Dorsai - The Second Generation

Neither one of us ever used any names, but I kinda think that she knew that I was talking about you. Anyway, she asked me if I needed some time to think about it, and I told her that I already had, a lot. She asked if I wanted her to make an appointment for me with her doctor, and after I thought about it a little, I told her yes. When she asked if I had any time in mind, I told her that anything would be fine. She seemed to like that, and said that she'd make the appointment for me the next time she went, in a couple of weeks; I said that was okay, and thanked her. She said she was glad I was being careful and thinking about it, and told me she loved me again, and that was the end of it." "It sound like it worked out okay, then" I said Sis nodded her head and told me "It did. I was kind of nervous and embarrassed at first, but Mom didn't say or do anything except help me find out what I wanted to know, and let me know that if I was really sure I was ready, then it was okay. I don't think she's really happy about it, but I don't think she's mad or disappointed, either. I expect she's going to talk to Dad about it, but I don't figure he would actually say anything." While not real comfortable about the idea that Mom and Dad might know that I was the one Sis wanted to give her virginity to, it didn't really bother me that much, either: there wasn't a doubt in my mind that both of them loved both of us, and that as long as we were being careful and thoughtful about what we were doing, they were willing to let us be as independent and mature up as we were capable of handling. It wasn't until later in life that I realized that what Sis and I were going through then was the acid test of everything Mom and Dad had done when they were raising us: encouraging us to come to them when we needed advice, helping us find the answers to the questions we had, and doing everything they could to teach us to be thoughtful and responsible -" and then holding us accountable for our actions, regardless. Sis had decided she was ready to lose her virginity; she thought things through, and asked for help and advice when she needed it. That I was the one she'd decided to partner with didn't matter, except that both of us were being careful, and that we loved each other as much as we did. That we were still shy of 15 years old was irrelevant: we were demonstrating that we were being mature and prudent about it, and that was what really mattered. Sis leaned forward to lay her head on my shoulder, and I put my arms around her, giving her a hug before I told her "I love you, Sis. And just so you know, I'm not in any hurry to make love with you; not until you're really sure, and really ready. Even if it never happens, that's okay with me, because I love you and want you to be happy." After hugging me back, she said "I know you love me, Danny, and I love you the same way. But I am sure that I want to share myself with you like that. I know there's no hurry, but I do want it to happen, and with you." There wasn't anything for me to say to that, really, so I contented myself with simply holding her close, just as she seemed satisfied to be held.

Sis let me know when Mom had set up the doctors appointment for her, so I was home and waiting to hear how things had gone when Sis got home afterwards. The two of us went out in the back yard and sat in the swinging bench while she told me what happened. She started by telling me "When we got there, I kind of felt out of place. I mean, I was the youngest person in the waiting room. But Mom acted like it was perfectly normal for me to be there, so I just sat there and looked at a magazine like everyone else was. When it was my turn, the nurse was showed us back to one of the examination rooms, and told me that she knew it was my first time there, and that I didn't have to worry about anything. After she left, Mom told me what usually happens when she goes in for an exam. It sounded kinda scary, and uncomfortable, but Mom explained that gynecological exams were part of being a healthy female. A few minutes later, the doctor came in, and she was real nice. She asked me some questions like whether my periods were regular, if they gave me any trouble, and stuff like that before she told me that she would be giving me just a very basic exam before talking to me about birth control. She also said that it was up to me if I wanted Mom in the room, or a nurse -" but before then, she just wanted to talk to me a few minutes. I said that was fine, and she asked Mom if it could be just the two of us. Mom said it was okay, and went out of the room. Then the doctor told me that Mom had said I wanted to come in about birth control, and that she -" the doctor, I mean -" wanted to make sure that I was getting it because I wanted to, not because anybody was trying to 'push' me or anything. I told her that it really was my idea, and that nobody was doing anything to make me do it; and that I just wanted to be sure that I couldn't get pregnant before I started having sex. Then she asked me if I was the one that had the questions that had Mom call her about. I said that I was, and she said it sounded like I was being pretty grown up if I was thinking about things like that." Sis took my hand as we sat there slowly swinging and said "When she was done talking, she asked if I wanted Mom or a nurse, and I said that Mom was fine. She smiled, and went to the door to let Mom know she could come in again. Then the doctor told both of us what she'd be doing for my exam, and showed us some different kinds of IUDs and the little tools she had to put them in with. While she was doing that, she showed us a diagram of how hymens looked sometimes, and which one I'd have to have and about how big the hole in it would have to be if I wanted an IUD. It was actually kind of interesting, but a little scary too, looking at the tools she'd have to use to put one in." "Anyway, once she was done, she asked me again if I really wanted to see if I could have an IUD. I said I did, and she said that I'd need to take my skirt and panties off and put on one of those hospital gowns. I said that I understood, and she said I should go ahead -" that she'd be back in a couple of minutes." "After she left, I was surprised when Mom went over and stood in a corner, facing away from me, so that I could do what the doctor said. When I was done, I sat down on the exam table, and Mom came over to sit next to it and hold my hand.

