Robert Asprin - Myth-Fortunes

"Uh, that's pretty good," I managed to choke out.

"We are proud of it," the manager said. "It takes a hundred Ghords a hundred days to make a single bottle! Enjoy!"

"This is a special occasion," I said, holding up my cup to Matt. "I've never jumped head-first off a cliff on purpose."

She looked a little sad, but extended her cup to touch to mine. "Your continued good health."

"Yours, too," I said. I took my time finishing it. One sip at a time was about all I could gag down. Matt drank hers, but with little apparent pleasure.

"And, now, dessert?" the waiter asked, appearing at my elbow.

"What would you like?" I asked Matt. I refrained from suggesting that she probably had no room for one, since she had eaten very little of four previous courses and a sorbet (offered as a palate cleanser between the salad and the entree), but I could just hear Tananda giving me a piece of her mind if I criticized my date to her face. I was determined to do this absolutely right.

"Nothing, thank you."

I was surprised. "Are you sure?" I turned to the waiter. "Why don't you give us some more time to decide? I'll call you when we make up our minds."

He withdrew to a distance where he could see us, but not hear us.

Matt leaned close and put her slender hand on mine.

"You must want this information very badly," she said.

"What?" I was taken aback. "No! I mean, I'm enjoying our time together. In fact, I'd be happy to see you

again, any time."

She shook her head. "You don't really like me. You are being a gentleman in the face of my outright rudeness. I would have preferred it if you took me out because you wanted my company. The truth is that you're using me, or you would like to."

I was shocked. I shook my head. "But I liked having lunch with you the last couple of times, and I have really enjoyed being with you this time. Didn't you have a good time at all?"

"It was a nice date," she conceded. "You were brave to try the jump even though you were afraid. It shows how determined you are, and I can respect that. I've seen your women friends, the ones who accompanied you that evening to confront Diksen. I'm not under any illusions that I'm the sort of person you would choose for yourself, or that they would choose for you."

I grinned uneasily, picturing fire elementals or brassy Jahk women in filmy trousers. "I'd be concerned about the girls that either Massha or Markie would fix me up with."

Matt shook her head. "Don't be. They know you pretty well, and they care deeply about you. But that is not the whole story."

She was right.

"What is it you want?" I asked.

"Tell the truth," Matt said. "That's the only thing that means anything to me."

Up until then I hadn't realized how much of the truth I had been bending just to get my way. I was ashamed of myself. I'd given up my dreams of being a successful thief a long time ago. I shouldn't try to steal anything, let alone information.

I opened my hands. "Aahz is my best friend. He's been my mentor, my partner, my friend, the one I have trusted for years. I am scared for him." I told her about my concern that he was sick and not telling anybody. "But I refuse to let a deal kill him. I don't like him suffering to satisfy your boss's need for revenge on someone else. I do need your help, and I'll do anything to get it. Haven't you ever had anyone you cared about like that?"

Matt crossed her arms. "Maybe. You haven't earned the right to ask me personal questions."

"Sorry," I said. "We talked about a lot of things. I thought we were getting to know each other. But I guess we really didn't."

"We did," Matt said. "I learned you wanted to use me to get what you want and you can be ruthless, though in a nice way. You learned I'm not as dumb as I look. But I didn't think you were . . . ! She took the tallest feather out of her headpiece and touched it to my hand. The black feather glowed silver. She returned it to the top of her head. "The feather of truth never lies. And you are not lying, about this, anyhow. You mean what you just said."

I was determined to be straightforward from then on. "No. Not about Aahz. Will you help me?"

Matt raised her eyebrows. "You want me to incur a curse from my boss?"

"Well, yes," I said frankly. "I'd do anything for Aahz. And he'd do anything for me. That I'm certain of."

"If I help you, you will owe me. You already owe me one favor, for attempting to use me."

"Then I owe you two." I showed her an open, honest face. "I admit I took you out to get information about Diksen. I'm worried about my friend and I saw you as my last hope. I do owe you, and I don't deny my obligations. You can call on me any time, for any reason. You have my word on it."

Matt nodded. "Good. We will call it a debt against the future. Then what is it you wanted?"

I grimaced. "The problems my partner is suffering are getting worse. You won't believe it, because you've only seen him yell and carry on, but he's really a sensitive guy."

"He does not seem at all sensitive, from my experience with him."

I squirmed a little. Aahz did strike people as overbearing. "Well. . . you have to know him better."

"That I do not wish to do," Matt said. "But I see that you are sincere in one facet of your life. He likes books."

"Who?"

"Diksen. He will pay any price for an exotic book of wisdom. He has been looking for a good or excellent copy of the Magus Sutra for years. That is all." "That's all?"

She smiled, a wintry little expression. "With your determination, it should be more than enough. I am sorry I will not be getting to know you. I would have treasured having a friend like you. I hope your partner appreciates what he has."

"I think so," I said. "I hope so."

"The Magus Sutra?" Bunny asked, calling a meeting in our secondary office suite across the Bazaar. Buttercup, delighted to have company during the day, ate sugar out of my palm. Gleep wound around my legs. "I've never heard of it."

"I have," Aahz said, with a wicked grin that spread across his face. "Back in magik school, we used to hide out in the rear staircase behind the library with the dean's personal copy." He rolled his eyes up, reminiscing.

"Aahz! Stay with us," Tananda said, tapping him on the knee. "I've read it, too. It's not as hot as some modern texts on Trollia, but you have to love the classics. It's got some amazing illustrations. If this is something that Diksen can't resist, then it sounds like the solution we've been looking for. Where can we get a copy of this book?"

Aahz shrugged. "I don't know. It's been out of print for over five hundred years."

"Can we, uh, liberate a volume from a collection?" Guido asked. "It sounds like you know of at least two."

"Not a good idea," I said I was still feeling stung from the hit my integrity had taken on my day out with Matt, and it was all my own fault. "I'd rather buy one. We'll get paid back

for it. Matt said Diksen would pay any price to own it. By the way, why aren't we in M.Y.T.H., Inc.'s

headquarters?"

Bunny shrugged. "Bytina picked up some buggy software. I think it came from a client who came into the office yesterday. I mean, there is nowhere you can sit without getting bytten! I'm having the place debugged by an expert. We should be able to get back in there tomorrow, next day at the latest."

Aahz made a face. "The curse must be spreading out."

"We'll get rid of it," Bunny assured him. "If tempting Diksen with the Magus Sutra will work, let's concentrate on tracking one down. As Skeeve says, it doesn't matter how much it costs if it works."

There's no more certain way to make the price of a commodity rise than to let it be known that you have to have it. We didn't spread the word, but somehow it got around that we were trying to find a mint copy of a rare book.