Nancy Kress - Nothing Human

“So what are you going to do about it?” Madison demanded. “Walk out into space?”

“Not going to do anything about it, just not go. Are you always such a good little follower, Maddy?”

“Don’t call me that. It’s not my name, Jess-sick.”

“I’ll call you what I want, bitch.”

Lillie sat up. “Stop it, Jessica. We can’t fight. We might need each other.”

“For what?” Jessica jeered, but she didn’t answer Madison. Sajelle said, “I don’t want to go to no school, neither.”

“Why not?” Lillie said. Sajelle wasn’t usually nasty.

“Just don’t want to.”

Lillie considered Sajelle. She knew Sajelle had come from what Uncle Keith called “a tough neighborhood.” Uncle Keith… she had hardly thought about him at all, hardly missed him. Was that right? Again the nagging doubt tugged at her mind, the same that had bothered her when she realized she couldn’t picture any of the kids that had died in the bombing.

Jessica said, “Sajelle doesn’t want to be bothered with school because she’s too busy missing DeWayne.”

“You shut up, bitch!”

“Come on, Sajelle. You know you and DeWayne were getting it on back at Andrews.”

Sajelle swung on Jessica, who ducked expertly. Instantly Lillie scrambled to her knees and thrust herself between them. “Stop it! We can’t afford to fight!”

“Little Mother Superior. You’re as bad as Elizabeth,” Jessica said, rose to her feet, and strolled toward the basketball court, where all the boys except Rafe, plus Bonnie Carson, had organized a game.

“She’s bad news,” Madison said. “I don’t know why the pribir engineered her.”

“They didn’t engineer her personality,” Lillie said. “Not any of our personalities or intelligence or stuff like that. We’re too different.”

“You can say that again.” Madison stood and stretched. “Sajelle, it’s none of my business, but were you getting it on with DeWayne?”

“You right. It’s none of your business.”

Madison didn’t look offended. “Well, I want a shower before dinner. Anybody coming?”

“Not yet,” Lillie said.

When Madison had gone, Lillie looked at Sajelle. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Sajelle, but why don’t you want to go to school here? Jessica’s just being an asshole, but not you.”

“Just don’t want to.”

“You went at Andrews.”

“That different.”

“How?”

“Just was.”

Lillie knew she was pushing, but something told her Sajelle did want to talk. Sajelle just didn’t want to look like she was willing.

“What classes were you in at Andrews? We didn’t have any together.”

“‘Course not!” Sajelle said with sudden energy.

“What do you mean? If you want to talk, I don’t blab.”

“I know you don’t.”

“Then what did you mean, of course we didn’t have any classes together?”

“Didn’t have classes with nobody. They give me a private tutor.” Sajelle stared at the grass.

Suddenly Lillie saw it. She said gently, “It’s your old school, isn’t it? It was probably… not too strong academically. So you’re a little bit behind.”

Sajelle looked up. Lillie was startled by the despair in her brown eyes. “Not that. Derek, he go to school in Harlem and he keep up with the rest of you. It be me.”

“What?” Lillie said quietly.

“Something in my brain. I can’t hardly even read!”

Dyslexia. Karen, her old best friend Jenny’s little sister, had it. Jenny—why didn’t Lillie ever think about Jenny any more?

“The tutor help me a lot,” Sajelle said, calmer now. “It start to make sense. But this Pam and Pete… they aliens. They can’t help me. And I going to look like an ass in front of everybody.”

“They’re not really aliens,” Lillie said, because she couldn’t think what else to say. “They’re as human as we are, only more advanced. Maybe you could talk to them about this.”

Sajelle snorted. “Would you?”

“No,” Lillie had to admit.

Sajelle looked at her. “You honest, Lillie. And you nice. But you not the one going to look stupid tomorrow in front of that bitch Jessica.”

“Actually, we’re probably all going to look stupid next to Rafe and Emily. They’re really brains.”

“Huh,” Sajelle snorted. She got to her feet and gazed toward the basketball court. Jessica had joined the game.

“She talk about me getting it on. Look at her… she going after that sorry ass Sam. That ‘ho ain’t going to be sleeping alone. Well, she do what she want. Me, too, and I ain’t going to no school.”

Sajelle walked off across the grass. Lillie lay back down again, troubled. What would Pam or Pete do if Sajelle and Jessica, or anybody else, just refused to go to the school room? Would they force them? How?

She thought about this for a while, then raised herself on her elbow to watch the basketball. Jessica was going after Sam. Bonnie played like the boys, but Jessica was wrecking the game by “accidentally” falling against Sam and wiggling. Ugh. Why would anybody, even Jessica, want Sam?

And would they really have sex?

God, Jessica was only thirteen, same as Lillie. Lillie had let a boy kiss her once, and at dances they sort of pressed up against each other, but that was all. Did that make her backward? How many of these other girls were virgins?

Well, Elizabeth for sure, she thought, and cheered up. Imagine Elizabeth… No, don’t. Julie, too, she was too shy to do anything. Madison? Probably. Sex would mess up her hair.

Grinning, Lillie stood up, brushed the sweet-smelling grass off her jeans, and went to join a group of girls inspecting the flower beds.

The next morning, after a breakfast as delicious as dinner the night before, Lillie headed for the school room. She had slept amazingly well, without dreams. Nobody had talked much at breakfast. Nervous, maybe. Lillie was.

She was the second one in the school room. Elizabeth had beaten her there and now sat hunched at the table in the farthest corner. Suddenly Lillie felt sorry for Elizabeth. Everybody harassed her. Well, she was such a dork… but even so. It must hurt. She walked over and sat down next to Elizabeth.

“Good morning, Elizabeth.”

“Good morning,” she said, sounding startled.

“I wonder what these ‘lessons’ will be like, don’t you?”

Behind her thick glasses Elizabeth’s eyes darkened. “If they’re about genetics, they’re tampering with God’s plan.”

Lillie should have sat someplace else. “Elizabeth, if you feel that way, why on Earth did you come? Why didn’t you stay back at Quantico?”

Elizabeth set her bottom lip stubbornly. “I didn’t ask to be made this way. It wasn’t my choice. Now God wants me to do everything I can to undo the violation done to me.”

“Undo it? How?”

“That’s what I have to learn. God wants me to do this.” She really was crazy, Lillie decided. Lillie rose. “Well, nice talking to you.”

“You’re here for the same reason,” Elizabeth said. “I’ve watched you.”

“What?”

“You sometimes look… you’re no more like these others than I am. You want something more than this world. I watch your face sometimes when they’re talking about sex or basketball or some superficial thing like that, and I see the longing for more. You’re like me.”

“Not in a million years,” Lillie said, and stalked off. God, she shouldn’t let Elizabeth get to her like that. The girl was nuts.

It scared her that Elizabeth had seen that about her.

Madison and Emily came in together. “Lillie!” Madison called. “Sit with us!”