Lawrence Sanders - Private Pleasures

My God, she was soft.

And so ready! I could feel it.

"Wednesday noon," I whispered in her ear. I'm going to take you to the stars."

"Don't forget the Galliano," she said.

I drove to my office as horny and excited as a teenager.

The first thing I did was phone the motel and reserve a room for noon on Wednesday, September 2. I asked for a vibrating bed, figuring it might be good for a laugh.

I slaved all day, catching up on the paperwork I had been neglecting.

I went out for lunch but didn't have a single drink.

I was determined to stay sober and get to bed early. I wanted to be physically fit for the motel scene on Wednesday. I, just knew it was going to be a memorable bang.

I was a Boy Scout for the remainder of the day, worked hard, treated my employees with respect (to their shock), and went directly home from the office. I did stop briefly to pick up fresh flowers and a key lime pie.

Question, Why are married men who plan to cheat so attentive to their wives beforehand?

What a nice, peaceable, domestic evening that was! Marleen loved the flowers, and Tania loved the pie. But I think what they liked best was that, for the first time in a long time, I was acting like a "man of the house," a sober and solicitous husband and father. To tell you the truth, I didn't find it a trial. I think I enjoyed it.

I may have been wrong, but that night I had the feeling that with a little salesmanship I could have persuaded Marleen to let me into her bed. I didn't make the effort. All I could think about were sharp, white teeth biting into a glazed doughnut. I guess there are words for guys like me. Schmo is one of them.

"Oh, by the way, Herm," Marleen said, "that new cologne I told you about-I left a sample on your bathroom sink. I wish you'd try it and tell me what you think."

"Sure, lion," I said. "I'll use it tomorrow."

I awoke early on Wednesday morning. It was a strange feeling to get up unhungover. What a high that was! I heard Marleen and Tania moving about and talking downstairs, so I stayed in bed until the house quieted down and I knew Marleen had left for work.

Then I started getting ready for the first day's assignation-with emphasis on the syllable.

I probably don't have to tell you, but in situations like this the man's preparations are as detailed and finicky as the woman's, if not more so.

I mean I took extra care in brushing my teeth and shaving closely. I did a thorough job in the shower, too, and spent a lot of time in selecting my seduction costume, not too dull, not too flashy. it was, I thought, something like putting on a confirmation suit.

But before I dressed, I inspected the new cologne marleen had left on the bathroom sink. It was in a spray dispenser and unlabeled. I spritzed a little onto one hand, rubbed my palms together, and sniffed the fragrance.

I liked it. As Marleen had said, it was spicy and minty and had a very refreshing after-scent. I sprayed my armpits and rubbed some on my chin, neck, and chest. it was cooling which, I supposed, came from the alcohol base. But even after that evaporated, I could smell the aroma.

It wasn't overpowering, and I had the feeling Mabel Barrow would love it. That wonderful woman!

All perfumed and duded up, I went out into a perfect day, warm sun, cloudless sky, kissing breeze. What a great world it was! I saw Tania and Chet huddled in the Barrows' garage and waved to them. What marvelous kids! Both of them were winners, and I loved them, I really did.

The drive to the Fort Lauderdale motel was a delight. I just felt so good that I wanted it to go on forever! It was like being born again, seeing, everything for the first time. Colors seemed so vivid, traffic sounds were music, and I even sang as I drove. I don't remember the tune but it was so bright and cheerful I had to laugh!

The people at the motel couldn't have been nicer, I had no problems at all. The room they gave me was spacious, sunlit, and spotlessly clean.

It was only then that I realized I had forgotten to bring a bottle of Galliano. I went back to the lobby and from a vending machine I bought two cans of cold A amp;W diet root beer. I was happy with my choice.

Mabel would be delighted!

She arrived about twenty minutes later, and she looked absolutely beautiful! She was wearing jeans and a pink cotton shirt, and her hair positively glistened. She was radiant, and I realized how fortunate I was that she loved me.

I took her in my arms and told her how I felt.

"Sweetheart," I said, "just being with you is all a man could want.

These moments are so precious to me. You look so sweet I could eat you up."

"That, too," she said. "Where's the Galliano?"

"First," I said, "let's snuggle awhile."

She looked at me strangely. "Snuggle?" she said. on Tuesday morning Herm came over for a Hcup of java and gave me the motel pitch again. I figured what the hell, fish or cut bait, Shouldn't-I have fun. and I was tired of the shit I was taking So I made up my mind right then and told him okay, I'd shack up with him at noon on Wednesday If he was even half the lover he claimed to be, it would be a hoot. had Finally deciding calmed me down. I mean I been worrying the problem a long time, and now I felt with Dr. Cherry things. I had a session better about esday afternoon and tried to explain. Noble on Tu "Look," I said, "I'm no great brain, and I know it. I happen to be a very physical woman, and I need my jollies. Is that so awful?"

"Quite normal," she said, smiling.

"So I've decided to kick over the traces," I went on. "One time, at least. I don't like the idea of cheating on my husband, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him-right? , "Mmm," she said.

"I know I'm taking a chance," I said. "I mean if this guy turns out to be the world's greatest stud, I might get hooked.

Know what I mean?"

"I know," she said.

"Then it would become a habit, and I'd turn into a bimbo.

But I don't think that's going to happen. I may not be brainy, but I know what's best for me. Greg has a lot of good qualities.

He's steady, a hard worker, and I guess he loves me in his own nutty way. And he brings home the paycheck. I'm not giving that up for a toss in the hay, even if the guy turns out to be Superman."

Cherry looked at me a moment. "I presume the man you're talking about is your next-door neighbor, the one you told me about."

"That's right. He's a boozer, which is another reason I can't see myself getting seriously involved. But he's fun, and that's something that's been missing from my life."

"By fun I presume you mean sexual pleasure."

"That's what I mean all right. Do you blame me?"

"No, Mabel, I don't blame you. I'm not going to tell you that you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing. It's your choice to make.

Do you want to continue seeing me?"

That question surprised me because after I decided I'd give Herman Todd a hump, I also decided I didn't need Dr. Noble anymore. I mean I had found a cure for what ailed me, hadn't I?

So why did I need a shrink? Besides, it cost plenty.

"I think I should stop," I admitted. "I really appreciate your listening to all my complaints. It's been a big help talking to a smart woman like you. But maybe I'll try things on my own for a while.

Okay?"

"of course," she said. "I understand completely. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever decide you'd like to talk to me again, I'll be here."

"You're a darling," I said.,You know that? Listen, doc, you got a guy?"

She flipped a hand back and forth. "Sort of," she said.

"Well, he's an idiot if he lets you get away," I told her.

She laughed. "Thank you, Mabel. I think so, too, but I'm not sure he does."

"What's the problem?" I asked her.

She looked at me in a strained kind of way. "Much the same as yours," she said finally. "With complications."