Elisabeth Carpenter - 99 Red Balloons

I nod.

‘I went to see your mum, to tell her I found Zoe… yes, yes, okay, that we’ve found Zoe.’

David rolls his eyes at me. It’ll be Scott’s own version of the truth, what he’s told himself to justify his actions.

David holds the phone towards me.

‘He wants to talk to you. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’

What’s the worst he could say to me? I’ve imagined the worst from him anyway, that he’d tell me I’m the scum of the earth for telling the police on him. David hands me the phone. I take a deep breath and look to the sky before I put it to my ear.

‘Scott, it’s me. It’s Mum.’

‘Oh, Maggie.’ He sounds like he’s crying. ‘I got your letter. Did you get the flowers? I’m so sorry for what I did to Dad, you have to believe me. I’ve made it better, see. I got their attention – now they know what it feels like.’

He sounds so different, so old. His voice is so much coarser. I try to stay calm, but I’m shaking.

‘But we could have just written to Zoe.’ I’ve got to make him believe I’m on his side – I don’t want him getting angry. I know what he’s capable of. ‘You didn’t have to take that poor little girl.’

‘Write to her? What good would that have done? Catherine Atkinson would have just made up another set of lies, don’t you see that? Did David tell you what she did? Put Zoe in a suitcase. Catherine’s managed to keep up her act for decades. She’ll have been expecting a letter, had her lies all ready. No, it had to be done this way, you see. Did David tell you that he’s been looking for her for all of these years?’

He talks so fast. My mind’s all over the place. It takes me a few moments to register that he’s waiting for an answer.

‘Yes, he told me.’

It’s freezing, and the noise of the motorway is too distracting. I get back into the car.

‘What’s all the noise? Where are you?’

I look out of the window.

‘On the M6. In Staffordshire, I think – the services. Where are you? Are we far?’

He laughs. Then silence.

Has he hung up?

‘Ah, you had me there, Maggie. I was nearly going to say where I was then. You understand why I can’t tell you though, right? It’s nearly over. I just have to get rid of the girl. Then we can be a family again, yeah?’

‘Scott, what are you going to do with Grace? She’s all right, isn’t she?’

He sniffs. ‘Of course she’s all right. I’m not an animal, am I?’

It’s not right to be scared of your own son, is it? But I remember the look in his eyes when he was standing over his father all those years ago. He was like an animal – he couldn’t control himself. Ron thought he’d only been hit once, but Scott had hit him again, and again. That’s what the doctors told us. Ron had three cracked ribs and a broken jaw. Thank God he blacked out before he felt the rest.

‘Of course you’re not, love.’ I try to hide the fear from my voice. ‘Where’s Grace now?’

He sniffs again, twice. ‘She’s upstairs, in the bedroom.’

I’m panicking – I have to cover the mouthpiece in case he can hear my breathing. I take two deep breaths. Breathe, breathe.

‘Are you still there?’ he says.

‘Yes, I’m here.’

‘I have to go. I think the police are coming. If they find her here with me, I’ll be sent down again.’

‘What makes you think they’re coming?’

‘I can feel it. I think David’s grassed me up.’

‘Course he hasn’t, love.’

Love is the last thing I want to call him, but I have to keep him talking. If I keep him on the phone, then he won’t do anything to that little girl. I don’t even know what he’s capable of any more.

‘I’ve got to go.’

‘No, Scott. Don’t hang up. We’ve got so much to talk—’

And he’s gone.

David gets into the car.

‘What’s he going to do to that little girl?’ I say to him. ‘You’ve been in contact with him – what will he do? What’s he been saying to you? Did you know he’d do this?’

He starts up the engine. The tyres screech as we pull out of the car park.

‘Of course I bloody didn’t!’ He glances at me. ‘Sorry, Maggie.’ He thumps the steering wheel again. ‘I shouldn’t have told him their names. I thought he’d want to know about Zoe. I didn’t think he’d do anything as crazy as this.’

He puts his foot down to rejoin the motorway. I grip on to the sides of the seat.

‘Let’s hope the police find them before he has a chance to do anything to her,’ I say.

David glances at me. ‘You think he will?’

I look out of the window. It’s pouring with rain.

‘I’ve no idea.’

‘Come on, we’ve got to be quick.’

She tries to get up, but she can’t. Ah fuck, the ankles – I forgot about them.

Her legs shake as I untie them from the chair.

‘Calm down, I’m not going to hurt you. Not if you’re a good girl.’

She’s free, but she still doesn’t get off the chair. I grab her arm and drag her off. Her trousers are soaking wet. So is the chair.

‘Why didn’t you tell me you needed a piss, eh?’

Fucking kids.

She makes a noise through the tape, but I can’t understand what she’s staying.

‘Sorry, kid. The tape has to stay. We’re on the move.’

How the hell am I going to do this?

I carry her in a fireman’s lift down the stairs – she stinks of piss.

Bin bag, that’d do it.

I just hope to fuck I bought some.

I put her on the sofa.

‘Now just stay there. I’m just going to look in the kitchen. I can still hear you, you know.’

Under the sink – that’s where Maggie used to keep them. I must have put them there too, old habits and that. I can’t believe she’s with David. After all these years. We’re all going to be reunited. I tear one of the bags off, and shake it out. Think I’m going to need to… top and tail her – that’s what they used to call it. I tear another bag off and sling them over my shoulder.

‘What the… Get away from that window. What do you think you’re doing?’

She’s making noises too, banging on the window. The little shit. She’s going to get me into trouble.

A slap should do it.

It makes a louder sound than I thought it would. She doesn’t move from the floor.

Shit.

Got to keep moving.

Bin bag over the head, another to cover the legs. Tape, I need tape.

I chance a look out of the window.

Nothing. Yet.

Tape, tape. Where the fuck is the tape? When did I have it last?

Fuck. It’s in the car.

I put my baseball cap on and pull the visor over my eyes. Nosy bastards round here. I open the front door. Just act normal. That’s it. Just a few more steps till I get to the car.

The tape’s in the glove compartment.

I shut the car door again. There’s no one out here. I can’t look around too much – it’ll look suspicious.

I close the front door and lean against it. How the hell am I going to get her into the boot? There’s no one outside now, but there might be in a minute.

My holdall. It’s big enough for that kid – she’s only skinny.

I race up the stairs.

I’m too old for all this shit.

It’s in the cupboard it’s always in. Good, good. It’s all coming together.

Downstairs, I open the bag as wide as I can get it. She doesn’t move as I pick her up. I daren’t check her pulse.

Fuck.

I should’ve asked for money… could’ve got away from here, started again.

But they needed to be taught a lesson, bunch of smug rich bastards. My sister died because of them – they deserve everything they get.