Richard Russo - Ship of Fools

“You are a coward, Michel.” The bishop’s voice was laced with contempt. “We are not leaving that ship. We are certainly not going to destroy it. I doubt we could.” He turned away from Michel, who was obviously stung by the bishop’s words. “I understand Toller’s reasoning,” the bishop continued, “and I concur. However, I would offer an alternative. I have suggested this before, and I suggest it again. I propose the Church take over the exploration of the alien starship. Divine guidance would indeed be a different approach, and wouldn’t necessitate putting an accused traitor in charge.”

This time the vote was much closer—Toller, Cardenas, Geller, and Nikos all voting to formally put me in charge; the bishop, Costino, and Hingen all voting against. Michel Tournier abstained in protest. The bishop did, however, succeed in attaching an eight-week time limit to my authority. The Executive Council would then vote again.

I watched the bishop, trying to gauge his feelings, but he managed to keep his demeanor composed. I decided to make a peace offering of sorts, although I wasn’t sure he would see it that way.

“Do you want a church representative on the exploration team?” I asked him. “I would gladly accept such an arrangement.”

The bishop hesitated before replying; I could sense the whirring of his thoughts. “I suppose you would want Father Veronica.”

“After our experiences together on Antioch, I would welcome her assistance. But I would welcome anyone you would like to accompany the team, as long as he or she is willing.”

The bishop nodded. “Unfortunately, Father Veronica is unavailable. However, one of our clerics, Eric Casterman, has expressed an interest in the alien vessel. He will accompany you.”

I couldn’t object, so I let it go and moved on. “One last thing,” I said. “The earlier vote, to drop the charges against me and the others. No exceptions were noted, so I assume that includes Pär Lundkvist as well.”

From the long silence, I could see I had raised an awkward subject. I was glad.

“Pär was not arrested with you and the others,” Aiyana finally said. “He couldn’t be found. From your question, I presume you already know that.”

“Yes.”

“We don’t believe he is on the ship anymore. We believe he took one of the shuttles and escaped to Antioch.”

“But if he is on the ship?” I asked.

“Do you have such knowledge?” the bishop asked.

I shook my head. There were glances and shrugs; the bishop continued to study me, probably not believing my denial. Finally Nikos spoke.

“As you said, no exceptions were mentioned during the vote. As distasteful as I would find it, I would say the agreement applied to Pär Lundkvist as well.” He paused. “Unless there are objections, if he is on the Argonos , he will remain a free man.”

There were no objections, at least none were raised, and with that the emergency session concluded. Afterwards, Nikos did not say a word to me.

PÄRwas waiting for me in my quarters. He was sitting in a chair in the front room, rubbing at his eyes; my entrance had awakened him.

“How did you get in?” I asked.

He grinned. “I learned a lot about this ship during my exile. I’ve been waiting a long time.”

I was annoyed with him. I had been more than grateful for the regular deliveries of his coffee all those months I was imprisoned, but that seemed washed away by his violating the privacy of my quarters. I stood unmoving, staring at him. As though reading my thoughts, he got to his feet and said, “I shouldn’t have done it this way. Sorry. I’ll go.”

I shook my head, my annoyance already fading, overwhelmed by exhaustion and the fear of losing one of the few friends I had.

“Forget it,” I said. “It doesn’t matter.” I gave him a tired smile. “I’m glad to see you. Unfortunately, I can’t offer you anything to eat or drink. The food system isn’t working, and the shelves are empty.”

“That’s all right,” he said, reaching behind the chair he’d been sitting in when I first entered. “I came prepared.” He held up a thermal pot. “All you have to provide are cups.”

We sat with the pot between us, and I sipped the coffee; just as good as always.

“That meant a lot to me,” I said, holding up my cup. “I was surprised you were willing to take the risk.”

Pär shrugged. “So was I, to be honest.” He shrugged again. “Extreme circumstances… I don’t know.”

I cocked my head at him, his presence finally sinking in. I felt stupid for not realizing it earlier. “Have you already heard?” I asked.

“About the charges being dropped?” he replied, grinning.

“Yes.”

He nodded.

“Who the hell is your source of information?”

Still grinning, Pär shook his head. “Not even for you, Bartolomeo.” He paused, and breathed deeply. “I also hear you’re in charge of exploring the alien starship.”

“Yes.”

“I want to be a part of it.”

I stared hard at him. He was serious, as serious as I had ever seen him. “Why?” I asked.

“I did a lot of thinking while I was in hiding. Lots of time for it. I am sick to death of life on this ship. Look at us. You and I are a couple of freaks. But the reality is, this entire ship is filled with freaks. We don’t know how to live normal human lives anymore. Living from birth to death inside this hunk of metal is unnatural, and I think it’s done unnatural things to us.”

I was reminded of my first extended conversation with Father Veronica, during which she’d said something very similar.

“And how is the alien ship going to help that?”

“Hell, I don’t know. But it’s something different, and I mean really different. Whatever happens out there, good or bad or something in between, it doesn’t matter, it’s got to do something for us, got to change us. We had a chance for something on Antioch. It didn’t work out. All right. Now we’ve got another chance. An alien starship or whatever it is. Truly alien. I don’t think people understand the enormity of what we’ve found, of what we have ahead of us, of the possibilities. I’ve been thinking about it a lot during the last few weeks, and sometimes I feel like my mind is going to explode. But the Executive Committee seems to be treating it like… I don’t know, like we’re exploring the ruins of some small abandoned colony on a nice risk-free, habitable world somewhere.” He shook his head in disbelief. “That ship could swallow us whole, and it might just do that for all we know. We could find the answers to cosmological mysteries, we could find out what our place is in the universe, we could find the way to eternal life.”

“We could find our deaths,” I said.

“That, too,” he replied, nodding. “And I don’t think we have a sense of that on this ship anymore. I suspect that’s something we would all benefit from.”

My exoskeleton vibrated, and I wanted to scream. Damn Nikos. I decided I would have to see one of the neuro-techs to have the system disabled.

“I want on that ship, Bartolomeo. I need it.”

I nodded. “I don’t know how much authority I’ll have, but I’ll do what I can. If I can get you on, I will.”

“Thanks.”

He poured us fresh coffee, leaned back in the chair, and let out a sigh.

“What was it like?” I asked him.

“What? Hiding out?” When I nodded, he smiled and said, “Enlightening. What was prison like?”

“Boring.”

Pär laughed.

The exoskeleton vibrated again, and I cursed.

“What?” Pär asked.

I explained.

“How the hell did Captain Nikos talk you into that?” he asked.