Dan Smith - Red Winter

‘C ommander? ’ She knitted her brow and narrowed her eyes. ‘No, that can’t… I… You’re a Chekist? A commander ?’

I opened my mouth, wishing there was an easy way to deal with this. Everything was going to hell now, and it felt like there was no way to stop it. There would be blood. I could see it coming as sure as I could see that winter was on us.

‘We should never have trusted him,’ Lyudmila said from the doorway behind me. I didn’t dare turn to look at her, but I knew she would be pointing her rifle at me.

‘Tell me it’s not true,’ Tanya said.

I shook my head.

‘Tell me.’

‘Let me shoot him,’ Lyudmila called. ‘Let me shoot them all.’

I knew she would do it if Tanya allowed her. She wouldn’t care that Oksana would probably die too, that in death my finger might tighten on the trigger.

The soldier was confused. This wasn’t what he had expected, dissent in our own ranks, and he dropped his hand, looking at each of us in turn, trying to decipher our relationship.

‘I was a Chekist,’ I said.

Tanya took another step back. ‘I knew there was something.’ She shook her head as if she didn’t believe it, or didn’t want to.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘And now?’ she asked. ‘What are you now?’

‘Just a man who wants his family back. You know that.’

Tanya stood with her mouth open and shook her head at me. She didn’t know what to do. She had always struggled to trust me, but somewhere inside, she had come to respect me at least. She had always suspected I was a Communist, a Red Army soldier, but she was prepared to put up with that because we shared a target and, I guessed, because she saw how I took care of Anna. She had not expected this, though. Now I represented everything she hated. I had moved from the countless ranks of the Red Army to the Cheka; the state security organisation that was the elite enforcer of Communism. And it was men like that, Chekists , who had murdered her family.

‘These are your men?’ she asked.

‘In a way.’

‘And Krukov? He was one of yours?’

‘Yes.’ I felt my grip relax a little on Oksana. She was unmoving now, seeing a possible reprieve, and my attention was elsewhere.

‘You were his commander?’ Tanya asked.

‘Yes.’

She shook her head in disbelief. ‘So it could have been you who came to my home? You might have—’

‘No.’ I stopped her as soon as I realised what she was about to say. She was imagining me in her village, seeing me murdering her children, her husband. ‘Not me,’ I said. ‘I never did that. Not that . It was Krukov, remember. Krukov .’

‘I should kill you right now.’ She raised her pistol and put it to the side of my head.

‘Kill him,’ Lyudmila urged.

‘Commander?’ The soldier began to move forward.

‘Move back,’ Tanya told him. ‘Now.’

The soldier stopped, looking from Tanya to me and then at Oksana. There was no hiding his anxiety, but I couldn’t be sure it was for me. He seemed more concerned that something might happen to Oksana. I still had the revolver to the underside of her chin.

‘What is this?’ he said. ‘I don’t understand. Who is this woman, Commander? I thought she was with you.’

‘She is with me,’ I told him.

‘But—’

‘Just do whatever she says.’

The soldier put up his hands and hesitated before stepping back. ‘Just… be calm.’

‘Killing me would achieve nothing,’ I told Tanya. ‘All that would be different is that I wouldn’t be here. It wouldn’t change anything else.’

‘I could live with that.’

‘Could you?’ I asked. ‘After what we’ve been through? Together? And what about my family?’

‘You might be lying about them.’

‘And Anna? Is she a lie too?’

‘You would do the same to me,’ she said.

‘No.’ I looked at her. ‘No, I wouldn’t.’

She kept the pistol steady, arm outstretched, the cold metal pressed to my head.

‘I’m on your side,’ I said to her. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you who I am, because you’d never have trusted me—’

‘I’d have killed you the day we met.’

‘I didn’t harm your family,’ I said.

‘How can I believe you? Why shouldn’t I just kill you now?’

‘Because you won’t leave my wife without a husband and my children without a father. Because that would make you just like Krukov . Because you won’t leave Anna with no one to look after her. Because we are friends.’ I fixed my eyes on hers. ‘And because we’re going find to Krukov together. Is that enough reasons? And there’s another – if you kill me now, you’ll have to kill all of these men too.’

Tanya glanced away and closed her eyes. When she looked back at me, the disappointment was clear, but she took the barrel of her pistol away from my head, letting her hand fall to her side. ‘So what now?’ she said.

‘What are you doing?’ Lyudmila asked from behind us. ‘What—’ But Tanya lifted a stiff hand at her, a frustrated and angry gesture telling her to stop.

When her comrade fell silent, Tanya tightened the hand into a fist and put it to her mouth, nodding at me to go on.

‘We carry on just as before,’ I said. ‘You, me, Lyudmila and Anna.’

‘But these are your men.’

‘I don’t even know these men.’

‘But he said—’

‘I know what he said, but my unit was small, depleted like this man’s unit was, and we were only merged with another one after… after what happened at…’

‘After your heroism at Grivino.’ The man who had saluted puffed out his chest with pride.

But I felt no pride. The massacre at Grivino had sealed my decision to desert.

‘For which you were awarded the Order of the Red Banner,’ he went on. ‘We are your men, Commander Levitsky.’

He had a good-looking face with high cheekbones and fierce eyes. It was too dark to see their colour, but I imagined they would be pale and cold and blue. He might have been a little younger than me, but the difference in the years between us was emphasised by his clean-shaven skin. I remembered him as an eager soldier trying to impress me, always following my orders to the letter, but that was as much as I knew about him. By then, most of my comrades-in-arms were killed, and the ones who remained were the ones I kept close – Krukov included, which was what made his viciousness all the more distressing. But this man was one of a number who had joined my unit shortly before I chose to become a fugitive. I hadn’t fought with them or formed any bond with them. They were nothing to me but men in uniform. I couldn’t explain that to Tanya right now, though, and hoped that she would trust me a little longer.

I watched him, all of us standing in the falling snow, trying to get some measure of him, but he gave little away. I wished I could see his eyes more clearly, but the darkness conspired against me in that. I felt that if I could look into his eyes, I would know him better. Standing to attention and saluting was not enough to guarantee loyalty. I had known soldiers inform on soldiers, commanders shot simply because one of their comrades accused them of unpatriotic thoughts. This man was as likely to deceive me as he was to support me.

‘You’ll have to earn my confidence,’ I said. ‘I don’t know you, and trust is hard to come by. So for now we’ll keep your weapons, and this woman and her family will remain my hostages. You will do as I order.’

‘Of course, Commander.’

I took a few paces back, keeping Oksana in front of me, still believing that she might be the only thing keeping me alive. These men had proclaimed their loyalty to me, but words were easy to say and this was the time of lies. I couldn’t believe anything anyone told me, and if these men were my enemies, they would say and do anything to get the better of me. I couldn’t take any risks. They would be well trained and vicious.