Arthur Clarke - Rama Revealed

“What did the Eagle say to you?” Max asked Nicole.

“The same thing he said to the twenty other people in the lounge who were asking the same question,” Nicole replied. “No changes are possible for those who have been assigned to the Carrier. Reconsideration will only be given to those scheduled for transfer to the Node.”

“Was that when Nai… uh, broke down?” Eponine asked.

“Yes,” Nicole said. “Until then she had held herself together fairly well. When she initially came over to our apartment, after the lists had been shown for the first time, I thought she was remarkably calm. She obviously must have convinced herself initially that Galileo’s assignment was some kind of clerical mistake.”

“I can understand how she must feel,” Eponine said. “I’ll admit that my heart skipped a few beats until I saw that all the rest of us were together on the list to be transferred to the Node.”

“I bet that Nai is not the only one upset by the assignments,” Max said. He stood up and started to walk around the room. “This is really a mess,” he said, shaking his head. “What in the world would we have done if Marius had been assigned to the Carrier?”

“That’s easy,” Eponine answered quickly. “You and I would both have applied to go with our son.”

“Yep,” said Max after a momentary pause. “I suspect you’re right.”

“That’s what Patrick and Nai are now discussing next door,” Nicole said. “They asked the young people to leave so they could talk in private.”

“Do you think Nai can handle all this additional stress so soon after the… incident?” Eponine asked.

“She really has no choice,” Max said. “They only have a couple more hours to make a decision.”

“She seemed much better to me twenty minutes ago,” Nicole said. “The light sedative had definitely taken effect. Both Patrick and Kepler were being very gentle with her. I think Nai frightened herself most of all with her outburst.”

“Did she actually attack the Eagle?” Eponine asked.

“No. One of the blockheads restrained her immediately when she screamed,” Nicole said. “But she was out of control-she might have done anything.”

“Shit,” said Max, “if you had told me while we were living in the Emerald City that Nai even had the capacity for violence, I would have told you—”

“Only someone who has been a parent,” Nicole interrupted, “can possibly understand the powerful feelings that a mother has where her children are concerned. Nai has been frustrated for months. I can’t condone her reaction, but I can certainly understand—”

Nicole stopped. The knock on the door repeated. Patrick entered the room a few seconds later. His face betrayed his anxiety. “Mother,” he said, “I need to talk to you.”

“Eponine and I can go out in the hallway,” Max said. “If that would help.”

“Thanks, Max. Yes, I would appreciate it,” Patrick said with difficulty. Nicole had never seen him so upset.

“I don’t know what to do,” Patrick said as soon as he was alone with Nicole. “Everything is happening so fast. I don’t think Nai is being rational, but I don’t seem to be able…” His voice trailed off. “Mother, she wants us all to apply for reconsideration. Everyone. You, me, Kepler, Maria, Max… all of us. She says otherwise Galileo will feel abandoned.”

Nicole looked at her son. He was close to tears. He hadn’t had enough life to deal with a crisis like this, she thought quickly. He’s only been awake for a little more than ten years.

“What is Nai doing now?” Nicole said softly.

“She’s meditating,” Patrick answered. “She said it would calm and heal her spirit… and give her strength.”

“And are you supposed to convince the rest of us?”

“Yes, I guess. But Mother, Nai has not even considered that anyone might not agree with what she is proposing. She believes that what we should all do is absolutely clear.”

Patrick’s pain was obvious. Nicole wished that she could reach out, touch him, and make his agony go away. “What do you think we should do?” Nicole asked after a period of silence.

“I don’t know,” Patrick said, starting to pace around the room. “Like everyone else, I noticed as soon as the list was posted that all the active Council members were being transferred to the Carrier, as well as most of the humans who had been removed from the normal living quarters. The people we like and respect, as well as almost all the octo-spiders except some of the alternates, are going to the Node. But I sympathize with Nai. She can’t bear the thought that Galileo will be isolated, permanently cut off from the only support system he has ever known.”

What would you do, a voice inside Nicole’s head asked her, if you were Nai? Didn’t you panic earlier today when you were afraid that you might be separated from Benjy?

“Will you talk to her, Mother,” Patrick entreated, “as soon as she has finished meditating? She will listen to you. Nai has always said how much she respects your wisdom.”

“And is there anything particular that you want me to say to her?” Nicole asked.

“Tell her…” Patrick said, wringing his hands, “tell her it’s not her place to decide what would be best for everyone in our group. She should focus on her own decision.”

“That’s good advice,” Nicole said. She gazed at her son. “Tell me, Patrick,” she said several seconds later, “have you decided what you are going to do if Nai switches to the Carrier and none of the rest of us do?”

“Yes, I have, Mother,” Patrick said quietly. “I will go with Nai and Galileo.”

Nicole parked her wheelchair in a corner in front of the observation window. She was alone, as she had requested. The afternoon had been so emotional that she felt completely drained. Nicole had thought initially that her meeting with Nai had gone quite well. Nai had listened carefully to Nicole’s advice, without much comment. Nicole had therefore been quite astonished an hour later when Nai, seething with anger, had confronted her along with Max, Eponine, and Ellie.

“Patrick tells me that none of you are going to come with us,” Nai had said. “Now I see what rewards I have earned for my steadfast devotion all these years. I dragged my twin boys away from their own home out of loyalty to you, my friends, deprived Galileo and Kepler of ever knowing a normal childhood because of my respect and admiration for you, Nicole, my role model. And now, when for once I ask a favor…”

“You’re being unfair, Nai,” Ellie had said softly. “We all love you and are appalled at the thought of being separated permanently from you and Galileo. Believe me, if it weren’t so clear that the Node is preferable for all of us—”

“Ellie, Ellie,” Nai had said, dropping on her knees beside her friend and bursting into tears. “Have you forgotten all the hours I spent with Benjy out in Avalon? Yes, I admit that I did it of my own volition, but would I have given so much of myself to Benjy if he was not your brother and you were not my best friend? I love you, Ellie. I need your support. Please, please come with us. You and Nikki, at least.”

Ellie had also wept. Before the confrontation was over, there was not a dry eye in the room. In the end Nai had apologized profusely to everyone.

Nicole took a deep breath and stared out the window. She knew that she needed a break from all the emotional turmoil. Twice during the afternoon she had felt twinges of pain in her chest. Even all those magical probes, she thought, cannot protect me if I do not take care of myself.

The huge Carrier was now stationed only several hundred meters away. It was an awesome engineering construction, far larger even than it had seemed when it was over by the Node. The spacecraft was parked sideways, so only a part of it could be seen from the window. The top of the Carrier was a long flat plane broken only by small, scattered equipment complexes and the transparent domes-or bubbles, as they had originally been called-that were located in an orderly pattern throughout the length and breadth of the plane. Some of the domes were quite large. One, directly in front of the window, rose over two hundred meters above the flat plane. Other domes were very small. Parts of eleven of the transparent bubbles were visible from the observation window. During the approach of the Carrier earlier in the afternoon, when the entire spacecraft could be seen, a total of seventy-eight domes had been counted.