It was just a couple of minutes later when the doctor came in again. She had me lie down and put my feet up in these kind of stirrups that were on the table before hanging these little paper curtains around me. That left me wide open to her, and I started to feel embarrassed, but the doctor told me that she had to do the same thing when SHE got an exam, and understood that although it wasn't real comfortable or dignified, it really was the best and easiest way for her to do her job. Somehow, that made it easier for me, and it helped even more when Mom gave my hand a little squeeze.

Then she sat down in a chair and moved to where she could see between my legs. I felt her pull me open a little bit, and I knew that she was looking inside me. I could see what she was doing because of all the little curtains around my legs, but I could feel her doing some thing to me. None of it hurt, but it was a little uncomfortable." "She was only between my legs for a few minutes before she moved back and pulled one of the paper sheets down to cover me. Then she came around to where I could see her, and told me that I looked to be as healthy and normal as anybody could want. I asked her about my hymen, and she told me that mine was like most everyone elses -" just the one hole in it, pretty much in the middle.

She said that even though I was as young as I am, she thought that she could get an IUD into me. She also said that it was pretty close, though, and that it might hurt a little bit. Then she said it was up to us -" mostly me, she said -" to decide if I wanted her to try, or if I just wanted to use birth control pills. I looked at Mom, and she just said 'It's your body, dear, so it's up to you. I'm here for you, whichever one you decide.' I asked the doctor what would happen if it turned out that she couldn't get the IUD into me, and she said that she definitely wasn't going to force things: that if it turned out that the hole wasn't big enough, then she'd just quit, and not hurt me. I thought about it for a little bit, and finally told her that I wanted to try. She smiled, and said that was fine." Taking a deep breath, Sis went on "The doctor took the cover off a little tray she'd brought in, and showed me the IUD -" she called it a 'device' -" she thought would be best. Of course, I didn't have any idea why that one was better than anything else she'd shown us, and just told her that it was fine. She put the little tray on a rolling cart and rolled it with her back between my legs again. She lifted the little paper curtain, and I felt her start doing stuff again. I'm not sure what it was, but she used some kind of tool to hold me open so she could see inside. I heard her doing some stuff, then she told me that she was going to try to put the device in, and that I should try to relax. I really wanted to have it work, so I did the best I could. I felt it when she started using the stuff she'd shown us; it was uncomfortable at first, but I could pretty much ignore that part. It did hurt a little bit for a few seconds, and I guess I made a little noise because she told me 'I'm sorry, Janet -" there just isn't any other way for me to do that, but it's over now. Just give me another minute or so, and I'll be all done.' I was so happy to hear that it worked that I didn't mind when it hurt again a little bit later, right before she moved back and put the curtain between my legs again." "When she'd moved the little cart out of the way and put the tray of stuff on the counter again, she closed my robe and took all the curtains down before she came up to my head and told me that everything had gone fine: she'd been able to get through my hymen and to my cervix easily. The pain I'd felt had been when she'd had to open the entrance to my uterus so she could actually put the device in me; the other pain had been when she'd pulled the insertion tool back out. Then she reminded me that the device would only work at keeping me from getting pregnant -" that it was up to ME to make sure that I didn't catch something else like a disease or AIDS or something. Finally, she told me that while I could start having sex any time, it would be best if I waited until after the end of my next period, and that I might feel a little sore for the next day or two." "Mom and I both thanked her, and she just smiled and said that she was glad she could help -" that she'd much rather have a girl come in to see about birth control before she started having sex, than have a pregnant teenager in the waiting room. Then she told me that if I wanted to lay there and rest for a few minutes before I got dressed, that was fine. I thanked her again, and she left, taking the tray of stuff with her. I still felt a little sore and told Mom I'd like to lay there for a little bit. She squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek before she told me that was fine. A little bit later, I said I was ready to go, and Mom went over to stand in the corner again as I got dressed." Taking my hand in both of hers, Sis told me "On the way back, I was really surprised when Mom told me that she was proud of me, and glad that I came to