Orson Card - Maps in a Mirror - The Short Fiction of Orson Scott Card

“Not how I really fit?”

Joe shrugged. “How can I know? How can I measure it? I discover the stories that you believe most secretly, the stories that control your acts. But the very telling of the story changes the way you believe. Moves some things into the open, changes who you are. I undo my work by doing it.”

“Then undo your work with me, and tell me the truth.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m in your story.”

Alvin spoke then more honestly than he ever meant to. “Then for God’s sake tell me the story, because I don’t know who the hell you are.”

Joe walked back to his chair and sat down. “I am Goneril and Regan, because you made me act out the lie that you needed to hear. I am Oedipus, because you pinned my ankles together and left me exposed on the hillside to save your own future.”

“I have loved you more than life.”

“You were always afraid of me, Father. Like Lear, afraid that I wouldn’t care for you when I was still vigorous and you were enfeebled by age. Like Laios, terrified that my power would overshadow you. So you took control; you put me out of my place.”

“I gave years to educating you—”

“Educating me in order to make me forever your shadow, your student. When the only thing that I really loved was the one thing that would free me from you—all the stories.”

“Damnable stupid fictions.”

“No more stupid than the fiction you believe. Your story of little cells and DNA, your story that there is such a thing as reality that can be objectively perceived. God, what an idea, to see with inhuman eyes, without interpretation. That’s exactly how stones see, without interpretation, because without interpretation there isn’t any sight.”

“I think I know that much at least,” Alvin said, trying to feel as contemptuous as he sounded. “I never said I was objective.”

“Scientific was the word. What could be verified was scientific. That was all that you would ever let me study, what could be verified. The trouble is, Father, that nothing in the world that matters at all is verifiable. What makes us who we are is forever tenuous, fragile, the web of a spider eaten and remade every day. I can never see out of your eyes. Yet I can never see any other way than through the eyes of every storyteller who ever taught me how to see. That was what you did to me, Father. You forbade me to hear any storyteller but you. It was your reality I had to surrender to. Your fiction I had to believe.”

Alvin felt his past slipping out from under him. “If I had know those games of make-believe were so important to you, I wouldn’t have—”

“You knew they were that important to me,” Joe said coldly. “Why else would you have bothered to forbid me? But my mother dipped me into the water, all but my heel, and I got all the power you tried to keep from me. You see, Mother was not Griselde. She wouldn’t kill her children for her husband’s sake. When you exiled me, you exiled her. We lived the stories together as long as we were free.”

“What do you mean?”

“Until you came home to teach me. We were free until then. We acted out all the stories that we could. Without you.”

It conjured for Alvin the ridiculous image of Connie playing Goldilocks and the Three Bears day after day for years. He laughed in spite of himself, laughed sharply, for only a moment.

Joe took the laugh all wrong. Or perhaps took it exactly right. He took his father by the wrist and gripped him so tightly that Alvin grew afraid. Joe was stronger than Alvin had thought. “Grendel feels the touch of Beowulf on his hand,” Joe whispered, “and he thinks, Perhaps I should have stayed at home tonight. Perhaps I am not hungry after all.”

Alvin tried for a moment to pull his arm away but could not. What have I done to you, Joe? he shouted inside himself. Then he relaxed his arm and surrendered to the tale. “Tell me my story from the cards,” he said. “Please.”

Without letting go of his father’s arm, Joe began. “You are Lear, and your kingdom is great. Your whole life is shaped so that you will live forever in stone, in memory. Your dream is to create life. You thought I would be such life, as malleable as the little worlds you make from DNA. But from the moment I was born you were afraid of me. I couldn’t be taken apart and recombined like all your little animals. And you were afraid that I would steal the swords from your sepulchre. You were afraid that you would live on as Joseph Bevis’s father, instead of me forever being Alvin Bevis’s son.”

“I was jealous of my child,” said Alvin, trying to sound skeptical.

“Like the father rat that devours his babies because he knows that someday they will challenge his supremacy, yes. It’s the oldest pattern in the world, a tale older than teeth.”

“Go on, this is quite fascinating.” I refuse to care.

“All the storytellers know how this tale ends. Every time a father tries to change the future by controlling his children, it ends the same. Either the children lie, like Goneril and Regan, and pretend to be what he made them, or the children tell the truth, like Cordelia, and the father casts them out. I tried to tell the truth, but then together Mother and I lied to you. It was so much easier, and it kept me alive. She was Grim the Fisher, and she saved me alive.”

Iocaste and Laios and Oedipus. “I see where this is going,” Alvin said. “I thought you were bright enough not to believe in that Freudian nonsense about the Oedipus complex.”

“Freud thought he was telling the story of all mankind when he was only telling his own. Just because the story of Oedipus isn’t true for everyone doesn’t mean that it isn’t true for me. But don’t worry, Father. I don’t have to kill you in the forest in order to take possession of your throne.”

“I’m not worried.” It was a lie. It was a truthful understatement.

“Laios died only because he would not let his son pass along the road.”

“Pass along any road you please.”

“And I am the Devil. You and Mother were in Eden until I came. Because of me you were cast out. And now you’re in hell.”

“How neatly it all fits.”

“For you to achieve your dream, you had to kill me with your story. When I lay there with your blades in my back, only then could you be sure that your sepulchre was safe. When you exiled me in a boat I could not live in, only then could you be safe, you thought. But I am the Horn Child, and the boat bore me quickly across the sea to my true kingdom.”

“This isn’t anything coming from the computer,” said Alvin. “This is just you being a normal resentful teenager. Just a phase that everyone goes through.”

Joe’s grip on Alvin’s arm only tightened. “I didn’t die, I didn’t wither, I have my power now, and you’re not safe. Your house is broken, and you and Mother are being thrown from it to your destruction, and you know it. Why did you come to me, except that you knew you were being destroyed?”

Again Alvin tried to find a way to fend off Joe’s story with ridicule. This time he could not. Joe had pierced through shield and armor and cloven him, neck to heart. “In the name of God, Joe, how do we end it all?” He barely kept from shouting.

Joe relaxed his grip on Alvin’s arm at last. The blood began to flow again, painfully; Alvin fancied he could measure it passing through his calibrated arteries.

“Two ways,” said Joe. “There is one way you can save yourself.”

Alvin looked at the cards on the screen. “Exile.”

“Just leave. Just go away for a while. Let us alone for a while. Let me pass you by, stop trying to rule, stop trying to force your story on me, and then after a while we can see what’s changed.”