Robert Heinlein - Double Star

Acting per se, like all art, is a process of abstracting, of retaining only significant detail. But in impersonation any detail can be significant. In time, something as silly as not crunching celery could let the cat out of the bag.

Then I recalled with glum conviction that my performance probably need be convincing only long enough for a marksman to draw a bead on me.

But I was still studying the man I was to replace (what else could I do?) when the door opened and I heard Dak in his proper person call out, «Anybody home?» The lights came on, the three-dimensional vision faded, and I felt as if I had been wrenched from a dream. I turned my head; the young woman called Penny was struggling to lift her head from the other hydraulic bed and Dak was standing braced in the doorway.

I looked at him and said wonderingly, «How do you manage to stand up?» Part of my mind, the professional part that works independently, was noting how he stood and filing it in a new drawer marked: «How a Man Stands under Two Gravities.»

He grinned at me. «Nothing to it. I wear arch supports.»

«Hmmmph!»

«You can stand up, if you want to. Ordinarily we discourage passengers from getting out of the boost tanks when we are torching at anything over one and a half gees — too much chance that some idiot will fall over his own feet and break a leg. But I once saw a really tough weightlifter type climb out of the press and walk at five gravities — but he was never good for much afterwards. But two gees is okay — about like carrying another man piggyback.» He glanced at the young lady. «Giving him the straight word, Penny?»

«He hasn't asked anything yet.»

«So? Lorenzo, I thought you were the lad who wanted all the answers.»

I shrugged. «I cannot now see that it matters, since it is evident that I will not live long enough to appreciate them.»

«Eh? What soured your milk, old son?»

«Captain Broadbent,» I said bitterly, «I am inhibited in expressing myself by the presence of a lady; therefore I cannot adequately discuss your ancestry, personal habits, morals, and destination. Let it stand that I knew what you had tricked me into as soon as I became aware of the identity of the man I am to impersonate. I will content myself with one question only: who is about to attempt to assassinate Bonforte? Even a clay pigeon should be entitled to know who is shooting at him.»

For the first time I saw Dak register surprise. Then he laughed so hard that the acceleration seemed to be too much for him; he slid to the deck and braced his back against a bulkhead, still laughing.

«I don't see anything funny about it,» I said angrily.

He stopped and wiped his eyes. «Lorrie old son, did you honestly think that I had set you up as a sitting duck?»

«It's obvious.» I told him my deductions about the earlier assassination attempts.

He had the sense not to laugh again. «I see. You thought it was a job about like food taster for a Middle Ages king. Well, we'll have to try to straighten you out; I don't suppose it helps your acting to think that you are about to be burned down where you stand. Look, I've been with the Chief for six years. During that time I know he has never used a double ... Nevertheless, I was present on two occasions when attempts were made on his life — one of those times I shot the hatchet man. Penny, you've been with the Chief longer than that. Has he ever used a double before?»

She looked at me coldly. «Never. The very idea that the Chief would let anybody expose himself to danger in his place is — well, I ought to slap your face; that's what I ought to do!»

«Take it easy, Penny,» Dak said mildly. «You've both got jobs to do and you are going to have to work with him. Besides, his wrong guess isn't too — silly, not from the outside. By the way, Lorenzo, this is Penelope Russell. She is the Chief's personal secretary, which makes her your number-one coach.»

«I am honored to meet you, mademoiselle.»

«I wish I could say the same!»

«Stow it, Penny, or I'll spank your round fanny — at two gravities. Lorenzo, I concede that doubling for John Joseph Bonforte isn't as safe as riding in a wheel chair — shucks, as we both know, several attempts have been made to close out his life insurance. But that is not what we are afraid of this time. Matter of fact, this time, for political reasons you will presently understand, the laddies we are up against won't dare to try to kill the Chief — or to kill you when you are doubling for the Chief. They are playing rough — as you know ! — and they would kill me, or even Penny, for the slightest advantage. They would kill you right now, if they could get at you. But when you make this public appearance as the Chief you'll be safe; the circumstances will be such that they can't afford to kill.»

He studied my face. «Well?»

I shook my head. «I don't follow you.»

«No, but you will. It is a complicated matter, involving Martian ways of looking at things. Take it for granted; you'll know all about it before we get there.»

I still did not like it. Thus far Dak had told me no outright lies that I knew of — but he could lie effectively by not telling all that he knew, as I had learned the bitter way, I said, «See here, I have no reason to trust you, or to trust this young lady — if you will pardon me, miss. But while I haven't any liking for Mr. Bonforte, he does have the reputation for being painfully, even offensively, honest. When do I get to talk to him? As soon as we reach Mars?»

Dak's ugly, cheerful face was suddenly shadowed with sadness. I'm afraid not. Didn't Penny tell you?»

'Tell me what?»

«Old son, that's why we've got to have a double for the Chief. They've kidnapped him.»

My head ached, possibly from the double weight, or perhaps from too many shocks. «Now you know,» Dak went on. «You know why Jock Dubois didn't want to trust you with it until after we raised ground. It is the biggest news story since the first landing on the Moon, and we are sitting on it, doing our damnedest to keep it from ever being known. We hope to use you until we can find him and get him back. Matter of fact, you have already started your impersonation. This ship is not really the Go For Broke; it is the Chief's private yacht and traveling office, the Tom Paine. The Go For Broke is riding a parking orbit around Mars, with its transponder giving out the recognition signal of this ship — a fact known only to its captain and comm officer — while the Tommie tucks up her skirts and rushes to Earth to pick up a substitute for the Chief. Do you begin to scan it, old son?»

I admit that I did not. «Yes, but — see here, Captain, if Mr. Bonforte's political enemies have kidnapped him, why keep it secret? I should expect you to shout it from the housetops.»

«On Earth we would. At New Batavia we would. On Venus we would. But here we are dealing with Mars. Do you know the legend of Kkkahgral the Younger?»

«Eh? I'm afraid I don't.»

«You must study it; it will give you insight into what makes a Martian tick. Briefly, this boy Kkkah was to appear at a certain time and place, thousands of years ago, for a very high honor — like being knighted. Through no fault of his own (the way we would look at it) he failed to make it on time. Obviously the only thing to do was to kill him — by Martian standards. But because of his youth and his distinguished record some of the radicals present argued that he should be allowed to go back and start over. But Kkkahgral would have none of it. He insisted on his right to prosecute the case himself, won it, and was executed. Which makes him the very embodiment, the patron saint, of propriety on Mars.»