So there I am, face to face with the enemy. With this woman whom I have no doubt will help bring about the destruction of my species. I’m lookin’ into those blue eyes, just waitin’ for her to make the first move. Believe you me, I just about jumped outta my soul when she parted those pouty lips of those and said in this calm, even tone: “You’ve been watching me.”
The flavor of the savory juices in the meat still clung to Ocean’s mouth. She’d chased it down with enough water that her throat no longer felt as though it were coated in finely ground glass. She’d felt guilty, drinking that much, but every time the cup she shared with Gauge was emptied, either he or Corduroy would refill it from a large, plastic bottle.
Her stomach felt as though it were three times the size it had been only hours earlier. At first there had been cramps… little jabs of pain that felt like someone was sliding a knife between her abdominals. But she had eaten her way through them, dissolving those sharp pangs with flavor and succulence.
After eating, Pebble had curled up on one of the large cushions and was making the glass monkey hop along the hills and valleys of the fabric. Levi went to check in on the baby, and Corduroy remained seated at the table, following Ocean with his good eye. There was something about the man which made him slightly different than the others. During dinner, she’d been shocked to see that his plate was piled with pale potatoes, carrots, and little green balls that she’d never had before… but none of the steaming roast with its trickles of clear juices. Who the hell doesn’t eat meat? she’d wondered as she shoved another bite into her mouth.
The thought made her uneasy for reasons she couldn’t understand. At first she tried to tell herself that it was simply his appearance but, in reality, Ocean knew it wasn’t his burnt and twisted face or the way he barely passed as human. She had grown so accustomed to such things that, in the world she had always known, the other three would have been looked upon as the freaks. With their shiny, flowing hair and unblemished flesh, they would have stood out among the diseased and starving.
No, it wasn’t the scars, but rather something about the way he looked at her. As if his eye were constantly sizing her up…
Gauge, on the other hand, seemed to delight in showing Ocean around her new home. His eyes twinkled like clusters of stars as he showed her the room that had been cut into the earth, which he called the kitchen, and then explained how a large metal box had been shoved into the hearth to cook their meat.
“But it gets so hot that you can also fry stuff on top of it. Have you ever had an egg, Ocean?”
“Once… “ She remembered her father finding the nest in the limbs of a tree. He’d shimmied up the narrow trunk and when he returned, held this little oval in his hand that was as blue as the sky on a cloudless day. He’d told her to tilt her head back and open her mouth. When she did, he tapped the shell lightly against a rock. The contents inside had slid into her throat and she remembered him smiling down at her as the yellow goo oozed out of the cracked shell.
“It tasted kind of funny,” she continued. “It was kind of slimy and Daddy didn’t have to give me it all. He coulda just gave me a little taste and saved some for himself like Mama always does.”
Mama. Dead and alone, mouth hanging open as the flies had their revenge.
“Well, you’ve never had them the way Corduroy makes them. Actually, you probably won’t even know you’re eating the same thing. I’ll show you the cages where we keep the pigeons in a bit. I think you’ll like them, sweetie.”
Sweetie . A single word chased away the tightness that had bound her chest when the image of her mother materialized in her imagination. Sweetie .
She felt light and airy, like a cloud that had drifted far into the sky. As she looked up at Gauge, her whole body seemed to sigh and that strange sensation was in her stomach again. Almost like a tickle, but from the inside.
She wanted to say something, to say anything , but the words had fled from her mind. She could only look at that wavy dark hair, the stubble covering the dimpled chin, and grin to the point that it felt as if her face would split open.
“Umm… you got something… “ Gauge bared his teeth and tapped on them with his fingernail. “Right there.”
Ocean’s tongue subconsciously passed over the sliver of meat that was stuck between the gaps of her teeth.
“I know… I’m saving it for later.”
Gauge’s laughter was rich and deep, its echoes seeming to mock Ocean as they repeated into infinity. She felt her face flush and her smile melt away. Somehow, she felt smaller now, as if she were shrinking and would continue doing so until she was so small that the scrap of food in her mouth would crush her like a toppled building.
Then Gauge placed his hand on her cheek, his palm was warm and rough. The touch light but carrying a sort of charge that made it feel like her heart would momentarily stop beating.
“Ocean, honey… you don’t have to do that anymore. You’re with us, now. Come on. Let me show you something.”
He led her by the hand, back into the large room where they had eaten and guided her to the other side. Standing before a dark hole in the wall, Gauge looked into her eyes for what could have been a few seconds or an eternity before speaking again.”We call this Heaven .”
Pulling a candle from the rickety table that sat beside the opening, Gauge led her into the darkness beyond.
Ocean gasped as she stepped into the room, her jaw dropped open as if she were back on the street, hunting flies. She spun in a slow circle, her eyes wide and round. For some reason, she felt as dizzy as if she’d whirled around as quickly as her feet could pivot.
“What… where… how… “
Gauge laughed again as she struggled for words. This time the sound seemed so hazy and distant that embarrassment would never be able to find her. Ocean pressed her hands against the side of her face, blinking rapidly, as if she could somehow steady reality.
In the flickering orange glow of the candle, walls of cans were revealed. They were stacked atop one another from the floor to the ceiling, and formed long rows with just enough space between for someone to walk. A lot of them were nothing more than silver cylinders, but some still had yellowed labels wrapped around them. Some of the pictures she recognized from childhood; yellow kernels of corn, orange disks of carrots, mounds of spherical peas. But others were strange to her, there was something that looked like the moss-like strands that covered the bottoms of stagnant pools. Something else that looked almost like little white brains. And there was even some that had pictures of dogs on the labels.
“I… I never knew you could get dog in a can…”
Gauge chuckled and shook his head slowly. “No, sweetie, it’s not dog in the can… you have a lot to learn, my dear.”
She pulled her eyes away from the cache long enough to glance at the tall man beside her. “Where… where did you get so much ?”
Gauge sighed and closed his eyes as he rubbed the bridge of his nose between pinched fingers. “Do you remember the Food Wars, Ocean?”
“Not much. I was pretty small back then. Bits and pieces…”
Gauge put his hands on her shoulders and turned her gently so that she was looking directly at him again.”Okay, a little history lesson then. When people realized that things just weren’t going to go back to the way they were before, we got scared. I wasn’t much older than you back then, but I remember everything. People fighting in the streets over a single tin of tuna. Bashing each other’s heads with rocks. Stabbings. Beatings.”
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