Robert Asprin - Myth-Chief

"At least you won't have stage fright," Guido said. "That is the ailment that has caused more than one person of talent to have to forgo a public career in spite of talent."

"Oh, I'm used to public speaking," the princess said, starting to become enthusiastic about the prospect.

Aahz seemed to be getting into the spirit. "Do we have to feed you lines, or can you memorize a script?"

"Sir," Hermalaya said, pretending to be indignant, "I have to make an hour-long speech every year on the anniversary of my ascension? Of course I can remember lines."

"In that, I am afraid I am your weak link," Matfany said. "I am a good public servant, but I am no actor. I do not dissemble."

"In other words, what you see is what you get?" Massha asked.

"What if we act around him?" Tananda asked, eyeing the prime minister with dismay.

"Don't worry," Aahz said, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "We'll take care of that. He doesn't have to do a thing. I have it all worked out."

"I still don't see why I have to be the bad guy," I grumbled. "He was your client."

"We're working together now," Aahz said. "This is for the common good of Foxe-Swampburg. How's the advance publicity going?"

Massha gave us a wicked grin.

"I started rumors in at least sixty bookstores that Hermalaya was going to defy the evil prime minister and turn up in Foxe-Swampburg tomorrow afternoon. If the response I got was any indication, then thousands of people are going to show up just to see if it's true."

"Great," Aahz said. "The more the merrier. I want the place packed. I made a deal with the Geek and a few of our sponsors to sell souvenirs just outside the castle gates. It's a small way of making up for taking down all their bill-boards."

"Is anyone selling copies of The Princess's Diary?" Bunny asked. "I hate for Hermalaya to miss out on the best-motivated crowd she's ever going to get."

"Special order from the printer," Aahz said. "The Paper Wasps promised they'd churn out a thousand copies by dawn tomorrow, or they'd have to eat them. What about security? I don't want any trigger-happy yahoo thinking he can pick up a bounty from Matfany on the princess, or vice versa."

Guido lifted a finger. "We're set. I lined up some of our friends to act as on-the-ground security inside and outside the castle. Pookie's in charge of the force in the building and overhead. Gus has a day off from the Golden Crescent, so I put him in as group captain in the courtyard."'

"Great," I said. "I was hoping to throw some work his way."

"How's our star doing?" Aahz asked, checking off one more item from his list.

"Letter-perfect," Nunzio said. "She knows the script better than I do. She's started correcting me when I read something wrong. What a lady! She's no more nervous than a statue. She is ready to go."

So was I. We had spent the last few days working on this plan. Aahz had pretty much taken over, as I figured he would, leaving me with nothing much to do. I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose, or if the group was just used to working without me as it had been for months. I was losing hope that I could find a way to be relevant to the company as it had grown up. Everybody was being nice to me, but it wasn't the same as involving me.

Still, I played an important role in the event itself. My job was to maintain all the magik we needed for our subterfuge, including disguises. I was eager to prove once and for all to my friends that I was the person they wanted to work for again.

We sneaked into Foxe-Swampburg early the next morning. I couldn't have asked for better weather. According to

Hermalaya. it was the beginning of spring. If there was birdsong, I couldn't hear it over the buzz of excited visitors. The courtyard was packed with people, mostly Swamp Foxes, but lots and lots of tourists of all races. I couldn't have been more delighted.

"Are you ready'.'" I asked the princess, as we watched the milling throng from behind a curtain in the balcony that overlooked the castle's front door.

"I had better be," Hermalaya said. She looked magnificent. She wore a plain white-silk gown under a royal purple cloak edged with silver fur and jewels. On her head was a small crown with one fist-sized golden gem in the center that had made Aahz moan with greed when he saw it. "As they say, first impressions are the most important."

Massha came over to us with one of her bracelets buzzing.

"Everybody else is ready," she said.

"Then I'd better get set," I said. I closed my eyes and gathered up plenty of magik from the strong red force line that arched over the castle. Whoever had built this place knew what he or she was doing. My internal storage filled up in one breath.

I pictured Matfany's face and body, wearing an elegant black suit embroidered in silver, with a vent in the back for his bushy tail. I drew the image over me, until it took the place of my own face. I heard a gasp from Hermalaya.

"Why, you look just like him? It's amazing."

"All part of the service, your highness," I said. "All right, Massha."

She enveloped us both in a smothering, perfumed hug. "Good luck, honey! Knock 'em dead, Big Shot."

"Thanks. Go on, your highness. When you hear the fanfare, step through the curtain."

Matfany had given his personal orders to the royal trumpeters. At exactly midmorning, they appeared on the castle steps, pointed their instruments to the sky, and blew.

Ta-ran-tara! Taran-tara! Ta-ra-ra-ra-rantara!

Hermalaya took a deep breath and pushed through the hanging swathes of silk.

The cheer that went up from the crowd was deafening. It was a long ten minutes before she could start her speech.

"My good and gentle people, I am so happy to be back with you again today. It's been a lonely exile, but what has kept me going was thinking about all of you? It was through the graces of true friends that I have managed to return." She had to halt for cheers about every other line.

I crouched and waited for my cue.

"And nothing will ever part me from you again, my beloved people!"

I sprang. The crowd gasped.

"There you are!" I boomed. I had also laid on an aural illusion that gave me Matfany's basso-profundo tones. Many in the crowd booed at me. I did my best to assume the prime minister's gimlet stare. Most of them subsided. I turned back to the princess, who cowered against the side of the arched window. "I warned you what would happen if you returned, princess! Guards! Seize her!"

The curtain parted, and in marched a full contingent of the castle guard, led by the royal wizard. One of them winked as he passed me. I had lined up the loyal opposition, who were delighted to have a part in helping their princess. They had a hard time keeping from grinning. I groaned inwardly. Everybody likes to ham it up.

"No!" the crowd burst out. "Let her alone!"

"I decreed if she broke her exile, she must die! Take her away!"

The crowd booed as guards surrounded the princess, who did her best to look helpless and forlorn.

"Get your hands off that princess!"

From the entrance to the courtyard, Aahz's bellow echoed over the heads of the crowd. They all turned to see who was talking.

The reaction from the people told me I had given Aahz just the right disguise, though I couldn't see it. He appeared to be a Reynardan with sable brown fur streaked with gold, wearing a silver-silk tunic and blue breeches. He wore a silver circlet on his head.

"And who are you to defy me, the prime minister of Foxe-Swampburg?" I shouted back. I just didn't have the lungs of a Pervect. I amplified my voice with magik. "And who are you?"

"I am Fanmat, prince of Goodenrich. That lady is the rightful heir to the throne, and I have come to see her put back where she belongs."