K'wan - Gutter

Gutter’s moment of reflection was broken up when he heard someone shout a warning. He looked over and saw a bloodied Major Blood weakly aiming his pistol. He started to dive for cover, but Major wasn’t aiming at him. He was aiming past him, at Satin.

The whole world moved in slow motion. Satin stared vacantly at Major Blood as he applied pressure to the trigger. The muzzle flashed and the bullets seemed to trickle from it. Without even thinking, Gutter made his move. The first bullet hit him in the arm, tearing through the muscles and snapping the bone. He was falling, but the bullet that entered just above his heart kept him standing. Gutter slid down the side of the Camry, leaving a bloody smear across the window.

“No!” Satin screamed as she watched the bullets tear into Gutter. Forcing her door open Satin crawled from the car to where Gutter was laying. She called his name over and over again, but he just stared at her. Blood oozed from Gutter’s nose and mouth, coating Satin’s hands and the front of her blouse. “Not again,” she whispered.

Gunn looked from his cousin to Major, who was smiling through bloodied teeth. Snatching a piece of broken wood from the wreckage of someone’s fence, Gunn marched over to where Major Blood was laid out. He looked down at the man, expecting him to bitch up, but Major Blood laughed.

“I always fill my contracts,” Major Blood croaked.

“And the Soladines never leave debts unsettled. This is for my daddy, bitch!” Using all his might, Gunn plunged the wood into Major’s chest. Using his foot, he pushed the wood deeper into the murderer of his father, squirting blood on his sneaker. Major twitched and died, still wearing that smug-ass grin.

WITH THEhelp of one of the homeys, Sharell came staggering from the house. She was bloodied and the contractions were kicking her ass, but she needed to get to her man. The sight before her almost made her break down. Gutter was laying on the ground with blood pouring from several holes in his body.

“No!” Sharell shrieked and made her way over to where Gutter was stretched out, surrounded by homeys. They moved aside and allowed Sharell into the circle.

Satin was kneeling over Gutter, crying uncontrollably. When she noticed Sharell she took her hand and they cried together. Even on the brink of death, Gutter tried to soothe her. He touched Sharell’s face, leaving a bloody print on her cheek. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak, but all that came out was more blood. Gunn barked for one of the men to get an ambulance, while he knelt beside the ladies and Gutter.

“You gonna be all right, cuz,” Gunn sobbed.

Gutter looked at his cousin and shook his head. He wanted to believe him, but he knew his time was at an end. Gutter had always heard stories about what death was like, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what would happen next.

He could feel the numbness starting in his toes and working its way up through his body. He held on to Sharell’s and Satin’s hands, but he could feel his strength fading. Danny-Boy stood over them with tear-filled eyes, while Gunn was rocking back and forth praying.

“Kenyatta Soladine, you better not die and leave me an unwed mother.” Sharell tried to get him to focus, but his eyes were already starting to glaze over. “Kenyatta? Gutter, stay with me!”

Gutter could hear her speaking, but couldn’t make out the words over the roar of the car’s engine. For a minute he thought it might be an ambulance, but he had never seen an ambulance sitting on twenty-inch rims. Gutter turned his head to see who else had come to say their goodbyes, but found that he couldn’t see through the bright light. When his eyes managed to focus, he found himself staring at the most beautiful electric-blue Cadillac, sitting on gold wires.

“Sup, cuz?” he whispered.

Sharell looked over her shoulder to see who he was talking to, but saw nothing. Satin, on the other hand, had an idea when she smelled the tilled earth.

“Give him my love.” Satin kissed Gutter’s hand, which was getting cold.

Lou-Loc was slumped low in the driver’s seat, wearing a white Los Angeles Dodgers cap. He peered out from behind his sunglasses and smiled at Gutter. No words were needed to convey the message. The madness had finally ended and no one else could hurt him. He was free.

I had broken down several times in the telling of my story, but I was surprised when I looked up and saw that Baby had tears in his eyes too. Cats like Baby didn’t cry easy, but I didn’t knock him for it. I knew what he felt in his chest, because I had felt the very same thing when I’d first heard the story. I hadn’t meant to upset him, but in a way I was glad I had told him the story; the burden didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

“You okay?” I touched his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m cool,” he lied. “It’s just that, I had no idea how wild them niggaz was. Ya pops dropped mad muthafuckas for his man.” He wasn’t boasting, just stating a fact. My father had killed many men, and ordered the deaths of even more over the blood debt.

After recalling the story I wasn’t sure if I hated my father for being a murderer, or pitied him for being a product of his environment. What I was sure of was that I knew both my parents better after what I’d learned, and had a newfound respect for my mother for what she’d lived through.

“Aren’t you going to finish the story?”

I turned around and saw my mother standing in the doorway. I’m not sure how long she had been standing there, but her face was streaked with tears.

“Mom, I-” She placed her finger over my lips.

“No, Kenyatta. It’s my story, so please let me tell it.” She sat on the edge of my bed between me and Baby. “Later that night, after the shooting, I went into labor. At five forty-nine the next morning I gave birth to my pride and joy.” She cupped my cheek gently. “A few months later, Satin pushed your little troublesome self out.” She smiled at Baby Loc. “Snake Eyes moved us down here and we tried to bury our pasts and focus on making sure you guys didn’t get lost in the shuffle.

“Kenyatta, when I looked at your little wrinkled face, it eased my pain just a little bit. In the moments I pushed you out of my womb, it was all a bad dream and my soul mate was still alive. Kenyatta, I never told you the whole truth about your father, because I didn’t want to soil your memory of him. Lord knows I loved that man more than anything, but it doesn’t change the fact that he walked with the devil, because it was what he had been programmed to do, same as the rest of some of these young guys. How could I tell my little girl that her father was a murderer?”

She must’ve noticed my face stiffen because she pulled me in for a hug. “Baby girl, your father had a beautiful soul, and had he had more time here I’m sure he’d have been a great husband and father, but the streets won’t give you up that easy, that’s why I’ve busted my ass to keep you away from that side of the coin. Me and Satin know better than anyone how strong the call can be.”

Tears had blurred my vision, but I managed to find my mother’s hand. “I’m sorry, Mom, I didn’t mean to hurt you with my story, I just thought it needed to be told.”

“And it does,” she agreed, which surprised me since she was ranting about it a few hours prior. “It wasn’t that you hurt me by telling the story, it just brought back some old demons. That night at the house, we all almost died. Me, you, Baby, Satin, those men had every intention on killing us and they would’ve had it not been for Gutter. In a sense, this story is his legacy. If those people want to publish it, I think you should let them.”