David Garnet - Bikini Planet

But maybe because Janesmith hadn’t treated him the way she should have done, the management had provided compensation in the form of a naked redhead.

Or perhaps they had discovered he was in GalactiCop. It was always good policy to keep in with the police, which could also be why they gave him a fantasy girl who pretended she was in danger and had come to him for help.

When Norton realised Kiru was a computerised simulation, he’d felt cheated. For a moment. By then it was too late to bother, and so he’d continued enjoying what was offered. Which was why he had been smiling. Until he’d been arrested as a space pirate.

“Do you ever doubt the evidence of your own senses?” Norton asked.

“If I can see it,” said Kiru, looking at him, “that’s good enough for me. And if I can touch it, that’s even better.” She leaned harder against him.

Norton used to believe that, but not anymore. There was no such thing as objective information. It all became twisted to fit the false perspective. Everything was subjective.

He had no way of telling what was going on.

Perhaps he was the victim of a drug-induced hallucination. Spiked by Janesmith’s spiked teeth.

Perhaps he was dreaming, still deep in his three-century sleep.

Perhaps he was unconscious, stunned by Mr. Ash’s treacherous blow.

Or perhaps he was in a spherical cell.

If he could choose, this was his choice: He hoped he was in a cell with a beautiful nude redhead because that meant all they had done together had been real.

As a fantasy, it had been great.

But as reality, it was Wayne Norton who had been great.

“You’re smiling again, James.”

Out of habit, he’d given a false name. James Bogart sounded a lot better than Humphrey Cagney.

“Am I?” he asked, as he kept smiling.

“What have you got to be so happy about? Anyone would think you liked being here.”

“I like being with you, Kiru, although I’d prefer to be somewhere else with you. This is obviously a mistake, and once I’ve been questioned they’ll let me out, and then I’ll be able to help you.”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah,” he said, and he did.

“It’s a pity no one’s going to question you,” said Kiru. “For both our sakes.”

“Of course I’ll be questioned. That’s standard procedure everywhere.”

The authorities had every right to be suspicious of him. Norton had attempted to enter Hideaway with a hidden weapon, which didn’t look so good, and they had discovered him with Kiru, which must have appeared even worse.

But he was confident that everything would be cleared up. Only the guilty had anything to fear, and Wayne Norton was completely innocent.

Yeah, he was.

“This isn’t everywhere. This isn’t anywhere.” Kiru glanced around, which only took a split second. “I didn’t mean to get you into this mess, James. All I wanted was to get out of one.”

She was a criminal, a space pirate. He couldn’t believe a word she said, shouldn’t trust a thing she did. It was because of her that he was trapped. She was trapped with him, of course, and she was also naked and gorgeous and…

Norton tried to ignore her, which was almost impossible. The room was so tiny, his body was always touching her nude, soft, warm, supple flesh. He focused his attention on the black box.

“Why,” he asked, “did the pirates come to Hideaway?”

“Maybe they were looking for treasure. How should I know?”

“Because you’re one of them.”

“I’m not! Would Grawl have tried to robotomise me if I was?”

“The spook squad who arrested us thought you were a pirate.”

“And they thought you were one!”

“Only because I was associating with you.”

“Associating? Is that what they called it in your day?”

“Yeah. Mixing with a known criminal. You.”

“I came to Hideaway with the pirates, but I wasn’t one of them.”

“You admit you were with them?”

“On the same ship. But you know what it’s like, you can’t choose who you sit next to on a long flight. I didn’t want to be mixed up with space pirates, so I had to pretend I was on Hideaway before they arrived.”

“With me as your alibi?”

“Yes.”

“So I could have been anyone? You chose a room at random, broke in, and threatened the occupant, who happened to be me.”

“Lucky you. It’s true what they say: Everyone’s a winner on Hideaway.”

“For every winner, there’s a loser.”

“What have you lost, James?”

“My clothes, my freedom.” Norton held up his right hand to start counting, then realised that wasn’t a good way of demonstrating.

“Your finger. Can’t blame me for that. Or your clothes. What else have you lost? Your virginity. Okay, I apologise.”

“And what have you lost? Nothing. Not even your clothes. You didn’t have any.”

“I’ve lost nothing, but I’ve found you. You’re my treasure. My buried treasure! I’m so glad they dug you up.”

“Why should I believe you? You’re using me.”

“I wouldn’t use just anyone. What do you think I am?”

“A space pirate.”

“How can I convince you?” It was Kiru’s turn to raise her hand, as if swearing an oath. “I am not now, neither have I ever been, a space pirate.”

Norton wanted to believe her. He met her gaze. Her eyes were so open, so honest, so limpid, so perfect.

“Believe me,” she said, “I’m not a pirate.”

He believed her. His instincts would never have allowed him to associate with a criminal. He leaned forward to kiss her.

“I’m an escaped convict,” she said.

“What?”

She silenced him with a kiss.

“No!” He moved back as far as he could, which wasn’t very far.

“I’m still the same girl, James. Don’t pretend you’re not interested. I can see the evidence with my own eyes.”

“Evidence? I bet you know all about evidence!”

“I’m going to tell you a story. My story. If you don’t want to listen, then leave.”

She told him. He listened. Because he couldn’t leave.

“… and then the worst thing in my whole sad, rotten, miserable life happened,” Kiru concluded, “I met you.”

Norton had to admit that Kiru’s autobiography was sad, rotten, miserable. If it was true.

“Look at it this way,” he said, “things can only get better.”

“Or, if I look at it this way—” she twisted her body until she was upside down, her feet braced on the curved ceiling—“you certainly look better.”

It was Norton’s job to be suspicious, and he knew he should never trust a dame, but Kiru’s story had mesmerised his mind. Now she was hypnotising his body with her superb physique.

It was Kiru who had finally warmed him up after his frozen voyage through time. Having slept so long, he’d never fully awoken. Until now. It was as if he’d been sleepwalking, letting others run his life.

Not anymore.

After all that had happened since arriving on Hideaway, Norton should have been exhausted. He felt tired, but his mind was totally alert for the first time in centuries. From now on, he resolved, no outsider would control him.

“Oh,” said Norton, losing his resolution as he looked at her, “no.”

“Oh,” said Kiru, as she looked at part of him, “yes.”

“We can’t.”

“We can.”

“How? There’s not enough space.”

“I’ll show you,” said Kiru, and she did.

“Shhhh,” said Kiru, putting a finger to her lips.

“Why, am I boring you?” said Norton, who was narrating his biography.

“Shhhh,” repeated Kiru, and this time she put a finger to his lips. “You hear anything?”

Norton shook his head.