Dick Francis - For Kicks

"Yes, I think so. This is very good cheese."

We drank our coffee and a glass of brandy out of a bottle with Beckett's name on it, and eventually walked slowly back to his office.

As before he sank gratefully into his chair and rested his head and arms, and I as before sat down opposite him on the other side of his desk.

"You are going back to Australia soon, I believe?" he said.

"Yes."

"I expect you are looking forward to getting back into harness."

I looked at him. His eyes stared straight back, steady and grave. He waited for an answer.

"Not altogether."

"Why not?"

I shrugged; grinned.

"Who likes harness?"

There was no point, I thought, in making too much of it.

"You are going back to prosperity, good food, sunshine, your family, a beautiful house, and a job you do well… isn't that right?"

I nodded. It wasn't reasonable not to want to go to all that.

"Tell me the truth," he said abruptly.

"The unvarnished honest truth.

What's wrong? "

"I'm a discontented idiot, that's all," I said lightly.

"Mr. Roke." He sat up slightly in the chair.

"I have a good reason for asking these questions. Please give me truthful answers. What is wrong with your life in Australia?"

There was a pause, while I thought and he waited. When at last I answered, I was aware that whatever his good reason was it would do no harm to speak plainly.

"I do a job which I ought to find satisfying, and it leaves me bored and empty."

"A diet of milk and honey, when you have teeth," he observed.

I laughed.

"A taste for salt, perhaps."

"What would you have been had your parents not died and left you with three children to bring up?"

"A lawyer, I think, though possibly…" I hesitated.

"Possibly what?"

"Well… it sounds a bit odd, especially after the last few days… a policeman."

"Ah," he said softly, 'that figures. " He leant his head back again and smiled.

"Marriage might help you feel more settled," he suggested.

"More ties," I said.

"Another family to provide for. The rut for ever."

"So that's how you look at it. How about Elinor?"

"She's a nice girl."

"But not for keeps?"

I shook my head.

"You went to a great deal of trouble to save her life," he pointed out.

"It was only because of me that she got into danger at all."

"You couldn't know that she would be so strongly attracted to you and find you so… er… irresistible that she would drive out to take another look at you. When you went back to Humber's to extricate her, you had already finished the investigation, tidily, quietly, and undiscovered. Isn't that right?"

"I suppose so. Yes."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Enjoy it?" I repeated, surprised.

"Oh, I don't mean the fracas at the end, or the hours of honest toil you had to put in." He smiled briefly.

"But the… shall we say, the chase?"

"Am I, in fact, a hunter by nature?"

"Are you?"

"Yes."

There was a silence. My unadorned affirmative hung in the air, bald and revealing.

"Were you afraid at all?" His voice was matter of fact.

"Yes."

"To the point of incapacity?"

I shook my head.

"You knew Adams and Humber would kill you if they found you out. What effect did living in perpetual danger have on you?" His voice was so clinical that I answered with similar detachment.

"It made me careful."

"Is that all?"

"Well, if you mean was I in a constant state of nervous tension, then no, -I wasn't."

"I see." Another of his small pauses. Then he said, "What did you find hardest to do?"

I blinked, grinned, and lied.

"Wearing those loathsome pointed shoes."

He nodded as if I had told him a satisfying truth. I probably had. The pointed shoes had hurt my pride, not my toes.

And pride had got the better of me properly when I visited Elinor in her college and hadn't been strong enough to play an oaf in her company. All that stuff about Marcus Aurelius was sheer showing off, and the consequences had been appalling. It didn't bear thinking of, let alone confessing.

Beckett said idly, "Would you ever consider doing something similar again?"

"I should think so. Yes. But not like that."

"How do you mean?"

"Well… I didn't know enough, for one thing. For example, it was just luck that Humber always left his office unlocked, because I couldn't have got in if he hadn't. I don't know how to open doors without keys.

I would have found a camera useful. I could have taken films of the blue ledger in Humber's office, and so on, but my knowledge of photography is almost nil. I'd have got the exposures wrong. Then I had never fought anyone in my life before. If I'd known anything at all about unarmed combat I probably wouldn't have killed Adams or been so much battered myself. Apart from all that there was nowhere where I could send you or Edward a message and be sure you would receive it quickly.

Communications, in fact, were pretty hopeless. "

"Yes. I see. All the same, you did finish the job in spite of those disadvantages."

"It was luck. You couldn't count on being lucky twice."

"I suppose not." He smiled What do you plan to do with your twenty thousand pounds? "

"I… er… plan to let Edward keep most of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't take that sort of money. All I ever wanted was to get away for a bit. It was he who suggested such a large sum, not me. I don't think he thought I would take on the job for less, but he was wrong I'd have done it for nothing if I could. All I'll accept from him is the amount it has cost for me to be away. He knows, I told him last night."

There was a long pause. Finally Beckett sat up and picked up a telephone. He dialled and waited.

"This is Beckett," he said.

"It's about Daniel Roke… yes, he's here." He took a postcard out of an inner pocket.

"Those points we were discussing this morning… I have had a talk with him. You have your card?"

He listened for a moment, and leaned back again in his chair. His eyes were steady on my face.

"Right?" He spoke into the telephone.

"Numbers one to four can all have an affirmative. Number five is satisfactory. Number six, his weakest spot… he didn't maintain his role in front of Elinor Tarren. She said he was good mannered and intelligent. No one else thought so… yes, I should say so, sexual pride… apparently only because Elinor is clever as well as pretty, since he kept it up all right with her younger sister… yes… oh undoubtedly it was his intellect as much as his physical appearance which attracted her… yes, very good looking: I believe you sometimes find that useful… no, he doesn't. He didn't look in the mirror in the washroom at the Club or in the one on the wall here… no, he didn't admit it today, but I'd say he is well aware he failed on that point… yes, rather a harsh lesson… it may still be a risk, or it may have been sheer un professionalism… your Miss Jones could find out, yes."

I didn't particularly care for this dispassionate vivisection, but short of walking out there seemed to be no way of avoiding it. His eyes still looked at me expressionlessly.

"Number seven… normal reaction. Eight, slightly obsessive, but that's all the better from your point of view." He glanced momentarily down at the card he held in his hand.

"Nine… well, although he is British by birth and spent his childhood here, he is Australian by inclination, and I doubt whether subservience comes easily… I don't know, he wouldn't talk about it… no, I wouldn't say he had a vestige of a martyr complex, he's clear on that… Of course you never get a perfect one… it's entirely up to you… Number ten? The three B's. I should say definitely not the first two, much too proud. As for the third, he's the type to shout for help.