Dorsai - Taxi

"What do you think about it?"

She took a few moments to compose herself before telling me "She's my daughter, and I love her – no matter HOW crazy she's making me. I can even understand what she's saying, after a fashion. There's a reason there hasn't been a man in my life since her father died: I loved him very, very much, and he loved me. Both of us – he and I, I mean – enjoyed our intimate times together; if it wasn't for a problem I had when I was pregnant with Carol, we'd likely have had several more children. After he was gone, I simply didn't think that I'd ever meet anyone that really loved me the way he did, and I wasn't enthralled with the idea of casual sex."

"But…?"

"But while I was thinking last night, after we'd all talked ourselves out, I started thinking about what I know about you – what you've told us about yourself, and what I've seen and heard while we've been around you. And I figured that you didn't seem to be someone that would be with a woman simply for the purpose of getting intimate with her; that you're too ethical and conscientious for anything like that. I had to conclude that if you were with a woman, it would because there was at least some kind of affection and bond between you and her. And I realized that even though that wasn't as much as I might want, either for Carol or myself, it was almost certainly enough. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I have missed being with a man and having to tend to my own needs. Essentially, I think that you could not only take proper care with Carol, but ME, as well."

"And Beth?"

"She doesn't like it – any of it. She definitely doesn't approve of what Carol has said, or the idea of my involvement. But she hasn't been able to offer up any alternatives, either; as bad as this is, it seems to be the only thingwe can do. Thankfully, she's been content to tell us she doesn't approve, and leave it at that."

"So if I were to agree to what Carol wants, you would be there, and a participant, too?"

Blushing, Ellen answered "Yes, that's right."

"Why would you agree to something like that?" I had to know.

"Please understand me, Jim: I love my daughter. If it meant saving her, I'd give her my own heart. I'm absolutely disgusted that things have gotten to this point, and why – but they have, and none of the three of us has come up with any other way of addressing the situation. The last thing in the world that I need or want is for my daughter to watch me having sex, or be there when she is. But I'm facing the choice of having my daughter essentially becoming a semen repository after having what I suspect would be the worst experience of her life, or setting aside my own foibles in the interest of seeing to it that the solution she's come up with for a problem she has doesn't hurt her and mess up the rest of her life. You're the one that has studied philosophy… tell me, what's the answer? If there's another solution, what is it?"

When I didn't have anything to say, Ellen told me "I can only imagine what you must think about all this. As bad as it is for me, I'm still her mother, and have been there as we were getting to this point. You've just listened to me dump all this in your lap over lunch, with absolutely no clue it was coming. I don't doubt that you're going to want some time to think about all of this before you give me – us! – any kind of answer, and Carol knows it, too. I've got a hundred dollars cash in my purse that I'm willing to give you right now, to keep regardless of what you decide: I know that if you have to say 'no', it would be… awkward for all of us to see each other again, and I don't want you to be out any income because of something like this."

"You're right about it being awkward, but the money isn't necessary. Yes, I do have to think about it – but I'll make my decision for my own reasons that won't be financial." Somehow, that last bit seemed to reassure her for some reason before I continued "When do you need an answer?"

"We were thinking of heading home Saturday" – it was then Thursday – "but we wouldn't have any problem with making it a few days later, instead."

After considering it, I told her "Okay. I'll have an answer for you, one way or the other, by early tomorrow afternoon – say, before two o'clock."

She nodded her understanding, and I told her "If you're ready, then, I can get you back to the hotel – or anyplace else you want to go."

"No, the hotel is fine", she assured me before digging into her purse and pulling out enough money to cover our meal and a tip for our server. Once we were back out in my rig, I didn't bother dropping the flag for the ride back to their hotel; once we got there, it wasn't until she offered me a twenty for the ride out that I realized what I'd done. I thanked her, and asked what room number I should ask for when I called. She told me, and after telling me "Thank you, Jim. It's been a pleasure meeting and getting to know you, and even if you have to say 'no', I want you to know that you've still been a big help", she turned and went into the lobby.

Needless to say, I was considerably distracted the rest of my shift. Once I got home, I fixed myself a quick meal so that I'd have more time to really think about what I'd heard, and they wanted. Once I'd gotten myself parked in my 'reading' chair, I spent the entire evening there with my cat Demosthenes in my lap as I considered what had been said to (and asked of) me. It was later than usual when I finally went to bed… and even then, it took a while for me to get to sleep.

Having pretty much decided what to do the previous evening, I still spent the next morning going over it again to try and see if there was anything I was leaving out, including when it wasn't necessary, or mis-judging. Lunch was by myself, and on my own dime.

I caught a fare right afterward, so it was coming up on the deadline I'd given her when I finally got the chance to make the call. I have to admit that I felt a certain amount of relief when it was Ellen that answered the phone.

After identifying myself, I told her "As I promised, I'm calling to let you know what I decided. I expect you can appreciate that it wasn't easy – but I finally decided that I'm generally agreeable." I heard her soft gasp, and went on to say "We have some details to work out, of course, but they shouldn't be difficult. There are also a couple of things that I'd like to see happen, but they aren't strictly necessary."

"We'll be happy to do what we can, of course. When and where would you like to get together?"

"I've thought about that, and would like to invite you – and Carol – to have dinner at my place, if that's acceptable."

I could tell that she was a bit taken aback, but it took only a moment for her to answer "That would be fine, Jim. What time?"

"How about if I pick you up at the hotel about six? If that's too early, later would be fine with me, too. And to put your mind at ease, I'm just thinking it would help if both of you got to know me a little better."

I could hear a trace of relief in her voice when she replied "I think six would be fine. We'll be waiting."

"I'll see you then", I said, before ending the connection. I planned to knock off a little early, so picking them up at six would give me time to get home, clean up, and change clothes without making supper too late.

The rest of my day went pretty much as usual, and I didn't have any trouble making it to their hotel to pick them up in my personal vehicle. I saw that both of them were a little surprised at the change, but pleasantly so. It was also clear that both of them were a bit nervous and uncertain – understandable, of course. Both of them were dressed nicely, though casual: Ellen was in a blouse and skirt that flattered her figure and showed a good measure of a pair of very nice legs; Carol had opted for a simple one-piece dress that accomplished the same things. After I'd opened the passenger-side doors for them, Carol didn't hesitate to take a seat in the back, which left Ellen up front with me. The ride to my place was mostly quiet, with only a few innocuous comments between all of us.