Steve Alten - Vostok

So’s I teld the Colonel, “Look, lad, I love Zach like a brother, but seein’ how I’m the only qualified diver on this entire bloody continent, ye’ll be payin’ me triple fer my services, with half tha’ money wired intae my account before I climb intae that sardine can of yers.” And he agrees without batting an eye.

Vacendak had the money wired intae my bank account before we landed in the middle of nowhere, on a desert of ice beneath a night sky sparkling with a billion stars. I climbed out into minus fifty-seven-degree temperatures and a wind that caught the open cargo hold and nearly blew the chopper over. Two men in orange extreme weather gear grabbed my arms and led me tae a configuration of three trailers positioned bumper-to-bumper to form a triangle. In the space that separated them was a three-story, silo-shaped enclosure. There was also two trucks holding them large satellite dishes.

They led me inside the nearest trailer and through a control room to the central area, which was the launch site for the Valkyrie sled. The SAM suit hung upright on its support post like a scarecrow, its aluminum skin reflecting the portable overhead lights. As the NASA lads stripped me down tae my thermals, a serious-looking woman with brown hair and blonde highlights joined us.

“Mr. MacDonald? My name is Ashlynn Archer, and I’m here to brief you.”

“I’ve already been briefed, lass,” says I, “but do it all again if ye think it’ll help.”

“I’m not an engineer,” she says. “I’m an animal behaviorist.”

Sorry, Brandy, must’ve dozed off. Standing inside the SAM suit in this coffin is nae tha’ bad. Sorta like bein’ in a grinding, lurching down-elevator. However, there’s lights and snacks and water inside my SAM suit, and a video monitor that plays movies. I fell asleep watching Caddyshack .

There’s a window above my head. All’s I can see is meltwater and ice and darkness. My helmet is off, held loosely and tilted so I can see the depth gauge, which reads 3,682 meters. Guess I’m nearly—

— ahhh…! Bloody hell! I jist went intae freefall oot the ass-end of the bloody ice sheet. Cable must’ve caught. Now we’re swaying and lowering through whit looks like a gray fog.

Thankfully, my left knee caught the helmet. I’m puttin’ it on now. I’ll record my internal communications and replay them for ye on the return trip, God willing.

“Mr. MacDonald, how was the ride?”

“Tha’ last drop near give me a heart attack. How’s aboot ye call me True, and I’ll call ye Ashlynn.”

“Mister — True — we’re lowering you to the surface. Let us know the moment you touch down, and we’ll do our best to keep your pod upright to make it easier to exit. When you’re ready to exit, let us know and we’ll open the pod’s bay doors.”

“Understood. Okay, I’m doon, but I’m leaning. Ashlynn, darlin’, have yer team take up a meter of slack before I fall oot and cannae get up.”

“Stand by. How is that?”

“Better. Thank ye, darlin’. Ye can open the doors now. Activating my night vision. Looks like I landed in a gully… shite.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I think ye dropped me intae the river bed. I jist sank knee-deep in mud and sand. Where’s the bloody sub?”

“Eleven meters on heading two-six-three. Before you head out, be sure to bring the air tanks with you.”

“I’m opening the storage container now. Six air tanks on a sled. Ye NASA folk think of everything.”

“True, don’t forget the fiber-optic cable. The adapter plug is attached to the back of the Valkyrie.”

“Got it. I’m proceeding on heading two-six-three. Stand by.”

“True, you’re breathing very hard. Your heart rate is over one-seventy.”

“Try… walking… through sand… up tae yer knees… in a metal suit.”

“Can you see the sub? It should be right in front of you.”

“It’s not here. Wait… there’s somethin’ buried. I think it’s the sub. Ashlynn, the sub’s covered. Can’t find the arse end tae load the air. Give me a moment tae rest.”

“No! True, listen to me. There’s a good chance they’re already out of air. If this rescue is going to happen—”

“Bloody hell.”

“What is it?”

“There’s water streaming around my legs. Holy shyte, looks like the beginning of a flash flood.”

“True, the tide’s rising. In a few minutes you’ll be underwater.”

“Water’s clearing the debris off the sub, but I’m sinking deeper. Where’s the bloody outlet for the fiber-optic…? There ye are. Ashlynn, be a good lass and take up the slack from the cable before my ride home’s washed away.”

“Acknowledged. True, describe what’s happening.”

“The water’s knee-high. I nearly lost the air tanks beneath the sub. Plug’s now locked intae the outlet. Ye should have power to the sub.”

“Yes, we’ve reestablished contact. We’re opening the chassis now.”

“Okay, lass, I’m in. Six empty tanks. Popping out the cylinder in slot number one… tha’ was easy. Bugger! Havin’ trouble lifting the replacement with this bloody clasper. Come on, ye bastard. Okay, tank one’s connected.”

“Roger that. Opening tank one now. Good job, darlin’.”

“You sweet vixen. I ken ye liked me. Stand by, this river’s startin’ tae float the boat. Tank two and three are in. Talk tae me, sweetie. Tell ol’ True whit ye like aboot me.”

“I like my men rough and tough.”

“An’ I like my women wit’ blonde streaks in their hair. Four’s in. Ah, shyte! Come on!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Five’s jammed, and the water’s gettin’ deeper.”

“Skip five. Replace six and get the hell out of there!”

“Right. So? Does the carpet match the drapes?”

“Get back up here and maybe you’ll find out.”

“Ugh. The water’s pushin’ up the back of my SAM suit, pinning me tae the sub. Okay, six is in. Seal the — ahhhh… bloody hell!”

“True, are you okay?”

“I’m neck-deep underwater… both legs stuck in the mud. The current’s too strong.”

“Don’t fight it; use it to push you up the bank. True?”

“Stand by. Okay… okay. Found some rocks. I’m underwater, fightin’ my way up the northern bank…. so tired. Head’s above water again… twenty paces from the Valkyrie. Everything’s danglin’ above the river. Ashlynn, I’m going tae wade downstream. When I say, get yer lads to let out the slack, and I’ll try tae grab hold of the bloody laser.”

“True, don’t go out too far. You’ll get swept away.”

“Fortunately, old True’s got a lot of experience fighting currents. Okay, darlin’, I’m in the shallows… let it oot slowly… slowly… tha’s good. Here comes the Valkyrie… got it. Ashlynn, give me five meters of slack, so I can lay everything oot on the river bank and realign the cable.”

“You sound exhausted. Let me walk you through it. Tell me when you have everything laid out.”

“Done. But I cannae stand much longer.”

“True, don’t rest now. Can you see the cable? Disconnect it from the pod, using the snap hook.”

“Bloody hell, the thing’s frozen tight. River’s rising up the bank. Might… might have tae take a raincheck on us, darlin’.”

“True, focus! Align your pincers and open the snap hook. Do it!”

“Okay, I did it. Now whit?”

“Now you need to snap it in place on the Valkyrie. There’s an eye-bolt located just behind its laser… True?”

“Got it. Whit’s next?”

“Unclip the cable connecting the sled to the bottom of the pod. Rotate the pod 180 degrees, then reconnect the cable. This way you’ll make the ascent head-up… True? True, don’t go to sleep on me!”