Simon Green - The Dark Side of the Road

‘Eavesdropping?’ he snarled. ‘About what I’d expect from your sort. Hear anything good? You’d better be careful, Jones. The mood I’m in, I could easily punch your head in.’

‘No,’ I said. ‘You couldn’t.’

And there must have been something in my voice, or my eyes, because Roger hesitated, and then barged right past me. And kept going. I heard him stomping up the stairs, heading back to his room, slamming his feet down like a child in a tantrum who wants everyone to know how upset he is.

I carefully closed the door behind me. Penny was standing with her back to the fire, her arms tightly folded, glaring angrily at nothing in particular. Her face was pale, apart from two angry red blotches on her cheeks. She looked at me suddenly, almost defiantly.

‘You mustn’t mind Roger. He’s finally found something he really wants that he can’t have, and he isn’t used to that. He doesn’t know how to deal with it.’

‘Some things are worth fighting for,’ I said.

‘He wouldn’t know how,’ said Penny. She looked at me, consideringly. ‘You look like you might know how to fight for someone you wanted.’

‘I don’t do that any more,’ I said. ‘I am a man alone. I live for my job.’

‘Yes …’ said Penny. ‘Working for the Colonel; dear missing stepbrother James.’

‘Yes,’ I said.

Our eyes met, and I felt a definite spark in the air. And all I could think was: No. I can’t. This is no time to be making an old mistake.

Penny moved slowly forward to stand before me. ‘James is Daddy’s only son, by his first marriage to Diana. I am Daddy’s only daughter, from his second marriage to Melanie, Mummy dearest. I inherit everything; James gets nothing. Mummy insisted, right after I was born. She made ever such a fuss until Daddy agreed to change his will in my favour. I have never been consulted in the matter. But that’s Mummy for you; she’s spent most of her life doing good for me, from a distance. And that, right there, is all you need to know about this family.’

‘How did the Colonel feel about all this?’ I said.

‘Didn’t give a damn, as I understand it,’ said Penny. ‘You see, I’ve never met my mysterious stepbrother. James left home years before I came along. Left, and never came back. He’s always maintained a strict distance between his life and that of his family. You must know him better than us … Do you know why he left, Ishmael?’

‘I only work for the Colonel,’ I said. ‘He sends me places, and I do things. Good things, mostly. Things that need doing. I’ve been with him fifteen years, and he never mentioned his family once.’

‘Is he a good man?’ said Penny. She seemed honestly curious.

‘I would say so, yes.’

‘But you’re not going to tell me what you do, or what he does?’

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘It’s more than your life’s worth.’

‘A man of many secrets,’ said Penny, admiringly. ‘Do you work for Intelligence?’

‘Not as far as I know,’ I said.

We shared a smile and, without either of us having to say anything, tacitly agreed to change the subject.

‘There was so much excitement when James announced he’d be coming home for Christmas,’ said Penny. ‘For the first time in God knows how many years. No warning. Just a telephone call out of the blue, yesterday morning. I’d never seen Daddy so animated … Stomping up and down, waving his arms around, so happy and so full of life … And all I could think was: he never gets that happy about me coming home. But then, James has always meant more to him than I ever could. I may be Daddy’s little girl, but you know how it is, with fathers and sons.’

‘Not really,’ I said, but she wasn’t listening.

‘It’s hard to compete with the perfect memory of an absent brother. Mummy … wasn’t nearly so happy at the news. But she knew better than to try and talk Daddy out of it. Some things Daddy just won’t be moved on.’

‘How about the others?’ I said as she paused for breath. ‘How did they feel about the Colonel joining the gathering this year?’

‘Mostly curious,’ said Penny. ‘Quite keen to see this mysterious long-lost prodigal son for themselves. Diana, on the other hand … I have to say, I may be wrong, but she didn’t seem nearly as happy at the thought of seeing her long missing son again. Anyway, James arrived here late last night. After we’d all got tired of waiting up and gone to bed. Daddy stayed up, of course. So he was there to greet James. Apparently they talked for ages, and then James retired to his room. Tired out after his long drive, I suppose.’

‘So no one here has seen the Colonel, except for your father?’ I said. ‘And that was late last night.’

‘You’re worried about him, aren’t you?’ said Penny.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Something’s not right. I can feel it. The Colonel can take care of himself against most things, but … Do you have any idea why he stayed away for so long? Was there a row?’

‘No one knows,’ said Penny. ‘Except Daddy, and he won’t talk about it. But there was no disguising how pleased he was, just at the thought of James coming home at last. Mummy wasn’t pleased. She’s always been worried Daddy might change his mind and disinherit me in favour of his firstborn, James.’

‘But you’re not worried,’ I said.

‘No … I’m not. How can you tell?’

‘I see many things,’ I said. ‘I can also tell … you don’t give a damn about your father’s money.’

‘Well, no,’ said Penny. ‘I have my own life. And my own money. I work in London, in publishing. And I’m very happy there, thank you. Mummy shouldn’t worry so much … Daddy would make sure she was looked after, whatever happened. Just like he did with Diana. But Mummy wants all this … The Manor and the grounds and everything. Being Lady of the Manor and queen of the local scene. She just loves all that.’

‘And you don’t.’

‘Frankly, darling, I couldn’t give a rat’s arse for all … this .’

I wouldn’t have thought it possible to get so much contempt into one word. Penny’s face cleared, and she smiled brightly at me.

‘I was looking forward to meeting James. My invisible half-brother. You know, he always sent me a birthday card and a Christmas card. Every year without fail, since I was a little girl. Never missed once. That was nice of him. He didn’t have to do that, for a little stepsister he never even met.’

‘You said the Colonel only spoke to your father,’ I said. ‘But Jeeves said he spoke to him.’

‘I didn’t know that,’ said Penny. ‘Why? Does it matter?’

‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Is Jeeves your usual butler?’

‘Hell, no!’ Penny said immediately. ‘He creeps the hell out of me! I have to fight down the urge to run every time I see him coming. Daddy couldn’t get any of the usual servants to stay over this Christmas. Had to go to some agency. For a while it looked like we were going to have to fend for ourselves. I was quite looking forward to seeing that … And then Jeeves turned up at the very last minute, with Cook in tow, and saved the day. He is … very efficient.’

‘So you’ve never met Jeeves before.’

‘No. Is that significant?’

‘Beats me,’ I said. ‘I’m still getting the feel for this place and this family.’

‘And how do you feel?’ said Penny. ‘About … us?’

‘I’m worried that the Colonel has disappeared so completely,’ I said. ‘Jeeves seems very certain he isn’t anywhere in the house.’

‘Then let’s go outside and look for him!’ Penny said brightly. ‘We can take a walk through the grounds, see if he’s hiding anywhere.’

‘In this weather?’ I said.