Джеймс Хоу - Bunnicula Meets Edgar Allan Crow

“Of course we do,” Chester agreed, after he’d dropped my tail. “But first let’s check in with our spy, shall we?”

Howie! He would know what had happened!

We entered the guest room and found Howie sound asleep under the bed.

“Howie! Wake up!” Chester ordered.

Howie’s eyes popped open. “Is it morning?” he asked groggily. He then sneezed. A dust bunny landed several inches from his nose.

“Howie, get out from under there and tell us everything you know!” Chester demanded.

“Okay, Pop.” Howie wriggled his way out from under the bed and cleared his throat. “My name is Howie,” he began. “I live with Mr. and Mrs. Monroe and their two sons, Toby and Pete, in the town of Centerville. My best friends are Chester and Harold, whom I call Pop and Uncle Harold. The capital of the United States is Washington, D.C. Two plus two equals four. Never wear plaids and stripes together. The average dog should have its ears checked once a week to see if they need cleaning. However, dogs with long, pendulous ears, such as those of a basset hound, should be checked more—”

“HOWIE!” Chester shouted. “I am asking what you know about Bunnicula’s disappearance!”

“Oh,” said Howie. “Did Bunnicula disappear?”

Chester gnashed his teeth.

“You really shouldn’t do that, Pop,” Howie pointed out. “It wears down the enamel.”

“Howie!”

“What? It’s something else I know.”

“Howie,” I said. “Did you notice Bunnicula getting out during the night?”

Howie looked down at the floor. “Well, I didn’t exactly stay . .. you know ... exactly ...”

“Awake?” Chester speculated. “Is that the word you’re searching for?”

“Kind of,” said Howie. “But I did hear some stuff before I fell asleep.”

“Fine,” said Chester. “Give us a full report, and then we’ve got to start looking for Bunnicula.”

Howie’s face took on a look of deep concentration. “Okay,” he began, “first of all, before Miles went to bed he went over to Bunnicula’s cage and started talking to him.”

Chester’s eyes lit up. “What did he say?”

“He said, ‘Nice bunny.’”

“That’s it? ‘Nice bunny’?”

“No, then he said, ‘Twitchy-nose bunny.’”

“Ooh,” I said. “I’ll bet that’s mad scientist code for-”

“You’re skating on thin ice, Harold,” Chester warned. “Go on, Howie.”

“Well, he just talked to him like that for a while. You know, sort of baby bunny talk. Oh, at one point, he said, ‘You’re a rabbit, you’re okay.’ Then he took this deep breath—I mean, it was so loud I could hear it all the way under the bed—and then he was quiet.”

Chester snorted. “‘You’re a rabbit, you’re okay.’ What does that mean? Did he take Bunnicula out of his cage?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I couldn’t see. It didn’t sound like he took him out of his cage. All I heard after that was the sound of typing.”

“Typing?”

Howie got really excited telling this part of the story. “Uh-huh. He was writing, Pop! Can you believe it? My hero, M. T. Graves, was writing right here in this very room!”

I looked over at the laptop computer sitting on the dresser. I knew what Chester was going to say before he said it.

“No, Chester,” I said. “We are not going to break into his computer.”

Chester rolled his eyes as if the thought would never have crossed his mind.

“I was so inspired,” Howie went on. “I mean it. I couldn’t fall asleep for seconds I was so full of story ideas. I have this one idea that is so cool. It’s about this dog who has fleas, except it turns out they’re not ordinary fleas, see, they’re steel-plated Crypto- Fleas and they’ve been sent from another—”

“Howie!” said Chester. “I’ll listen to your ideas another time, okay?”

“Really, Pop?”

“Well, no. But Harold will, won’t you, Harold? Right now what I need to hear is what else happened with Miles and Edgar and Bunnicula.”

“Oh, well, while he was typing he was muttering things that I couldn’t really hear. And then he was quiet for a long time. And then he was muttering again, and then I heard him say, ‘I can’t do it alone, Edgar. You’ve got to help me.’”

“Help him what?” Chester asked suspiciously.

“I don’t know. He stopped talking. A few minutes later the bed sagged, and soon after that the snoring began. And that’s when I had all my story ideas, and then I fell asleep.”

“That’s it?” said Chester. “That’s the whole report?”

Howie thought for a moment, and then his eyes lit up. “Wait, there is something else! Before he went to bed, Miles opened the window. He said something about it being stuffy in here. Then he went over and picked up the black bag—”

Chester gasped. “The black bag!”

“Uh-huh. He got the black bag and took it to bed with him.”

“He took it to bed with him? Okay, that’s just weird.”

“I know. I woke up at one point and took a peek around the room. Edgar and Bunnicula were asleep. So was Miles—and he was hugging the black bag.”

“And that is even weirder,” said Chester as he raised himself up to peer over the top of the bed.

“There it is,” he said. “There’s our answer.”

“Where?” I asked.

“In the bag, Harold. It probably holds the tools of his villainous trade.”

Chester jumped up on the bed. He inched his way toward the black bag. Just as he was about to reach it, he looked up and let out a surprised, “Oh!”

It was Howie’s and my turn to put our paws up on the edge of the bed. Looking where Chester’s eyes were riveted, we saw a plate sitting on the night table on the other side of the bed. The plate was filled with limp, white lettuce.

“Déjà vu,” said Chester.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I replied. “But, Chester, this is really no time to practice your French.”

“‘Déjà vu’ is an expression used when something seems familiar, Harold, as if what is happening now has happened before.”

“Oh. Well. I knew that. And I’m still fine, thanks. Although I am getting hungry.” I was hoping that Mr. Monroe was still planning on making pancakes.

“I see what’s happened here,” Chester said. “The Monroes left a plate of salad on the night table—remember, Miles had asked for salad without dressing to be placed by his bed for a midnight snack. Was that the reason he wanted it there, or was it to lure Bunnicula out of his cage—into a fiendish trap?”

I thought Chester might be onto something. After all, that limp, white lettuce sure looked like Bunnicula’s handiwork.

“But where do you think Bunnicula is now?” I asked.

Chester’s eyes strayed back to the bag on the bed.

Howie gasped. “We’ve got to free him!” he yipped. “We’ve got to let the cat out of the bag!”

“Bunnicula is a rabbit,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, but who ever heard of letting the rabbit out of the bag?”

By now Chester was struggling to get the bag open. “It’s stuck,” he mumbled. “Umph! Come on, you two, give me some teeth.”

I can’t say I love the taste of leather, but the thought that Bunnicula might be trapped inside gave me no choice but to hop up on the bed and join Chester and Howie in the rescue operation.

It was inevitable, of course, that at the moment the three of us were gnawing away at Miles Tanner’s prized possession he would appear in the doorway and cry out, “Stop!”

We jumped off the bed and raced down the stairs faster than you could say “steel-plated Crypto-fleas.”