Simon Lelic: A Thousand Cuts

I don’t have time for this, Mr Szajkowski, the headmaster says and he didn’t. I could vouch for the fact that he didn’t. There was a big meeting that morning, you see. With the governors and some special guests. A very important meeting for the future of the school. The headmaster was excited. Truly, I’ve never seen him so excited. So it was very reasonable, really, that the headmaster should show Samuel to the door.

Samuel says, please, Headmaster. Please.

Mr Szajkowski, the headmaster says. Get a grip on yourself. You can’t go behaving like this in front of the children. You’re a teacher, man. Set an example.

And now it sounds like the headmaster is over by the door, and Samuel, Samuel’s shuffling around in front of the headmaster’s desk. Then there’s silence for a moment, neither one of them says anything. Until the headmaster speaks again. He says, well, Mr Szajkowski, I really must be getting on. And Samuel doesn’t reply. He doesn’t say anything, nothing that I can hear. He leaves, I suppose. I don’t hear him leave but I suppose that’s what he does because the door clicks and there’s quiet again and then the headmaster appears in my office.

So that’s it. I mean it’s not very helpful, I don’t suppose but, yes, that’s just about it. That was the last time I saw Samuel.

No. Wait a minute. I saw him later. Of course I saw him later. How silly of me. I saw him later to send him home. The headmaster asked me to, you see. After the police arrived. After they left, actually; after they’d told us about Elliot Samson.

Elliot’s a first-year here. Year seven we call them now. He was attacked, Inspector. Beaten up quite badly, by all accounts. It happened after school on the Friday but we didn’t hear about it until the Monday morning. Your colleagues arrived at about ten. Price, one of them was called. I didn’t catch the other one’s name. That’s when they told the headmaster. That’s when he and I found out. This was after the business with Samuel but before the governors’ meeting, although in the end that had to be postponed.

The headmaster and I are in my office. The police have just left, as I say. We’re both a little shocked, I suppose. I mean the headmaster, he looks dreadfully pale. And I say to the headmaster, what a terrible thing to have happened. Because it was. Terrible, just terrible. And the headmaster nods and doesn’t say anything and we’re both just looking at the floor.

Then the headmaster says, Janet. Have you heard any more from Samuel?

I say, no, Headmaster, not a thing. Nothing since first thing.

And the headmaster looks at me. He says, first thing? You mean you heard all that this morning? He’s looking at me like suddenly I’ve done something awful but I could hardly help overhearing, could I? And I’m standing there not knowing what to say and I say, no, well, yes, I mean the walls are very thin. And he sort of frowns. He says, what did you hear? What did you make of it?

I say, make of it, Headmaster? I couldn’t very well make anything of it. It was just Samuel. Just Samuel being Samuel.

And the headmaster says, yes. Well. Quite. Still, he says, and then he’s thinking. He says, Janet. Do me a favour, would you?

Of course, Headmaster. What is it?

He says, send Samuel home.

I say, home, Headmaster, and he says, home. Let’s see, he says. It’s almost lunchtime. He should be in the new wing, classroom three or four. Catch him there and send him home. Tell him to take some time off. The police, they’ll be back this afternoon to follow up on this Samson business. They want to talk to the children. To the staff too. I don’t think Samuel’s really up to that. Not in the state he’s in.

I say, no, Headmaster. You’re probably right.

Good, he says. Good. Oh, and Janet.

Yes, Headmaster?

What did you tell the governors? Did you reschedule?

I told them something urgent had come up. I told them I was waiting to talk to you.

See if you can set it up for tomorrow morning. Send my apologies and tell them what’s happened but make it clear that the assault took place outside of school. I don’t want them worrying. I don’t want them distracted.

Yes, Headmaster. I’ll do it right away, Headmaster.

After you’ve dealt with Samuel, he says.

I say, of course. After I’ve dealt with Samuel.

One more thing, he says. I suppose we should schedule an assembly. Better make it Wednesday. First thing. All the pupils are to be there. All the staff too. No exceptions, Janet.

And I say, yes, Headmaster. Will there be anything else, Headmaster?

But there isn’t anything else so that’s when I go looking for Samuel. He’s in classroom three, just as the headmaster said he would be. Although I could have found him without directions because the classroom, it’s utter chaos. The new wing – we call it the new wing but really it’s not so new any more, it must be ten years old at least – the new wing is right at the northern end of the building but I can hear Samuel’s class from the dining hall. He’s teaching year sevens. I say teaching but when I look through the glass he doesn’t seem to be doing very much of anything. He’s at his desk. He’s leant forwards on his elbows and he’s got one hand on his head. The children, they seem to be doing whatever they feel like doing: just chatting, most of them, but one or two are running about and there’s even one little girl standing on a chair, over by the window, I mean she’s virtually falling out. And I probably should have interrupted but I don’t. I just wait outside until the bell.

After a minute or two it goes and it’s barely finished ringing before the children are out the door. The ruckus seems to nudge Samuel from his daydream and slowly he gets to his feet. I’m waiting for him by the door.

I smile at him but he doesn’t smile back. He would have walked right past me if I hadn’t said his name.

Janet, he says. What do you want?

Which is not the way to talk to someone, is it? It’s not the way to talk to one of your colleagues and not what I would have expected of him. So I was rather brusque, I’m afraid. I say, the headmaster says to go home. He says to take some rest. He doesn’t expect you here this afternoon, nor tomorrow I assume.

Is that all? says Samuel and he’s already walking away.

I say, yes. I’m rather taken aback. I say, yes, then I say, no. Because I forgot to tell him about the assembly. So then I say, you’re to be here on Wednesday morning. The headmaster will be addressing the school, to talk about what happened to Elliot Samson. And Samuel can’t know what I’m talking about but he doesn’t even wait for me to explain. He just leaves. He looks at me, he looks me in the eye, and then he leaves.

And that, Inspector, was the last I saw of him. It was the very last time I saw him. I don’t suppose I’ve been very helpful but I don’t know what else I can tell you. I saw Samuel in the morning and he was upset about something but I couldn’t say what. It was unusual, his behaviour, but not that unusual, not for Samuel. Then the police arrived and there was this business about Elliot, which was terrible of course, truly dreadful. Although he is getting better, so I’m told. He’s in hospital but he’s doing fine, which is one piece of good news at least. But yes, the police arrived and then I spoke to the headmaster and we agreed it would be best if we sent Samuel home. So I found him and I did. And that’s it. That’s everything. I mean, if there’s anything else, I can’t think of it. Because I’d tell you if there was, of course I would. Because I do tend to talk, Inspector. I do tend to prattle on. You’ve probably realised that for yourself. Most people have to stop me. It’s not always easy once I get going but most people have to stop me from saying too much.