Robert Heinlein - Double Star

«You see that you make the delivery effective! I'll worry about the words.»

«You don't understand, Bill. I don't care whether the speech is politically effective or not; my job is to carry out a characterization. I can't do that if I put into the mouth of the character words that he would never use; it would sound as forced and phony as a goat spouting Greek. But if I read the speech in words he would use, it will automatically be effective. He's a great orator.»

«Listen, Smythe, you're not hired to write speeches. You're hired to — »

«Hold it, Bill!» Dak cut in. «And a little less of that “Smythe” stuff, too. Well, Rog? How about it?»

Clifton said, «As I understand it, Chief, your only objection is to some of the phrasing?»

«Well, yes. I'd suggest cutting out that personal attack on Mr. Quiroga, too, and the insinuation about his financial backers. It doesn't sound like real Bonforte to me.»

He looked sheepish. «That's a bit I put in myself. But you may be right. He always gives a man the benefit of the doubt.» He remained silent for a moment. «You make the changes you think you have to. We'll can it and look at the playback. We can always clip it — or even cancel completely “due to technical difficulties.”» He smiled grimly. «That's what we'll do, Bill.»

«Damn it, this is a ridiculous example of — »

«That's how it is going to be, Bill.»

Corpsman left the room very suddenly. Clifton sighed. «Bill always has hated the notion that anybody but Mr. B. could give him instructions. But he's an able man. Uh, Chief, how soon can you be ready to record? We patch in at sixteen hundred.»

«I don't know. I'll be ready in time.»

Penny followed me back into my office. When she closed the door I said, «I won't need you for the next hour or so, Penny child. But you might ask Doc for more of those pills. I may need them.»

«Yes, sir.» She floated with her back to the door. «Chief?»

«Yes, Penny?»

«I just wanted to say don't believe what Bill said about writing his speeches!»

«I didn't. I've heard his speeches — and I've read this.»

«Oh, Bill does submit drafts, lots of times. So does Rog. I've even done it myself. He — he will use ideas from anywhere if he thinks they are good. But when he delivers a speech, it is his, every word of it.»

«I believe you. I wish he had written this one ahead of time.»

«You just do your best!»

I did. I started out simply substituting synonyms, putting in the gutty Germanic words in place of the «intestinal» Latin jawbreakers. Then I got excited and red in the face and tore it to pieces. It's a lot of fun for an actor to mess around with lines; he doesn't get the chance very often.

I used no one but Penny for my audience and made sure from Dak that I was not being tapped elsewhere in the ship — though I suspect that the big-boned galoot cheated on me and listened in himself. I had Penny in tears in the first three minutes; by the time I finished (twenty-eight and a half minutes, just time for station announcements, she was limp). I took no liberties with the straight Expansionist doctrine, as proclaimed by its official prophet, the Right Honorable John Joseph Bonforte; I simply reconstructed his message and his delivery, largely out of phrases from other speeches.

Here's an odd thing — I believed every word of it while I was talking.

But, brother, I made a speech!

Afterwards we all listened to the playback, complete with full stereo of myself. Jimmie Washington was present, which kept Bill Corpsman quiet. When it was over I said, «How about it, Rog? Do we need to clip anything?»

He took his cigar out of his mouth and said, «No. If you want my advice, Chief, I'd say to let it go as it is.»

Corpsman left the room again — but Mr. Washington came over with tears leaking out of his eyes — tears are a nuisance in free fall; there's nowhere for them to go. «Mr. Bonforte, that was beautiful. »

«Thanks, Jimmie.»

Penny could not talk at all.

I turned in after that; a top-notch performance leaves me fagged. I slept for more than eight hours, then was awakened by the hooter. I had strapped myself to my bunk — I hate to float around while sleeping in free fall — so I did not have to move. But I had not known that we were getting under way so I called the control room between first and second warning. «Captain Broadbent?»

«Just a moment, sir,» I heard Epstein answer.

Then Dak's voice came over. «Yes, Chief? We are getting underway on schedule — pursuant to your orders.»

«Eh? Oh yes, certainly.»

«I believe Mr. Clifton is on his way to your cabin.»

«Very well, Captain.» I lay back and waited.

Immediately after we started to boost at one gee Rog Clifton came in; he had a worried look on his face I could not interpret — equal parts of triumph, worry, and confusion. «What is it, Rog?»

«Chief! They've jumped the gun on us! The Quiroga government has resigned!»

I was still logy with sleep; I shook my head to try to clear it. «What are you in such a spin about, Rog? That's what you were trying to accomplish, wasn't it?»

«Well, yes, of course. But — » He stopped.

«But what? I don't get it. Here you chaps have been working and scheming for years to bring about this very thing. Now you've won — and you look like a bride who isn't sure she wants to go through with it. Why? The no-good-nicks are out and now God's chillun get their innings. No?»

«Uh — you haven't been in politics much.»

«You know I haven't. I got trimmed when I ran for patrol leader in my scout troop. That cured me.»

«Well, you see, timing is everything.»

«So my father always told me. Look here, Rog, do I gather that if you had your druthers you'd druther Quiroga was still in office? You said he had “jumped the gun.”»

«Let me explain. What we really wanted was to move a vote of confidence and win it, and thereby force a general election on them — but at our own time, when we estimated that we could win the election.»

«Oh. And you don't figure you can win now? You think Quiroga will go back into office for another five years — or at least the Humanity Party will?»

Clifton looked thoughtful. «No, I think our chances are pretty good to win the election.»

«Eh? Maybe I'm not awake yet. Don't you want to win?»

«Of course. But don't you see what this resignation has done to us?»

«I guess I don't.»

«Well, the government in power can order a general election at any time up to the constitutional limitation of five years. Ordinarily they will go to the people when the time seems most favorable to them. But they don't resign between the announcement and the election unless forced to. You follow me?»

I realized that the event did seem odd, little attention as I paid to politics. «I believe so.»

«But in this case Quiroga's government scheduled a general election, then resigned in a body, leaving the Empire without a government. Therefore the sovereign must call on someone else to form a “caretaker” government to serve until the election. By the letter of the law he can ask any member of the Grand Assembly, but as a matter of strict constitutional precedent he has no choice. When a government resigns in a body — not just reshuffling portfolios but quits as a whole — then the sovereign must call on the leader of the opposition to form the “caretaker” government. It's indispensable to our system; it keeps resigning from being just a gesture. Many other methods have been tried in the past; under some of them governments were changed as often as underwear. But our present system insures responsible government.»