Andrea Höst: The Touchstone Trilogy

And I’m going to send Mum these diaries.

I’ve been keeping them up out of habit, rather than out of that need to talk that it helped with early on, and nothing could explain more clearly to Mum just why I’m staying. We’ll be together every time she reads them, and she too can come to love First Squad, and Kaoren, and four children who were alone and frightened, and are so happy to belong.

I’ll still have my log record of the diaries, so I can read them to Kaoren, and look back over how much everything has changed. At all the people I’ve been since I walked home from school. Survivor. Stray. Lab Rat. Caddy. Assignment. Love. Weapon. Spy. Celebrity. Maker of dragons. Machine component. Saver of worlds. Mum.

And, soon, uni student.

I’m hoping to beat Ys there, though she’s sure to go excel in sciences, while I’m thinking of a vague selection in the Arts: Literature. Mythology. Archaeology. Learning this world’s stories so that it continues to become mine, and then maybe bringing some of my world’s stories to Muina.

And one day I am going to figure out a way for the rest of my family to become Muinans as well. Till then, I hope words will cross galaxies for me.

Letter

Dear Mum (and Dad and Jules and Aunties and Nick and Alyssa and everyone)

I am here, not there, and that’s now a choice that I’ve made. I’m no longer trying to get home, because this has become home. I hate that it’s an either/or choice, and that there’s no way to visit. I miss so many things, but I’m happy here now, and unless I was sure I could get back here, I can’t risk even trying for a quick visit. I’m hoping for a yearly letter, at least.

I’m glad you had the chance to see Kaoren when you last saw me. He and I have been engaged nearly four months now. I think you might like him. The wedding’s scheduled for six weeks after my twentieth birthday. The long wait was initially because of legal requirements and is pretty meaningless, since we live together already, and are working on plans for getting a house built. And we have four children!

They’re orphans, and kind of adopted us, and we’re going through the process of formally adopting them in return. Ys is the oldest (we think). She, Lira and Rye are all around eleven. Sen is four. They’re really great kids, and far less bratty than I ever was. I’m not really Mum to them, but I feel very parental, and I think we’ve built up some trust. Fretting over them makes me want to hit myself for all the times I was a complete bitch to you.

It’s been a very dramatic year for me, on top of ending up here in the first place. I guess you could say I’ve been gainfully employed, and Kaoren and I are well settled for money, so I’m not having to stress about day-to-day stuff. It was very hard to adjust at first, particularly because I had to learn a new language, and I was just so outside everything. But some very nice people took me under their wing and it was a bit like gaining six older brothers and sisters, and I’ve developed an extended family of people who look out for me.

I’m hoping that one day it’ll be easier to get between here and there and it would be great if you could come here. I’ve enclosed a bunch of photos of me and the kids and some of the people who are important to me and the place where our house will be. I had to get my hair cut really short and hate it and hope it grows back quickly.

I love you. I should have said it a thousand times. Miss you always.

Always.

Cass.

The End

Agowla- The (fictional) high school Cass attended in Sydney.

AI- Artificial Intelligence.

Arenrhon- Settlement at site of underground installation of the Lantarens.

Aspro- Aspirin. Headache relief.

Atanra- A facility constructed near to the Muinan rift into deep-space. The word means passage .

Authoritah- This is an indication that Cassandra has watched South Park , and not a typo.

Aversan- The old Muinan name for the platform town discovered in her month on Muina (initially called Goralath by the Tarens).

Beanie- A close-fitting knitted hat.

Breaking, The- A Taren term for the disaster which shattered the spaces.

Buckley’s chance- Buckley was a convict in Australia who escaped and survived by living with Australian Aborigines. The phrase means "nearly impossible".

Café Crescent- Pandora’s first café.

Carche Landing- The main airport in Unara.

Casszilla- Rawr!

Caves of Nonora - A Taren children’s story, where Til, Magara and Nosk discover an entrance to the kingdom of the Tarull, deep below Unara.

Channa- A rocky planet inhabited by ex-Muinans living a nomadic tribal life. Tare has established a mine on Channa in an area of land isolated from the inhabitants.

Chapstick- Lip moisturiser.

Chune - One of the ships KOTIS uses to travel between Tare, Kolar and Muina.

Copped a Serve- Received a barrage of anger.

Council of Tare- The Lahanti (mayors) of the cities of Tare.

Cruzatch- A dangerous humanoid Ionoth, shadow burning white.

Dazenti- Swarming phasic Ionoth: capable of passing through walls.

Ddura- An enormous energy being created by the Lantarens.

Deep-space- The large portion of the Ena which exists between the memory spaces . It is white in appearance, and filled with gates which open directly to real-space worlds.

Deep-space Ionoth- Ionoth which are formed and dwell not in the relatively small Spaces, but instead in Deep-space.

Delar- A Taren measurement unit – roughly 75 centimetres.

Despawn- Disappear, vanish. Taken from computer games where a monster is said to spawn when it appears in the game world, and despawn when it disappears (usually after being killed).

Diodel - One of the ships KOTIS uses to travel between Tare, Kolar and Muina.

Do Not Go Gentle- "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night", a poem by Dylan Thomas.

Dohl Array- A series of underwater farms on Tare.

Drone- An advanced robot, usually used for scanning and monitoring.

Drop Bears- Important Tourist Advisory: Please wear protective head gear when walking beneath gum trees in Australia.

Ena- A dimension connected to the thoughts, memories, dreams and imagination of living beings.

Ena manipulation- A psychic talent which can change the substance of the Ena, particularly in stabilising gates between spaces. It can also be used in a limited way to change reality .

Expecto Patronum - Looks like Cass has read Harry Potter .

Escort quest- A mission in an online game involving protection of a non-player character while they travel.

Faer- The Senior Captain in the Taren entertainment The Hidden War. Played by Eyle Sured.

Fahr- Kolaren treacle tea.

Falazen- A platform town ruled by border collies.

Fan service- Revealing or provocative shots of characters in anime/manga.

Fanfic- Fiction based on the stories of others and/or fiction involving a person of whom the writer is a fan.