Walter Benjamin - Radio Benjamin

DANCE HALL KING ( whispering ): Disastrous, disastrous! What are we going to do?

DUTCH MICHAEL ( whispering ): As if you had any ideas, you dumb Dance Hall King. It’s going to take something big. Let me think a minute!

DANCE HALL KING ( whispering ): That’s a laugh: you, thinking! If only it were possible, Dutch Michael.

DUTCH MICHAEL ( whispering ): Save it, Dance Hall King. Go sing “The Watch on the Rhine.” 8So, Coal Peter, now you have a huge amount of money from the Little Glass Man and you’ve got yourself a glass factory.

COAL PETER: That’s right, that’s right, Mr. Dutch Michael, I did indeed have a nice, big glass factory.

DANCE HALL KING: Yes, right, you had it, Coal Peter, but sure enough, you up and gambled it away with Fat Ezekiel at the tavern. Isn’t that true, Fat Ezekiel?

EZEKIEL: Oh, give it a rest, Dance Hall King. I don’t ever want to be reminded of that evening again.

ANNOUNCER: Yes, that’s right, Coal Peter! I still remember that myself. You gambled away your glass factory. But you must ask yourself: wasn’t that a colossal mistake on Coal Peter’s part, wishing from the Keeper of Wealth that he would always have as much money in his pocket as Fat Ezekiel? It goes without saying that one evening you wouldn’t have a single penny left and would have to sell your glass factory the very next day. Wait a minute: Had to sell — had to sell—? There it is on page sixteen! Thank God, I’ve found the thread again! Let’s go, people, we can continue! While the bailiff and appraiser looked around the glass factory and checked and estimated the value of everything that was for sale, that’s when Coal Peter thought: “It’s not that far to the pine forest; if the little fellow couldn’t help me, then I’m going to try it again with the big one.” He ran to the pine forest as if the bailiffs were at his heels; as he ran past the place in the forest where he first spoke to the Little Glass Man, he felt as if an invisible hand were holding him back; but he tore himself away and kept running, all the way to the boundary he remembered from before. Well, Peter, now you’re on your own; I certainly don’t envy you for what happens next.

COAL PETER ( breathless ): Dutch Michael, Mr. Dutch Michael!

DUTCH MICHAEL ( laughing ): So you’ve come, Coal Peter. Did they fleece you and try to sell you off to your creditors? Well, keep calm, as I said before, all of your misery comes from the Little Glass Man, that separatist, that hypocrite! When one gives, one really has to give — not like that cheapskate! So come, come into my house; we’ll see if we can make a deal.

COAL PETER: A deal, Dutch Michael? What is there to negotiate with you? Should I serve you somehow? What else do you want? And how will I make it over this great chasm?

DUTCH MICHAEL ( as if through a megaphone ): Just sit on my hand and hold on to my fingers. You won’t fall.

Music with various rhythms that sound like ticking clocks; first softly, then louder.

So, here we are! Take a seat on the bench by the stove and let’s drink a pint of wine together. Cheers, here’s to your health, you poor fellow. Is it true that you’ve never left the gloomy Black Forest your whole life?

COAL PETER: Not yet, indeed, Dutch Michael, how would I?

DUTCH MICHAEL: In different company, of course! Every year I get to float down the Rhine to Holland atop a raft of timber. Not to mention the trips to foreign countries I allow myself in my free time.

COAL PETER: Oh, to do that just once!

DUTCH MICHAEL: It’s up to you. Until now your heart has gotten in the way of everything.

COAL PETER: My heart?

DUTCH MICHAEL: When, in your whole body, you might have the courage and strength to do something, but a few beats of your stupid heart make you tremble, as do your misfortunes and insults to your honor — why should a smart fellow like you have to worry about such things? Was it your head that bothered you when they called you an impostor and a scoundrel? Did your stomach ache when the bailiff came to throw you out of your house? Tell me, please, what was paining you?

