Felix Salten - The Memoirs of Josephine Mutzenbacher

Zenzi grabbed a glass and hurled it after him, shouting: “You miserable cur!” The glass struck the door and fell into pieces.

Zenzi cried; “He is the only one that I love-the rowdy! I will never let him poke me again!” Astonished, I asked: “But how about Rudolph?” “Oh, please, don't mention his name!” “But you must love Rudolph. You do all that he wants you to do for him.”

“With Rudolph it is different. He is old enough to be my father! And furthermore-I do not love him,” she said. “Yes, but you tell Rudolph that he 'does it' best of all,” I said. “What doesn't one say when one has a shaft stuck into her? What haven't I heard you tell your father when he was on top of you and you were about to 'go off?” she answered. I said: “That is true!” “I have been with Rudolph eight years,” she said. “Why, you are only fifteen now,” I replied. “Yes, that is just it. My mother was his sweetheart, and, when she died of consumption, I was left. He took me with him.”

“As his sweetheart?” I asked. “No; at first I slept on the floor in his room. I was thankful because I was afraid of the Orphan Asylum.” “But why?” “I don't know. Mother always was crying while she was in the hospital-If I die, my poor child will have to go to the Orphan Asylum'.” “Where did you stay while your mother was in the hospital?” “With Rudolph. Mother lived with him before she got sick.” “And your father?” “I don't remember him; I was only two years old when he died.” We sat on the couch, still naked. Zenzi seemed to be quieted down and also relieved that she could unburden her troubles and at the same time confide in me.

Continuing her story, she said: “Rudolph promised mother on her death bed that he would always look after me. So, for several months I slept on the floor. Rudolph slept in the bed. Finally he told me to get into bed with him, saying: It is not necessary for you to sleep on the floor any more.' When I got into bed with him, he raised my shirt and played with my 'kitten,' fondling me all over.” “Did you like that?” I asked. “Oh, yes! You know that I liked it. I knew what it meant. I had often heard him and my mother 'doing the same thing' during the night.” “That's very much like my own situation,” I observed. “The first night he did nothing but fondle me,” Zenzi went on, ignoring my comment. “The next night he had me play with his shaft. At that time he told me: “Zenzi, now you are my sweetheart. But you must not tell anybody. I will always take good care of you.'

“I was pleased at this. I felt proud that I already had a sweetheart. And I was happy that I was to be provided for, because, even as a child, I often had gone hungry. Moreover, I was afraid to sleep on the floor alone after mother was gone, but I was not afraid any more when I slept with Rudolph. I would have done anything that he wanted. “Even if it were distasteful?” I asked. “Certainly. I was afraid that he would throw me out and that the police would take me to the Orphan Asylum where the children had to kneel on hard peas and pray all the time.” “Of course,” I said, “it is far better to have a nice warm bed to sleep in and a nice warm shaft in your hand!”

“Or in your belly-ha, ha, ha!” said Zenzi. “Well, I don't think that you got 'it' in your belly right away, did you?” I asked.

“No, not right away; at first Rudolph just put his tool in my hand, saying: This is what a man puts into a woman.'“ “'In where did you say he puts it?”” I asked. “In there-!' he said, and showed me where the heavenly 'carpenter' had placed my opening.”

“He certainly was a good teacher!” I said. “Oh, yes,” she answered, “he was a good teacher!” “These are the eggs,” he said, putting them in my hand, “and from here you squirt into the woman's belly and from that she gets a child!” I said: “I was not so enlightened at first, but learned it all later on.” Zenzi continued; “After he had explained to me all about poking, he got on top of me and did the job; that is, he rubbed his shaft on the outside, explaining that he could not get it in until I had grown a little older and that he just wanted to show me how it was done.”

“And from that he 'went off' himself?” I asked. “Oh, no! He only 'went off when he did it from behind!” “In your rectum. I know.” “In your rectum?” asked Zenzi. “But it can't be done that way, can it?” “It can't, eh? Three years ago Mr. Horak poked me that way and 'went off three times.” “But didn't that hurt you terribly?” “Oh, yes, at first. But after it was all in it didn't hurt any more!” “I must try it sometime,” said Zenzi. “But that is not necessary now. You can take it in front,” I said. “At that time Rudolph only pushed it between my thighs,” she went on.

“Oh, I know. You squeezed your thighs together and he pushed through them between your buttocks-is that it?” “Yes, yes, just so! “And then, did he squirt?” “Yes, and also when I took his shaft in my mouth!” “What? You did that, too?” “Yes. It was hard at first! I vomited several times. But I soon got used to it.” “And did you swallow it?” “Sometimes; you always swallow a little.” “And did he do the same thing to your “kitten'?” “Sometimes. For hours he would lay with his face between my legs, licking and sucking and saying: I am doing this so you will have a little pleasure, too!'“ “And how did you feel?”

“I was all done up, it felt so good!” “I know it-it is good! I wish that we had someone here right now to do it to the both of us!”

“Yes-so do I!” We were now playing with each other. We could not hold back any longer, so we lay down. She was “fingering” me, and I did the same for her until we both “went off!” Being directly satisfied, for the present we sat up; then I begged her to go on with her story. “See my breasts-how big they are?” she said. “Well, Rudolph says that that is the result of so much poking. When I was only nine years old they had begun to develop, and hair was already growing on my little “kitten'.” “And did anybody else poke you besides Rudolph?” “Oh, yes. Rudolph told me that if anybody touched me or coaxed me, I should just be careful so no harm would come to me and to be sure that nobody saw me.” “And did he allow you to go with others at the time?” “Oh, yes. He said that I could stay with older men, but that if he caught me with little boys he would kill me!” “I do not understand.” “Well, Rudolph said: 'You may let men do it, but you must be paid for it; if a man just feels of your 'kitten' he must pay for the privilege. Only death comes without pay.' Now, you see why I always like to stay with Rudolph. He is so wise. You can ask him anything and he will tell you all about it.” “Why did he let my father poke you?” “That is simple: since that time we have not paid any room or board.”

“That is outrageous-and he pokes me for nothing!” “Yes,” she said, “and for that he does not betray you and your father to the police.” “It is a shame,” I said. “I won't let him do it to me again.” “Do as you like; I don't care!” “Well, let that rest,” I said. Tell me more of your story. Did you earn any money at that time?” “Oh, yes,” she said. “First the storekeeper on the corner; he always looked at me and tickled me under the chin. I told Rudolph, and he said: 'Do anything that he wants, but you must ask him for money.' The first time he gave me only a few pennies. He was standing in front of the store and I passed him. I smiled at him and he called me inside. He took me into the storeroom and said that he was going to give me some pennies or figs or something like that. When we were in the storeroom, he said: “You have a little 'fig" that I would like,'-meaning my kitten, of course.” “Then what did you say?” “Nothing.” “Oh, go on and tell it to me. Don't make me ask questions,” I said. She replied: “I am telling it; he said to let him see the 'fig' that I had between my legs. He said that if I would do that, that he would give me as many figs as I wanted.”