John Scalzi - The Android's Dream

On the periphery of the Nidu computer network, Brian waited for a sign. He wasn't waiting alone.

"They've jumped out of n-space, you know," Andrea Hayter-Ross said, floating next to Brian and sitting at that damned patio table of hers.

"I know," Brian said. "I'm getting better at the whole 'being multiple places at once' thing."

"There's a good boy," Hayter-Ross said. "You're showing off your learning curve again."

"Thanks, Grandma," Brian said.

"And saucy too," Hayter-Ross said. "Just the way I like my boys. So, how are you enjoying it? Being on the cusp of history?"

"I'm not," Brian said. "I hate the waiting. I want it to begin."

"Patience, Brian," Hayter-Ross said. "It won't be long now. Narf-win-Getag is heading his shuttle straight for the Fehenjuni—that"s the imperial court, you know."

"I know," Brian said.

"Of course you do," Hayter-Ross said. "Narf-win-Getag isn't even letting Creek and Robin choose an appropriate wardrobe for themselves, he's in such a rush. He's going to have robes waiting for them at the Fehenjuni,"

"Can you blame him?" Brian said. "He's spent decades plotting and planning. Now he figures he's just an hour or two away from his prize. When you're ready for your future, you want it to happen as soon as possible. This guy's an asshole, but I sympathize with his point of view on that particular subject."

"Well, both of you will be living in the future soon enough," Hayter-Ross said. "In the meantime, Brian, sit down and have a cup of tea with me."

"The tea doesn't exist, you know," Brian said. "And anyway, I hate tea."

"Silly boy," Hayter-Ross said, as she poured Brian a cup anyway. "I know the tea doesn't exist. And you ought to know by now that just because I give you tea doesn't mean you can't change it to whatever you want when you drink it."

"I never thought of it that way," Brian said.

"I know," Hayter-Ross said, holding the cup up for Brian to take. "But you're going to have to get used to thinking about things a whole new way. This is as good a place as any to start."

"Wow," Robin Baker said, in spite of herself. "Have you ever seen a room like this?"

"One time," Creek said. "In Jerusalem. The Dome of the Rock. But this is much bigger."

The two were standing in the center of the Great Hall of the Fehen, itself the heart of the immense complex known as the Fehenjuni, the Seat of the Fehen. The Great Hall was unpractically large, the size of a football stadium, and topped with a hemispherical dome constructed of giant, curving sheets of manufactured, reinforced gemstones. Emerald and ruby and sapphire and tourmaline and opal and garnet were all used like stained glass to form scenes of Nidu mythology and history. Creek had no doubt that Narf-win-Getag would displace one of the stories portrayed on the dome to place his own up there, to shine in the light of Nidu's sun. In the center of the dome, a manufactured diamond the size of a baby elephant was faceted to collimate the light of the sun straight down to the center of the room, to a raised dais which usually held the throne of the Fehen, but which today held the altar upon which Robin Baker would spill her blood.

Robin and Creek were not alone in the Great Hall. They were not even the only humans; per a now-ancient service agreement, two representatives of LegaCen were on hand to monitor the performance of the computer network during the ceremony and to focus the computers' projectors, which would create certain images during the proceedings. Around them and Creek and Robin, Nidu apparatchiks buzzed, preparing the room for the ceremony and ignoring the humans in their presence as one would expect me Nidu to do in this, the most important room on the planet. To the side of me altar a Nidu priest paced, going over me ceremony in his head and attempting not to be scandalized that a human woman would be the sacrifice this time—and that he wasn't actually allowed to sacrifice her completely.

In a matter of minutes, the gargantuan doors at the end of the hall would swing open, allowing the guests and official observers of me ceremony into the hall. In their number would be high-ranking members of government from more man 200 worlds, and mid-ranking members of government from the rest as well as a low-end representative from the CC itself—a general reflection of me overall status of Nidu in the CC hierarchy of worlds.

As a matter of status, President Webster of Earth really should have been the one to attend the ceremony. Rather inconveniently, however, it conflicted with a long-planned state visit from the president of Vhrugy, one of the rather more important worlds in the CC. And so Webster was not disposed to attend. In these circumstances, Secretary of state Heffer was a reasonable substitute. There was small irony, therefore, in the fact that the suddenly worsening relations between Earth and Nidu had caused the president of Vhrugy to cancel her visit. Technically, the president was free to attend the coronation. As a practical matter, however, his world was looking down the launchers of two planet cracker bombs. And so once again it did not make the best of sense for him to be there.

Some short time after the guests were assembled, Narf-win-Getag would enter the Great Hall, ascend the dais, and perform a series of general rituals that announced his intent to take the throne of Nidu. These preliminary rituals were not strictly required for ascension to the throne, but they were traditional, and they gave the ceremony a nice rounded feel.

After the preliminaries came the required sections, which were created by the auf-Getags after the clan had initially ascended the throne. Many clans who had previously ascended the throne had lardered their coronation ceremonies with so many actions and details that all but the most attentive of candidates ran the very real risk of screwing up and disqualifying himself and his clan, thus throwing Nidu—yet again—into the throes of civil war.

Unlike these clans, the auf-Getags opted to keep their required rituals simple: A scan of the brain of the sacrificial sheep and the subsequent blood sacrifice, followed by two questions asked by the Nidu computer network: "Which clan brings the sacrifice?" and "What is the bidding of the clan of sacrifice?" The intended answers to these questions were, respectively, "The auf-Getag clan" and "Give me control of the network."

The auf-Getags were comfortable with such a short ceremony because of the computer network and because of the sheep. He who controlled the computer network controlled every aspect of the Nidu government. That was all that need to be said about that; once that kind of extreme power was assigned it was difficult to fight against. As for the sheep, the computer network could quickly determine the genetics of the blood sacrifice to assure the sacrifice was of breed; the brain scan determined that the animal was alive and gauged its mental capacity.

The last of these was key: In a small but important detail, the questions asked in the ceremony were technically asked of the sacrificial animal itself, but in the event that the sacrifice could not answer the questions (which was always), the questions could be answered by a member of the clan with legal ownership of the sacrificial animal.

This worked out nicely for the auf-Getags, as the sacrificial animal, being a sheep, could not speak (confirmed by the brain scan) and was killed in any event during the ceremony. The questions always defaulted to a member of the clan which owned the sheep. By Nidu law, the only clan that could legally own sheep was the auf-Getag clan. Even if a member of another clan procured a live Android's Dream sheep, the questions could not be answered by the sheep thief, as his clan did not, in fact, own the sheep.