Robert Asprin: Myth-Chief

"All right." Bunny sat up and became all business. She pointed at Aahz and me. "Both of you totally lost sight of the objectives—yours was to solve Matfany's PR problem and get the kingdom solvent, and yours was to put Hermalaya back on the throne."

"But they were mutually exclusive goals," I said.

"Right," Massha said. "The really important thing was to put the two of them face-to-face and sort out their personal problems. The kingdom would take care of itself. It took both of you to fix it so it would really work. And it did. They'll live happily ever after. It's soooo romantic."

"So who won?" Aahz pressed. "Who's the new president?"

All of the others looked at each other, but it was Tananda who delivered the bad news. "Neither of you. You both tried to sabotage each other, which is a no-no. You focused on the money, which is never our primary goal. You tried to use the rest of us to spy on the other, and you know better than that. We all got together and discussed it. We want the one person who really listened to the clients, who kept everyone organized, and who didn't indulge in fits of temper or ego or go off for months without explanation. We want a leader with common sense and a cool head." I could almost hear the drumroll as she turned and lifted a hand to gesture at that one person. "Bunny."

Bunny's eyes went as round as saucers. "Me?" she asked. "Really?"

Tananda gave her a big hug. "You. Really." "Well, wow," she said. "I don't know what to say." "Say yes," Chumley advised, giving her an all-enveloping hug.

"We were all incredibly impressed at how impartially you handled both of these big idiots and kept them from causing trouble for each other. Do you want the job? Because we really need you. We've been coasting for months, and we know it. We'd be pleased and honored if you'd be the president of M.Y.T.H., Inc.** Tananda looked over her shoulder at me. "Oh, Skeeve. You can come back, too, if you want. We've really missed you."

"Why Bunny?" Aahz demanded, with his fiercest scowl.

"She doesn't have any experience as the head of a major magikal investigative organization." Nunzio raised a finger.

"Neither did Skeeve. The operation just grew with him at its head, and he did fine. But since we started diversifying, we need more than that. She's Don Bruce's niece. She was brought up to run a much bigger organization than this one."

Chumley cleared his throat. "She has a superb gift for subtlety, what? Without making a big deal out of it, she has kept Skeeve in contact with everybody else—almost everybody—and she gets along with everybody."

Aahz and I looked at each other.

"What the hell," he snorted, sitting back and crossing his legs casually. "I didn't really want it."

"Neither did I," I said. "I just wanted to come back. Now I can." I settled down and beckoned Gleep over. My dragon was happy to come and drop his head across my lap for an overdue ear-scratching. "Miss me, fellah?"

"What are you doing that for?" Bunny asked. I looked up, stunned. "I've got a new job for each of you! If you really want to handle business right after a party, move it!" I jumped up. So did Aahz. "I want you to get rid of these darned Humbees! If the Foxe-Swampburgians can fix their bug problem, we have to be able to solve ours. I mean, we're M.Y.T.H., Inc. already."

Aahz and I looked at each other and grinned.

"Whatever you say, Chief," I said.

"We'll get right on it," Aahz agreed.

Bunny smiled. She sat down and swung her silk-shod feet up on the president's desk. "That's better."

Big Julie's advice to Skeeve can be found in Myth-Told Tales, a not-to-be-missed collection of short adventures that any discerning reader must have.

See that encounter in Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections in your local bookstore.

For a useful travelogue of the delights of Flibber, read Myth-Taken Identity, another fine tale.

A complete account can be found in that irreplaceable volume Class Dis-Mythed.

The exciting details appear in "Myth-ter Right," one of the many fine stories in Myth-Told Tales.

See the whole account in Myth Alliances, available from your more reputable purveyors of fiction.

For the whole intriguing yarn, read Myth Alliances.