Leo Frankowski - Copernick's Rebellion

These girls, thought Guibedo. As soon as you’ve got them figured out, you’re wrong!

Liebchen smiled and wiggled her hoofs happily on the carpet.

“I’m glad that you volunteered for this mission, Jack. If you hadn’t, I’d have to order you to go,” General Hastings said.

“I had that feeling, General.”

“It’s just that you’re the best field agent I have.”

“The best that you have left, you mean.”

“Breckenridge and Thompson were good men. But you will have some advantages that they didn’t. For one thing, you will have completely discretionary powers. Do you understand?” Hastings asked.

“Sure. I’m not allowed to kill anybody unless I want to.”

“Crudely put, but accurate. Also, your mission is not simply to spy. You are to seek out Heinrich Coper-nick and/or Martin Guibedo. We believe that they are in Death Valley. You are to find out as much as possible about their bioengineering techniques, then eliminate them. Arrest them if possible. Kill them if necessary. And in no event will you allow yourself to be captured.”

“You mean ‘captured alive.’ Okay. What about my modus operandi?”

“That is completely at your own discretion. You may sign for any materials and money that you feel appropriate,” Hastings said.

“Lovely. I’ve always hoped for orders like this.”

“This is the most important mission of your life. It is also the most dangerous.”

“What about the reporting procedure?”

“There isn’t one. It is quite possible that we have been infiltrated. Once you walk out of that door, you’re on your own.”

“Suits. See you in a few weeks, General.”

Patricia Cambridge stretched luxuriously between satin sheets on the huge bed. Her whole body tingled with a new awareness of itself. She never would have believed that the world could be so enchanting, that sex could be so totally satisfying.

“If you’re finally awake, Patty, come on in. The water’s fine!” Martin Guibedo called from the pool at the far end of the bedroom. Liebchen was sudsing down his pudgy body.

“Oh, Dr. Guibedo! Will Liebchen wash me, too? She’s got to be the prettiest thing your nephew ever made!”

“She is and she will, and please call me Martin.”

“After last night, I should call you lover!” Patricia splashed into the pool and swam over to them.

“Hooh! Nobody ever call me that before. I like it!”

They collided with exuberance and laughter near the center of the pool.

After having washed and dried and dressed her masters, Liebchen pranced through the branch to the kitchen. The water running off the blond fur on her legs left hoofprints on the carpet. “Two masters to serve, Dirk!” She giggled to the Labor and Defense Unit in the living room. “Isn’t it wonderful!”

Dirk raised his eye tentacles from the book of Oriental philosophy he was reading. “It is pleasant to see our Lord Guibedo happy. We owe him so much.”

After the usual excellent breakfast, Guibedo said, “Patty, it’s good to have you here for a bunch of reasons. For one thing, we got a fourth for pinochle.”

The CCU I/O unit on the kitchen wall said, “My Lord Guibedo, Lord Copernick requests your presence at his tree house.”

“Telephone, tell him I’m going to take a couple days off this morning. I see him maybe Tuesday.”

“He said it was important, my lord. My Central Coordination Unit has compiled some critical information.”

“So what’s the information? You’re the same animal, aren’t you?”

“I am, my lord, but I didn’t tell me what it was.”

“Some coordination you got there. Tuesday!” Guibedo turned away from the telephone. “Hey, Dirk! Bring some cards. With you here, Patty, we can play two teams, you and Liebchen against me and Dirk, so they gotta play fair. With playing three-hand cutthroat, they let me all the time win.”

“Never, my lord,” Dirk said, a pinochle deck in his hand. His lateral tentacles were holding a book in front of his starboard eyes.

“Ach! You know, Patty, Dirk never used to lie until he started into philosophy. Dirk, what are you reading now?”

“The Shih Ching, my lord,” Dirk said, shuffling and dealing, “a poetry anthology commonly said to have been edited by Confucious.”

“Twenty-one!” Patty said. “Martin, how can Dirk read and play cards at the same time?” She still didn’t feel comfortable around the LDU.

“He’s got six pairs of brains, Patty. Heiny made him so he could figure strategy, tactics, and where he was putting his foot all at the same time. So right now, one chunk of him is reading, another chunk is playing cards, some other chunk better be keeping score, and part of him is probably gabbing with his brothers. Twenty-two.”

“Gabbing?” Patty said. “How?”

“They’re telepathic with each other,” Guibedo said, “not with you and me. Your bid, Liebchen.”

“Oh, pass! Dirk, pull in your eyes. You’re cheating again.”

Dirk retracted his yard long eye tentacles, turned a page of the book, and said, “Twenty-four.”

“Twenty-five. Martin, if you have practical telepathy, what do you need with the telephone?”

“Thirty. Telepathy has only got one channel, Patty. We humans only use it for emergencies, and this isn’t one of them.”

“I’m afraid it is, Uncle Martin,” Dirk said in Heinrich Copernick’s voice. “Please get over here as soon as you can.”

“But I wanted to show Patty around town this morning, Heiny. And I got a run and five aces and Dirk just gave me meld bid!”

“So play the hand later. Say, how about if I ask Mona to show Patty around, Uncle Martin? It’ll give the girls a chance to get acquainted.”

“Ach! Heiny, it better be good,” Guibedo said. “You gonna like Mona. Patty, we get together later on. I’ll call you.”

“How? I mean, if I’m going to be out all day—”

“The telephone knows where you’re at.”

“My mother doesn’t know where I am. Can I make a few calls?”

“It’s your house, too, Patty. If you call outside the valley, they get a telegram. Come on, Dirk, we go the low way,” Guibedo said, leaving.

Liebchen started cleaning up the kitchen, putting the cards away in four neat stacks and only peeking a little bit.