Mary Roach - Grunt

There were some in the Submarine Force who believed Kleitman’s watchbill deserved a fuller chance, that the galley and recreation routines could have been adjusted. One executive officer blamed “just plain orneriness. Sailors,” he wrote, “hate to try anything new.” It is perhaps no coincidence that the colloquialisms “don’t rock the boat” and “don’t make waves” share a nautical element.

The officer was probably right. The Kleitman watchbill was grounded in sound science. Sunlight is our most powerful internal clock-setter. Along with rods and cones, we have a third kind of photoreceptor, one that is keyed to the blue wavelengths of sunlight. Information about this light, or the lack of it, is passed along to the pineal gland, producer of melatonin, the body’s natural soporific. Sunlight triggers a cutoff of melatonin, bringing on wakefulness. (Indoor light—particularly the light from tablets and smartphones—can also suppress melatonin, but nowhere near as dramatically as sunlight.) This is why night shift workers who drive home in the morning through sunlight and then struggle to fall asleep may find relief by buying amber-lensed Bono-style glasses that block the sun’s blue light wavelengths.

NSMRL has been developing goggles rimmed with battery-powered lights that emit the blue melatonin-suppressing wavelengths, thereby fooling the brain into thinking it’s daytime. Depending on which direction you’re flying, one or another of these distinctive eyewear options can help you preadjust to a new time zone. Or, in the case of Special Operations types heading to the Middle East to undertake secret 3:00 a.m. missions, not adjust. Lieutenant Kate Couturier, a circadian rhythm researcher at NSMRL, outfitted a planeload of Navy SEALs with blue light–emitting goggles on a series of flights from Guam to the East Coast of the United States, to see if it were possible to make them unattractive to females, oops, I mean, to keep them on Guam time. It worked.

It is probably fair to say that circadian dysrhythmia affects alertness and performance as much as or more than the amount of sleep a person has been getting. In the late 1990s, a team of sleep researchers and statisticians from Stanford University analyzed twenty-five seasons of Monday Night Football scores. Because the games were played at 9:00 p.m. eastern standard time, West Coast players were essentially competing at 6:00 p.m.—a time chronobiologically closer to the body’s late afternoon peak for physical performance. [60] It’s not just alertness that waxes and wanes. Gut motility also follows a circadian pattern. Healthy humans rarely crap after midnight, unless they’ve just arrived in a distant time zone. As the researchers predicted, West Coast teams were shown to have won more often and by more points per game. The effect was striking enough that teams sometimes travel a few days in advance of a game to give the players’ body rhythms a chance to adjust.

Another complicating factor with military sleep is that the people making the schedules are often middle-aged and the people following them are teenagers. Not only do adolescents typically need more sleep, but their circadian rhythm is “phase-delayed” compared to adults’; melatonin production begins later in the evening, with the result that a teenager or even a twenty-two-year-old may not feel sleepy until well past midnight. Horrifically, the traditional boot camp lights-out is at 10:00 p.m., with a 4:00 a.m. wake-up.

Jeff Dyche told me about an admiral who approached him wanting to address sleep deprivation in the Navy boot camps. She wanted to move lights-out to an hour earlier—9:00 p.m.—to give the lads more time to sleep. Dyche quietly took her for a walk around camp after lights-out. “Almost every sailor was sitting up wide awake, twiddling his thumbs. They’re all going to sleep at midnight no matter how early they have to get up.” Dyche managed to move some 4:00 a.m. wake-ups to 6:00 a.m. Test scores improved so dramatically that one of the command master chiefs assumed there’d been a cheating scandal.

For the past four decades, submarines have run on a watchbill known as “sixes,” which divides sailors’ time into six-hour chunks: six hours on watch, six for other duties and studies, six for personal time and sleep, then back on watch. The creation of an 18-hour day saw each sailor putting in six extra hours of watch time every 24-hour period. The problem is that his activities ceased to align with his biological rhythms. He’s now working when his body badly wants to be sleeping. “It’s like flying to Paris every day,” Kate Couturier said. Without Paris. “It’s a quadruple whammy,” said Couturier’s colleague Jerry Lamb, when I met with him and other Navy sleep experts before boarding the Tennessee . “We flip around their sleeping and working times, we work them like dogs, we give them very short periods of sleep, and we wake them up for drills.” He turned to his colleagues. “Did I miss anything?”

Lamb was involved in the push for the new “circadian-friendly” watchbill. There has been, as there always is, some resistance. Sixes is how it’s been done for fifty years. “As flawed as it is, we’d perfected it,” commanding officer Bohner said one morning as we sat in his stateroom. “Now we’re going to shake the ball and throw the pieces back down again.” I tried to picture what game that might be.

The problem resides mainly with the midnight to 8:00 a.m. shift—the dreaded “mids.” You come off watch and instead of sitting down to dinner, you’re having breakfast. You’re sleeping from 4:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., when there’s often, despite Nathan Murray’s best efforts, something that you have to get out of bed for. To more fairly distribute the suck, the crew swap watch schedules every other week. Instead of flying to Paris every day, it’s every two weeks. The switchover happens on a Sunday, its being normally—that is, when riders are not coming aboard creating extra work for everyone—the quietest day of the week.

Today is that Sunday. Lieutenant Kedrowski, the man on the periscope platform, the officer of the deck, is switching to mids. It’s his birthday. Happy birthday, Kedrowski. You get to scramble your circadian rhythms and get three hours sleep—in a rack that smells like someone else, because you had to give yours up to some writer from California.

“I’m really sorry, by the way.” I would have been happy to sleep among the warheads.

“It’s no problem,” says Kedrowski, with unforced bonhomie. Almost everyone I’ve met down here has been easygoing and upbeat, especially given how tired they must be. I am, to quote the Dole banana carton in the galley pantry, “hanging with a cool bunch.” If everyone in the world did a stint in the Navy, we wouldn’t need a Navy.

Up above Kedrowski’s head, a red light is flashing. Kedrowski explained this alarm box earlier. It’s the one that goes off if the President of the United States orders a nuclear missile launch.

“So this is another drill then?”

“No.” Kedrowski finishes writing something in a three-ring binder and looks over at the box. “It’s kind of broken.” He puts down his pen and listens. “They’re supposed to say, ‘Disregard alarm.’” They don’t, and soon it stops. “They need to fix that,” he says.

The missile alarm is mildly unnerving (good god, what if? ) but not particularly frightening. In the queer logic of war in general and nuclear conflagration in specific, five hundred feet underwater on an undetectable Trident submarine is the safest place you could possibly be. The crew of the modern ballistic missile submarine endures long hours and grueling tedium, homesickness, horniness, and canned lima beans, but they are spared the thing that keeps most of us out of the military: the nagging awareness that you could be shot or blown up at almost any moment. Better dead-tired than dead.