COAL PETER: My heart.

DUTCH MICHAEL: You have, and don’t resent me for saying this, thrown away hundreds of guldens on vile panhandlers and other riff-raff; what good did it do you? They wished you good blessings and a healthy body; are you any healthier for it? For half that squandered money you could have gotten a doctor. Blessings — nice blessings those, when you are seized for debt and evicted! And what was it that drove you to reach in your pocket every time a beggar stretched out a tattered hat? — Your heart, once again, your heart, and not your eyes or tongue, arms or legs, but your heart; you took it, as they say, too much to heart.

COAL PETER: But what can be done to stop it? I try as hard as I can to stifle it, but nonetheless my heart beats, bringing me pain.

DUTCH MICHAEL ( with a sneering laugh ): You, poor rascal, can do nothing about it; but give me the palpitating thing and then you’ll see how good you have it.

COAL PETER ( horrified ): Give you my heart? I would die on the spot! Never!

DUTCH MICHAEL: Well, if you had one of those honorable surgeons remove your heart from your body, you would surely die; but with me it’s different; come into this room and see for yourself!

Music: Fugue of the Pounding Heart.

COAL PETER: For God’s sake! What is that?

DUTCH MICHAEL: Yes, take a good look at what’s in those spirit glasses! They cost me a wad of dough! Take a closer look and read the names on the labels.

After reading each name aloud, corresponding music.

Here we have the bailiff and here Fat Ezekiel. This is the heart of the Dance Hall King and that of the Head Forester. And here we have a whole collection of racketeers and recruiting officers. Look, all of them got rid of a life of fear and worry; none of these hearts beats with worry and fear anymore, and their former owners feel they’ve gotten an unruly guest out of the house.

COAL PETER ( fearfully ): But what do they carry in their chests now?

DUTCH MICHAEL: A meticulously manufactured stone heart like this one here.

COAL PETER ( shuddering ): Really? A heart of marble? Listen here, Mr. Dutch Michael, that must feel awfully cold in one’s chest.

DUTCH MICHAEL: Well, yes, but quite pleasantly cool. Why should a heart be warm? In the winter that warmth is of no use to you at all — a good cherry brandy is of greater help than a warm heart. And during the summer, when it’s hot and humid, you wouldn’t believe how such a heart can cool you down. And as I said, neither fear nor dread, nor foolish compassion nor any other misery throbs in such a heart.

COAL PETER ( annoyed ): And that’s all you have to offer? I was thinking of money, and you offer me a stone!

DUTCH MICHAEL: Well, I think, 100,000 guldens should be enough for you as a start. If you manage it shrewdly, you will soon be a millionaire.

COAL PETER ( happy ): Hey you, don’t beat so fiercely in my chest! We will soon be done with one another. Very well, Michael, give me the stone and the money, and remove the worry from its dwelling place!

DUTCH MICHAEL ( happy ): I knew you were a sensible fellow. Come, let’s have a drink, and then I’ll fork over the money.

The heart music fades into a Post Horn Fugue.

COAL PETER ( wakes up and stretches ): Aah! I slept a long time. Was that a post horn that just woke me? Am I awake, or am I still dreaming? It seems to me that I am riding somewhere, and there is a postilion and horses up ahead. I am, in fact, sitting in a stagecoach. And the mountains, back there in the distance, that’s the Black Forest. And even my clothes have changed. Why am I not even a little melancholy that I am leaving, for the first time, the forests where I lived for so long? What is my mother doing? How strange, she’s probably sitting there, helpless and in despair, and yet this thought cannot draw a single tear from my eye. I am indifferent to it all. Why? Oh, that’s right, tears and sighs, homesickness and melancholy come from the heart and, thanks to Dutch Michael, mine is cold and made of stone. If he kept his word about the hundred thousand, as he did with my heart, then I should be happy. Sure enough, here is a purse with thousands of coins and bills from the commercial houses of all the big cities.