Can't we save it until we need it? Then, if there is a glitch, we'll be dead so fast we'll hardly notice it."

Deety said nothing. I waited, then said, "Comment, please."

"No comment, Captain." Deety's answer was toneless. "Hmm- Science Officer....omment, please."

"I have no comment to offer, Captain." (A slight chill?) "Copilot, I require your advice."

"Uh, if the Captain please. Am I privileged to ask for written orders?"

"Well, I'll be dipped in- Gay Bounce! Is there such a thing as a 'space lawyer'? Like 'sea lawyer'? Jake, in general, anyone, save in the face of the enemy, may demand written orders... if he'll risk his career to 'perpetuate evidence for the court-martial he knows will follow. Did it myself once and saved my neck and cost my temporary boss fifty numbers-and I wound up senior to him and he resigned.

"But a second-in-command is in a special position; it is his duty to advise his C.O., even if the C.O. doesn't ask for advice. So I don't see how you can demand written orders on a point already one of your duties. But I won't make an issue of it. I'll direct the Astrogator to log your request, then I can dictate my reply into the log. Then I am going to ground this go-buggy and turn command over to you. Maybe you'll have more luck chairing this debating society than I have had. I wish you luck-you'll need it!"

"But, Captain, I did not ask for written orders."

"Eh?" I thought back. He hadn't, quite. "It sounded as if you were about to."

"I was stalling. I must advise you to follow the prudent course. Unofficially, I prefer to risk the test. But I should not have stalled. I'm sorry that my intransigence caused you to consider relinquishing command."

"I didn't just consider it; I have. Resignation effective the first time we ground. You've bought it, Jake."

"Captain-"

"Yes, Deety?"

"You are correct; the test I suggested is useless, and could be fatal. I should not have asked for it. I'm sorry....ir."

"Me, too! I felt you were being too strict with Deety. But you weren't; you were taking care of us, as you always do, Zebbie. Captain Zebbie. Of course you shouldn't make a risky test we don't need."

I said, "Anyone anything to add?" No one spoke up, so I added, "I'm heading west," and did so. "Gay Deceiver-Bug Out!"

Black sky above us; that "dead sea bottom" far below... . I remarked, "Looks as if a Russian, or one of their flappy craft, is in our parking spot. Deety, your revised program worked perfectly."

"But, Zebadiah-why did you risk it?" She sounded terribly distressed.

"Because all of you wanted to, despite what you said later. Because it's my last chance to make such a decision." I added, "Jake, I'm going to tilt her over. Grab the binox and see if you can identify where we were parked. If that fire is smoking, you can use it for reference."

"But, Captain, I'm not taking command. I won't accept it."

"Pipe down and carry out your orders! It's this damned yack-yack and endless argument that's giving me ulcers. If you won't accept command, then it's up for grabs. But not me! Oh, I'll pilot as the new CO. orders. But I won't command. Deety, how long did Gay pause to make that radar check? At what height?"

"H-above-G was half a klick. Duration I don't know but I can retrieve it. Darling-Captain! You're not really going to quit commanding us?"

"Deety, I don't make threats. Pipe down and retrieve that duration. Jake, what do you see?"

"I've located the fire. Several ornithopters are on the ground. My guess places one of them about where we were parked. Captain, I advise not dropping lower."

"Advice noted. Deety, how about that duration?" I didn't know how to ask for it myself, not having written the program.

Deety retrieved it smoothly: 0.071 seconds-call it a fifteenth of a second. Radar is not instantaneous; Gay had to stop and sweep that spot long enough for a "picture" to form in her gizzards, to tell her whether or not she could park there. A fifteenth of a second is loads of time for the human eye. I hoped that Colonel Frimpsky had been watching when Gay popped up and blinked out.