Nancy Kress - Nothing Human

“Lab time,” Hannah said.

“Yes,” Pete agreed. “You will alter a bacteria today.”

Jon blurted, “We’re going to do genetic engineering?”

“Yes, of course,” Pete said, surprised again.

“Bonus!” Jason said. “Can I engineer a porno goddess?”

“Like you could do it without giving her three tits,” Sam said.

“That’d be okay!”

Rebecca said, “I’m not touching that stuff. Bacteria! How do you know it isn’t dangerous?”

“Nothing is dangerous,” Pam said earnestly. “And if an error occurs, Pete and I will rebuild it.”

“Rebuild Rafe, then,” Jason said. “Make him taller than a third-grader.”

“Ha ha,” Rafe said, from the front of the room.

“Let’s begin,” Pam said.

It was the strangest lesson Lillie had ever had. Images formed in her mind; Emily and Rafe explained them as well as they could; Pete and Pam instantly learned the vocal terminology from them and explained further. Some images were pictures to remember, and to her surprise Lillie found that now she remembered them easily, without even taking notes. Some images were instructions on how to use the gene-building equipment, and she remembered those, too. The four girls at her table worked together all day, and it felt good.

Sajelle, Lillie realized with amusement, hadn’t even needed to read anything.

They discussed it all at dinner, another incredible meal. “They did something to our minds,” Jon said. “This time I’m sure.”

Rebecca stopped eating. “What do you mean, ‘did something to our minds’?”

“I don’t like school much,” Jon said. “And there’s no way I’d do biology all day like that unless I was on something. They put some gas in the room, I bet. So we’d like learning genetics.”

Madison considered this. “If they did… does it matter? Isn’t it just like… I don’t know… using fizzies to get a little higher jump for a dance routine?”

Sam snorted. “That’s probably the only thing you did use fizzies for in your milk-cum school.”

Mike, logical, said, “The difference, Madison, is that you chose to use fizzies for dance. This was done without our choice. If it was done at all.”

Lillie remembered how contentedly she’d worked for hours and hours at something that didn’t ordinarily interest her. And now she remembered everything she’d learned. “It was done to us, Mike.”

He nodded. “You’re probably right.”

By now the whole table had stopped eating to listen. Jessica said, “Nobody’s going to fuck with my mind! Tomorrow they can just crawl up their own asses. I’m not going back.”

“Me either,” Sophie said.

A motion at the end of the table caught Lillie’s eye. Elizabeth swayed, her face grotesquely distorted. She looked like she was in the worst imaginable pain. A minute later she fainted, crashing off her chair.

Someone screamed. Rafe said importantly, “Let me by! I know CPR!” But Elizabeth didn’t need CPR. She revived almost instantly. As she pulled herself off the floor, her limp long hair swung over her face, hiding it, but not before Lillie saw the return of Elizabeth’s anguish and her eyes fill with tears. The pain wasn’t physical; Elizabeth jumped up and ran out of the commons toward her room.

“Fucking nuts,” Sam said.

“Why should she mind having her mind manipulated?” Rebecca said. “It already is by that so-called religion of hers.”

“Naw. Four-eyes just can’t stand to feel good.”

“Feeling good might feel seeexxxxyyyy.”

“A sin! God will punish her!”

“That’s enough, you morons,” Madison said.

People resumed eating, except for a foul-mouthed group at Sam’s end of the table who went on riffing about Elizabeth. Madison scowled at them. Julie seemed close to tears.

Lillie put another forkful of spiced carrots in her mouth. It wasn’t that Elizabeth minded feeling good. Elizabeth was caught. If she went to class, she’d voluntarily give her mind over to forces of the devil. If she didn’t go, she couldn’t learn to “undo” the genetic engineering the forces of the devil had already done to her. God wanted her to go to class; it was a sin against God to go to class. Never mind that none of this was true; Elizabeth believed it was true. And was filled with horror and pain.

Lillie felt sorry for Elizabeth. But she didn’t go after her. She couldn’t think of anything to say.

After dinner everybody except Elizabeth went to the garden, their favorite spot. Lillie was surprised when Mike dropped beside her on the grass. “Lillie, I want to ask you something.”

She felt herself color. “Yeah?”

He said, “Remember yesterday? We left Quantico in the middle of the night, and everybody was too excited to sleep, so we got a tour of the Flyer and we see our rooms and everything. Then all of a sudden we’re being taken to eat dinner, see the garden, and lights out for night. What happened to all the hours of that night and day in between arriving and dinner?”

Lillie was confused. “I don’t know. I guess we slept. Yes, we did… I woke up in my bed just before we ate dinner.”

“But do you remember going to sleep in your bed?”

“Well, I… no. I don’t. But I must have.”

“Or we were put to sleep.”

Slowly Lillie nodded.

“Well,” Mike said, getting up awkwardly, “I just thought I’d ask.” He strolled off toward the basketball court.

Despite herself, Lillie watched him go. He had a nice body. Not as tall as Jason or Jon, a little pudgy in the middle maybe, but nice.

Madison and Rebecca came over. Lillie bent over, pretending to look for four-leaf clovers in the grass so they wouldn’t see her blushing.

The next day, everyone was in class right after breakfast, including Jessica, Sophie, and Elizabeth. And the day after that, and the day after that. It took Lillie by surprise to realize that weeks were sliding by.

Three weeks. Four. Seven. Ten. How could it have been ten weeks already? Lillie meant to ask Pam or Pete when they were going back down to Earth. She needed to see… who? Oh, Uncle Keith! Of course! She would ask tomorrow.

Tomorrow came, and somehow she forgot.

Twelve weeks. Fourteen. She forgot to keep track.

Each day was exactly the same as the others. Shower, breakfast, class all day, dinner. Evenings in the garden having fun. Pam was teaching three girls plus Rafe to genetically engineer flowers. Games had materialized, after being requested and described: Chess. Cards. Chinese checkers. Hannah had brought a music-cube with her, programmed with hit songs. Her favorite was “Don’t Matter None to Me,” by Printer Scream, and she played it over and over in the “cafe.” Basketball remained popular. It was hard to say what they all did, exactly, in the garden every evening, but the time passed and it was all fun. There were arguments but no fights. Even Sam, the bully, and Jessica, the bitch, didn’t cause too much trouble.

Lillie hung around mostly with Madison and Sajelle. Sajelle’s older sister, fifteen, had already had a baby.

“Last year,” she told them matter-of-facfly. “My mother really mad. She wanted Dee to finish high school, get herself a decent job. But Dee and Ty… you know. And the baby so darling! You should see her.”

“What’s her name?” Madison asked, not quite able to hide her disapproval.

“Kezia.” Sajelle frowned. “You know… I miss her, but I…” She searched for words, didn’t find them, let her hands fall helplessly into her lap.

You miss her but you don’t miss her, Lillie said silently. She knew. She still couldn’t remember Jenny’s face.