Дэн Браун - Angels & Demons

Grazie Dio .

He had prayed for strength, and God had given it to him. At moments when he had doubted, God had spoken. Yours is a Holy mission , God had said. I will give you strength . Even with God’s strength, the camerlegno had felt fear, questioning the righteousness of his path.

If not you , God had challenged, then Who?

If not now, then When?

If not this way, then How ?

Jesus, God reminded him, had saved them all… saved them from their own apathy. With two deeds, Jesus had opened their eyes. Horror and Hope. The crucifixion and the resurrection. He had changed the world.

But that was millennia ago. Time had eroded the miracle. People had forgotten. They had turned to false idols—techno-deities and miracles of the mind. What about miracles of the heart!

The camerlegno had often prayed to God to show him how to make the people believe again. But God had been silent. It was not until the camerlegno’s moment of deepest darkness that God had come to him. Oh, the horror of that night!

The camerlegno could still remember lying on the floor in tattered nightclothes, clawing at his own flesh, trying to purge his soul of the pain brought on by a vile truth he had just learned. It cannot be! he had screamed. And yet he knew it was. The deception tore at him like the fires of hell. The bishop who had taken him in, the man who had been like a father to him, the clergyman whom the camerlegno had stood beside while he rose to the papacy… was a fraud. A common sinner. Lying to the world about a deed so traitorous at its core that the camerlegno doubted even God could forgive it. "Your vow !" the camerlegno had screamed at the Pope. "You broke your vow to God! You , of all men!"

The Pope had tried to explain himself, but the camerlegno could not listen. He had run out, staggering blindly through the hallways, vomiting, tearing at his own skin, until he found himself bloody and alone, lying on the cold earthen floor before St. Peter’s tomb. Mother Mary, what do I do? It was in that moment of pain and betrayal, as the camerlegno lay devastated in the Necropolis, praying for God to take him from this faithless world, that God had come.

The voice in his head resounded like peals of thunder. " Did you vow to serve your God? "

"Yes!" the camerlegno cried out.

" Would you die for your God? "

"Yes! Take me now!"

" Would you die for your church? "

"Yes! Please deliver me!"

" But would you die for… mankind? "

It was in the silence that followed that the camerlegno felt himself falling into the abyss. He tumbled farther, faster, out of control. And yet he knew the answer. He had always known.

"Yes!" he shouted into the madness. "I would die for man! Like your son, I would die for them!"

Hours later, the camerlegno still lay shivering on his floor. He saw his mother’s face. God has plans for you , she was saying. The camerlegno plunged deeper into madness. It was then God had spoken again. This time with silence. But the camerlegno understood. Restore their faith .

If not me… then who?

If not now… then when?

As the guards unbolted the door of the Sistine Chapel, Camerlegno Carlo Ventresca felt the power moving in his veins… exactly as it had when he was a boy. God had chosen him. Long ago.

His will be done .

The camerlegno felt reborn. The Swiss Guard had bandaged his chest, bathed him, and dressed him in a fresh white linen robe. They had also given him an injection of morphine for the burn. The camerlegno wished they had not given him painkillers. Jesus endured his pain for three days on the cross! He could already feel the drug uprooting his senses… a dizzying undertow.

As he walked into the chapel, he was not at all surprised to see the cardinals staring at him in wonder. They are in awe of God , he reminded himself. Not of me, but how God works THROUGH me . As he moved up the center aisle, he saw bewilderment in every face. And yet, with each new face he passed, he sensed something else in their eyes. What was it? The camerlegno had tried to imagine how they would receive him tonight. Joyfully? Reverently? He tried to read their eyes and saw neither emotion.

It was then the camerlegno looked at the altar and saw Robert Langdon.

Camerlegno Carlo Ventresca stood in the aisle of the Sistine Chapel. The cardinals were all standing near the front of the church, turned, staring at him. Robert Langdon was on the altar beside a television that was on endless loop, playing a scene the camerlegno recognized but could not imagine how it had come to be. Vittoria Vetra stood beside him, her face drawn.

The camerlegno closed his eyes for a moment, hoping the morphine was making him hallucinate and that when he opened them the scene might be different. But it was not.

They knew.

Oddly, he felt no fear. Show me the way, Father. Give me the words that I can make them see Your vision .

But the camerlegno heard no reply.

Father, We have come too far together to fail now .

Silence.

They do not understand what We have done .

The camerlegno did not know whose voice he heard in his own mind, but the message was stark.

And the truth shall set you free…

And so it was that Camerlegno Carlo Ventresca held his head high as he walked toward the front of the Sistine Chapel. As he moved toward the cardinals, not even the diffused light of the candles could soften the eyes boring into him. Explain yourself , the faces said. Make sense of this madness. Tell us our fears are wrong!

Truth , the camerlegno told himself. Only truth . There were too many secrets in these walls… one so dark it had driven him to madness. But from the madness had come the light .

"If you could give your own soul to save millions," the camerlegno said, as he moved down the aisle, " would you?"

The faces in the chapel simply stared. No one moved. No one spoke. Beyond the walls, the joyous strains of song could be heard in the square.

The camerlegno walked toward them. "Which is the greater sin? Killing one’s enemy? Or standing idle while your true love is strangled?" They are singing in St. Peter’s Square! The camerlegno stopped for a moment and gazed up at the ceiling of the Sistine. Michelangelo’s God was staring down from the darkened vault… and He seemed pleased.

"I could no longer stand by," the camerlegno said. Still, as he drew nearer, he saw no flicker of understanding in anyone’s eyes. Didn’t they see the radiant simplicity of his deeds? Didn’t they see the utter necessity!

It had been so pure.

The Illuminati. Science and Satan as one.

Resurrect the ancient fear. Then crush it.

Horror and Hope. Make them believe again .

Tonight, the power of the Illuminati had been unleashed anew… and with glorious consequence. The apathy had evaporated. The fear had shot out across the world like a bolt of lightning, uniting the people. And then God’s majesty had vanquished the darkness.

I could not stand idly by!

The inspiration had been God’s own—appearing like a beacon in the camerlegno’s night of agony. Oh, this faithless world! Someone must deliver them. You. If not you, who? You have been saved for a reason. Show them the old demons. Remind them of their fear. Apathy is death. Without darkness, there is no light. Without evil, there is no good. Make them choose. Dark or light. Where is the fear? Where are the heroes? If not now, when?