Kristi Helvig: Burn Out

Soldiers that would owe him their lives.

“So you never intended to give them the guns then?” I asked Kale.

He smirked, clearly feeling the effects of Markus’ drink. “No, ma’am. I intended to collect payment and then use the guns to take those burners out. Finding out that only you could fire them put a small wrench in the plan, but I’m used to overcoming obstacles.” He made eye contact with James.

I might as well have a neon light across my head flashing the word obstacle . I tried to catch Markus’ eyes, but they were off in a distant, painful place. He had to pick now to turn into a human being with feelings? It would have helped me more if he’d stayed an asshole—and sober—just a bit longer. I didn’t have a gun or my Infinity. I rubbed the empty spot on my wrist where the Infinity used to be. I needed help. Even Alec seemed drunk and barely able to keep his eyes open.

Kale banged his hand on the table in front of Markus. “Soldier, you’re not lookin’ so good. Maybe you should get yourself some shut-eye.”

Markus rose unsteadily to his feet. I attempted to help him, but he shook me off. “I’m f-f-fine. I got it. Just need some time to sleep off this nightmare.” He made an attempt to look at me through heavy-lidded eyes. “Get me if you need me. I’m”—he tripped a little—“here for you.” Markus stumbled out of the room and down the hall.

Alec’s head tipped forward and his chin touched his chest. He seemed to be mumbling but lifted his head with great effort. “I’m beat too. Tora, you can crash with us.” Except his words slurred together and sounded more like torayoucancrashwithus.

My heart sank. I wanted to kick myself because it had taken me so long to realize that they were drugged. Kale must have added something special to that last batch from the flask. I hadn’t noticed that he’d stopped drinking.

“Wait, Alec,” I called, playing along like he was just drunk. I brought Lucy to him. “Here, take Lucy with you. She needs some sleep too.” I ran my hand through her fur one last time. I’d miss the dog most of all. I stood and whispered in Alec’s ear. “Lock your door.” Though I was hatch bound, at least maybe Lucy would be safe for another day.

Alec attempted to look at me, but his eyes remained cloudy and unfocused. “Okay.”

Lucy turned and licked my hand before trotting off behind Alec’s staggering body. Alec and Markus would sleep through Armageddon tonight. No screams, cries, or even explosions would permeate their stupor. They would wake tomorrow, likely with a headache from hell, and wonder what happened.

I could already hear Kale’s explanation for my absence: Tora was more broken up about what was in that journal than we thought. Remember how upset she got? She must have thrown herself out the hatch . Then Kale would read aloud from the journal and nod sympathetically. Oh, see here, she killed her sister and her mother committed suicide. No wonder she killed herself . My stomach lurched, because it was actually believable. I’d thought of overdosing too—it was the first time I’d thought of the meds as a means of suicide rather than simply a practical way to avoid burning to death.

Kale must have been thinking along the same lines. “So, it’s just the three of us now.” He stood, clearly not as drunk as he’d seemed a few minutes ago. “I’d like to have a look at that satchel of yours, Tora.”

Here we go. My eyes darted to James. It would be so easy. Hand over the bag and let them shoot me. It would be over within minutes, and I wouldn’t have to deal with these burners or this crap world ever again. But my hand tightened on the bag. My dad’s voice filtered through my head. What’s it gonna be, Tora—die or die trying? His voice told me that it wasn’t my fault they died, that I had a responsibility to live for all of them.

I took a small step away from Kale and James. “No.” It wasn’t a great option, because it’s not like I had a lot of places to go. My only choice would be to go back deeper into the ship.

James stood and folded his arms. “Maybe you misunderstood the commander. It wasn’t a request, it was an order.”

The coldness in his voice shook my resolve.

Remember who you are . There was Dad’s voice again, reminding me that I was the only one who could stop the guns from being used for mass destruction. I thought of Markus and Alec, and realized I still had people in this world I could trust.

I took another step backward, trying to control the shaking in my legs. “My answer is still the same. Hell, no.”

“Last chance.” James spoke in a low, hostile voice. He pulled his weapon from his waistband and trained his gun on me. Seriously? The boy who had touched my ribs like they were the most fragile thing on Earth must have been a figment of my imagination. It’s a shame I wouldn’t live long enough to win the worst-judge-of-character award.

My first instinct was to cry—the second one was to run. I went with the second and took off in a zigzag pattern down the hall.

“I’ll get her,” James yelled and lasers bounced off the walls around me.

I tore down the ship’s corridors, looking for a place to hide. Kale’s ship was nowhere near as large as the Consulate ship. This was officially the worst game of hide-and-seek I’d ever played.

I thought of my family as I leapt through a doorway and ran faster than I had in my life. It was amazing how athletic I became when death was on the line. Still, I was no match for James. Footsteps pounded behind me, closing in. If I continued going straight, I’d end up at the end of the ship and I’d be trapped. I veered down a smaller hallway to my left and looked to my right.

Several doors were open. I picked one in the middle and jumped inside. I wedged myself between the open door and the wall, hoping that if he turned on the light, he’d think the room was empty. My throat and chest burned from the exertion. I tried to calm myself and not dwell on the fact that the person chasing me was James. Footsteps raced by at a distance and I figured he’d taken a different hallway.

I sagged against the wall. If only it were my sister looking for me, and not someone who made my stomach flutter despite the fact that he wanted me dead. Someone who didn’t care about anyone other than himself.

The footsteps circled back, slower now, more deliberate. They grew louder as they neared my hiding spot. Trying not to make noise, I slid my hand inside the satchel, unzipped the inner compartment, and gripped T.O. I might not be able to save the new planet from the Consulate, but there was still a chance I could keep my father’s guns out of the equation. No wonder he regretted creating something that only brought destruction. I couldn’t remember anyone describing what a great time they had on the receiving end of a gun.

The footsteps stopped in the hallway outside the door. I couldn’t tell if the rapid breathing I heard was mine or his, as I pulled T.O. out of the bag. The light turned on. My heart skidded in my chest as James stepped through and swung the door shut behind him. An involuntary gasp caused him to swivel around and face me. The twinge of relief I felt at his being alone was erased when he raised my own gun at me. I sucked in my breath. He held B.K. in his hands like he owned it.

“Move out here in the center of the room.”

I moved but held T.O. in front of me like a sword.

“Is your com system on, James?” At least if it was on, I’d understand a little better why he was doing this.

“No, I told Kale I would do the job but that you deserved a private death. Consider this a favor, because he wanted to kill you himself, and he’d have done it using the hatch.”