S. Watson: Second Life

I look at him. In the car behind him I can see another figure and with a jolt of relief I realize it’s Connor. He’s looking at me. He looks lost, bewildered. But he’s alive. Anna was lying. He’s safe. Hugh must’ve found him, wandering Gare du Nord, just as Anna had pretended to. Or perhaps he finally relented and turned his phone on, to call his dad.

‘Julia!’ says Hugh again. He skids to a halt. The police are ahead of him, they’ve crouched on the ground. There are guns pointing at me. I look at Anna.

‘She killed Kate!’ I say.

Anna speaks, too quietly for anyone but me to hear. ‘You’re a junkie and a slut and a murderer.’

I’m still looking at my husband. I remember what he’d said, on the phone on the way here. Connor’s father is dead .

He’d known. Kate must have told him. And he’d kept it to himself.

I look back at Anna. I know she’s telling the truth. She’s sent the pictures to Hugh.

She smiles.

‘I took it all. I’ve ruined your life, Julia, and now you’ll lose your son.’

‘No—’ I begin, but she silences me.

‘It’s over, Julia.’

I raise the gun. The police shout, Hugh says something, but I can’t make it out. I know she’s right. Whatever happens, it’s over now. There’s no way back. I’ve loved someone, someone who isn’t my husband. I’ve loved someone and I’ve shot him. I can’t go back from this. My life – my second life, the one I escaped into when I ran from Berlin – is over.

‘I should kill you,’ I say.

‘Then do it.’

I close my eyes. It’s what she wants. I know it is. And if I do she’s won. But I don’t care, now. I’ve lost Hugh, I’ll lose Connor. It’s irrelevant.

My hand is shaking, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I want to fire the gun, and at the same time I don’t. Maybe it’s not too late, maybe I can still prove it was Bella who killed my sister, that she tricked me into shooting Lukas. But I can’t work out what difference it will make; Lukas may have been many things, but he was no murderer. I’ve killed an innocent man; whether deliberately or not hardly seems to matter. I can’t live with myself either way.

I open my eyes. Whatever happens next, whether I shoot or not, it’s over.

Very special thanks to Clare Conville, Richard Skinner and Miffa Salter. For practical advice on the world of photography, my thanks go to Annabel Staff and to Stuart Sandford. Thanks to my editors around the world, in particular Larry Finlay, Claire Wachtel, Michael Heyward and Iris Tupholme. Thanks to my family and friends, in particular to Nicholas Ib.

The character name ‘Paddy Renouf’ was supplied by its original owner, who won the right to have his name featured in this book during a charity auction to raise funds for Kelling Hospital, Norfolk. The character is entirely fictional.

S J Watson’s first novel, Before I Go To Sleep , is a phenomenal international success. A bestseller around the world, it won the Crime Writers’ Association Award for Best Debut Novel and the Galaxy National Book Award for Crime Thriller of the Year. The film of the book, starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth and Mark Strong, and directed by Rowan Joffe, was released in September 2014.

S J Watson was born in the Midlands and now lives in London.

First published in Great Britain in 2015 by Doubleday an imprint of Transworld Publishers

Copyright © Lola Communications Ltd 2015

S J Watson has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

This book is a work of fiction and, except in the case of historical fact, any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Every effort has been made to obtain the necessary permissions with reference to copyright material, both illustrative and quoted. We apologize for any omissions in this respect and will be pleased to make the appropriate acknowledgements in any future edition.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Version 1.0 Epub ISBN 9781448127481

ISBN 9780857520197

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

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