Simon Green - The Dark Side of the Road

‘The house is secure,’ said Jeeves. ‘I’ve been up and down and back and forth till my feet ache, and the whole place is closed up tighter than a fly’s arse. There’s no sign of James anywhere. His belongings are still in his room, but his bed hasn’t been slept in.’

‘I’m worried about James,’ said Walter. He was scowling so hard that it must have hurt his face, and he was wringing his bony hands together so tightly that the knuckles showed white. ‘He can’t just have disappeared! He has to be somewhere!’

‘Not in the house,’ Jeeves said flatly.

‘He can’t just have left!’ said Walter. ‘Not after making such a fuss about turning up here this Christmas, after so many years away.’

‘His clothes are still here,’ said Jeeves.

‘And then there’s his man, Ishmael, turning up out of nowhere … What do you make of him?’

‘I took the opportunity to search through his belongings very thoroughly,’ said Jeeves. ‘Almost turned his suitcase inside out looking for hidden compartments … His clothes are cheap and nasty, and his bits and pieces are distinctly downmarket — so bland as to be utterly characterless. No weapons, no interesting devices, no surprises at all. Nothing to suggest he’s anything other than what he appears. But given that he always refers to James as the Colonel, and the practised way he answers every question without ever giving anything away …’

‘Yes,’ said Walter. ‘I know. He’s too ordinary to be true. And no ordinary man could have made it all the way here from London, through this atrocious weather.’

‘Not in that piece of shit he was driving,’ said Jeeves.

‘My son would never have ordinary people working for him. Why is he here, Jeeves? Why did my son want him here, so urgently?’

‘We don’t know for sure that this Ishmael Jones really is who he says he is,’ said Jeeves. ‘We only have his word for it. Surely your son would have told you that one of his people was on his way?’

‘Perhaps he intended to,’ said Walter. ‘Before he disappeared. Ishmael is the sort of man I’d expect to find working for my son.’

‘I could always take him to one side,’ said Jeeves. ‘Beat some answers out of him.’

‘No!’ Walter said sharply. ‘No. Just … keep an eye on him.’

‘What do you want me to do — about James?’

‘You’ve done all you can.’ Walter looked down at his hands and seemed surprised to find them wrung so tightly together. He pulled them apart with an effort. He looked older, frailer. ‘We’ll just have to hope James turns up. Eh? Yes … And he’d better have a bloody good explanation when he does!’

They both went their separate ways, disappearing into the depths of the great old house. I looked quickly around for Khan and Melanie, but they were gone. Either their little chat was already at an end, or they’d decided to continue it somewhere more private. Pity … But I did spy Diana and Sylvia, standing before the front door. Diana hauled it open, straining hard with both hands to get the heavy weight moving, and then the two women stood side by side, staring out the open doorway at the thick falling snow. Diana hugged herself tightly and shivered. They thought themselves alone and unobserved, and free to speak freely; so again I took the opportunity to listen in.

‘I had hoped the storm would have died down by now,’ said Diana, ‘so we could leave. But look at it! Awful weather … Worse, if anything. I can’t even tell which of those snowy burial mounds is our car.’

‘Why do you want to leave?’ said Sylvia. ‘Aren’t you having a good time? Dropping a barbed bon mot here and a home truth there; sticking it to Walter and making little Mel squirm?’

‘I don’t seem to have the stomach for it, this year,’ said Diana. ‘Sometimes reliving the past feels more like picking at a scab. Makes me feel old … And I hate that. You know what, Sylvia? It isn’t that, not really … It was seeing that delightful young boy, Ishmael. He reminds me so much of my dear Adam, sweet folly of my misspent youth. I never thought to see his face again … I wonder where Adam is, now …’

Sylvia closed the door firmly and turned to Diana. ‘You need a nice lie down, dear, before dinner. Get some rest, get your strength back, and work on some really catty comments to throw at Mel over dessert. Come along. I’ll see you to your room.’

‘I wish James was here,’ Diana said fretfully as the two women came back down the hall, heading for the stairs. ‘I was so looking forward to seeing my son again, after all these years …’

‘I know, dear,’ said Sylvia. ‘I know.’

She helped Diana up the stairs like a nurse supporting an invalid charge. They didn’t see me at the foot of the stairs, standing in the shadows. I stayed put, leaning back against the wall, thinking. The damage I do to people’s lives, without even trying.

Finally, I headed for the drawing room. I pushed open the door and then stopped abruptly in the doorway, as I realized I’d just walked in on a blazing row. Penny and Roger were standing face to face in the middle of the room, hands clenched into fists, so caught up in their quarrel that they didn’t even know I was there. So of course I remained where I was, and watched and listened with great interest.

‘Stop shouting at me!’ said Penny.

‘I have to!’ said Roger. ‘It’s the only way I can get you to listen to me!’

Penny made an exasperated sound and made to leave the drawing room. Roger immediately moved to block her way. Penny looked at him dangerously. ‘Roger, darling; get the hell out of my way right now, or I swear to God I will kick you so hard in the groinal area that your balls will eventually come down somewhere in Scotland!’

‘What balls?’ Roger said bitterly. ‘You cut them off when you threw me over, for no good reason.’

‘Don’t be dramatic, Roger. It doesn’t suit you.’

‘You’re not going anywhere till we’ve talked this out!’ said Roger. ‘You think I want this? You think this is the way I want it to be between us? I hate this! We used to be so happy together … You don’t know how miserable I’ve been since you walked out on me …’

‘You don’t have to be miserable,’ said Penny, her voice softening despite herself. ‘Just admit it’s over. Let it go, and move on. Find someone else.’

‘Like you have?’ said Roger.

‘What are you talking about?’ said Penny.

‘I saw you; I saw you staring at that Ishmael character …’

‘Oh, for God’s sake!’

‘You never did explain why you broke off our engagement. Or why you won’t give me another chance! I can change, I know I can! You know I still love you, Penny …’

‘No, you don’t, Roger,’ Penny said firmly. ‘You want me. That’s different.’

‘I can be whatever you want me to be,’ said Roger, not even trying to hide the desperation in his voice. ‘Just tell me what you want …’

‘I will not discuss this any further,’ said Penny. ‘I have said all I’m going to say. And if you’re wise, you’ll leave it at that.’

‘I could make you want me again,’ said Roger, drawing himself up to his full height and doing his best to look commanding. ‘There are things I could do, people I know … You have no idea of what I’m capable of. No idea at all of how the real world works.’

‘And you have no idea of how a real woman works,’ said Penny. ‘Or you wouldn’t be wasting my time and yours with this nonsense. I am not the kind of woman you’re used to; the kind you can buy, or intimidate. Now get out of my sight, Roger! Before I forget the few things I still like about you.’

Roger turned abruptly and started away from her. He almost bumped into me, still standing in the doorway. He started to apologize, and then recognized who I was. His face reddened as he realized I must have heard everything.