her like I did. I didn't say anything, but she explained to me that she was proud of me for taking the time to really think about it before I started having sex, and glad that I wasn't too afraid or embarrassed to come to her. I said that I was glad, too, and she said that when I got older and had children of my own, I'd understand when she told me that she'd had mixed emotions when I'd come to her. Finally, she told me that she knew I'd want my first time to be special, and that she'd do what she could to see to it that I had plenty of time, so I wouldn't be rushed." I have to admit that I was more than a little surprised by that last part -" and had to say "It sounds to me like Mom, and probably Dad, already know that I'M the one you want to make love with first." "What do you mean, Danny?" "Think about it, Sis: why else do you think Mom would say that to you, about trying to see that you had plenty of time? How could she try to do that if she didn't figure it was going to be us, instead of you and someone else? You know how Mom and Dad are -" if Mom thought you were going to be with some other guy, she probably would have said she'd try to get you the time or something less certain than she did. But to say she'd do what she could? That sounds pretty solid and definite to me, and you know Mom or Dad neither one would say anything like that unless they were pretty sure." She just sat there and looked at me for several seconds before quietly saying "I think you're right. I'll bet they do know." A few moments later, she added "But I don't think it really matters to them, Danny." "Why not?" I had to ask. "Because they are Mom and Dad. You know as well as I do that any time they though we were thinking about doing something that would get us in trouble when we were younger, one or the other of them would say or do something to let us know they were on to us. Do you really think they'd have let things get this far if they really objected? I mean, it was dad that saw us together in bed that time; and when he and Mom had that talk with us, they said we could keep doing stuff together. And it was you that reminded me what Mom said about coming to them before we started having sex. I didn't figure they meant it that way at the time, but they did keep mentioning us having sex; I figured they just meant us, individually, not us together. But if they did mean us together, then that explains why neither of them has said anything to us about not making love with each other!" What she was saying made a lot of sense. Something popped into my mind, and I quickly told Sis "I think you're right. And I'll bet that that's why Mom didn't ask you who you were thinking about making love to first: she already figured it was me, and just wanted to let you feel like you had some privacy." She just blinked at me a couple of times before nodding her head in acceptance and saying "I'd bet that was it, too", followed a few moments later with "So what do we do?" I thought the answer to that was pretty obvious, and said "Who says we have to do anything? It sure looks clear to me that Mom and Dad almost certainly know that it would be us together when you're ready; and if that's the case, then both of us know that one or both of them would say something to us if they really had a problem with it. Instead, Mom not only answered the questions you had about birth control, but actually took you to the doctor so you could get started." Something else came to me, and I added "Remember when they had that talk with us after Dad found us? They said that they weren't going to encourage us, but that if we got to this point on our own, they'd understand. They sure haven't encouraged us, but we still got here, and I think they're doing just what they said they would: understanding, and letting it happen because they know that because of how much we love each other, we'll be careful and take our time to do it right for each other." "I think you're right, Danny", Sis told me, though there still seemed to be something on her mind. It took me only a second to realize what it might be, and I quickly told her "Sis, if Mom and Dad really know that you wanted us to be together the first time, I can understand that you might not like it. I mean, I kind of feel like we've lost some of our privacy, too. So if you decide that you don't want to, or that you just don't want it to be with ME, then I can understand and accept it. As much as I'd like to be able to make love with you that way, it's more important to me that you're happy. I hope you won't forget that if Mom and Dad really know, then you can count on Mom to keep her word about making sure we have lots of time so that we don't have to hurry. But whatever you decide, I'll accept it, and not try to change your mind." Sis looked at me for several seconds before she said "Well, that's for later, I think. I mean, I just got started with the birth control today, and the doctor said I should probably wait until after my next period -" so that's at least a month and a half, right there." Nothing for me to do or say except "Of course, Sis. I told you, whatever you decide, I'll be fine.