Мишель Роуэн - Angel with Attitude

Helpless.

Afraid.

Ever so slightly turned on.

No, scratch that, she thought. Just the first two.

“I’m going back to Heaven,” she said firmly.

“No you’re not. You’re going to be with me. I’m going to take you to a place that can be whatever you want it to be. Don’t be fooled by what you’ve heard. It’s wonderful, really.” He pressed her up against the wall, his body a hot line against her own. “Just say the word, little angel.”

Not good. Not good at all.

She sniffed. “I do need to tell you something . . . Nathaniel.”

“Yes? I’m listening.”

“I’m . . . I think I’m going to sneeze again.”

He took an immediate step back, letting go of her completely.

But there was no sneeze. She didn’t like to lie if she could help it, but in this case she was willing to let it pass.

Nathaniel looked very confused, then fixed her with a small scowl. “You don’t have to make this so difficult, you know.”

“Neither do you. You can just move on. Leave me be. I’m sure there are others for you to tempt.”

He shook his head. “I don’t understand this. You should already be mine.”

“No, I shouldn’t be.”

He frowned at her. “This isn’t over, you know. I’ll be back.”

“I won’t be here.”

He gave her a smile that looked forced, since the frown still furrowed his otherwise perfect forehead. “Oh, yes you will be. See you soon, Valerie Grace.”

Then he vanished in a column of flame.

She scooted over to pick up her dropped bag of NyQuil and clutched it tightly to her chest as she stood all alone in the alley for a moment. She knew he wasn’t lying. He’d be back. She had a suspicion that demons never gave up easily. If they failed on an assignment, there would probably be hell to pay.

Hell to pay. She was so funny.

She laughed until it turned into sobs that echoed softly off the cold brick walls.

Heaven had to take her back. She didn’t want to have to face Nathaniel ever again.

“What do you mean I can’t come back?” Val wailed.

“What part of ‘you can’t come back’ don’t you understand?”

The voice was small, girlish and childlike, but it spoke in a commanding, matter-of-fact manner.

“But—”

“The answer is final.”

Val stared at the child psychic, through whom she was speaking to an angel by the name of

Garry—assistant guardian to the gates of Heaven. He did most of the PR work Up There.

They were acquaintances. Friends even. They’d, at times, commiserated about their Heavenly jobs. Garry usually complained that he was still only the “assistant” guardian after an eternity of doing the same job. Val simply listened and smiled. That’s why she was thrilled that he was the one Seraphina ended up channeling. But now he spoke to her in a condescending, businesslike manner, very unlike the way a friend should sound.

Maybe the memory of her relationship with Garry was faulty, she thought. Lately her memories had been faulty a lot, and were fading quicker than she ever would have expected.

She was depending on her notes to see her through this until things went back to normal.

And her chance to get back to normal was right here, sitting cross-legged in front of her.

The nine-year-old psychic wore a pink Powerpuff Girls T-shirt on top of blue jeans that had little daisies embroidered on the pockets. Her blond hair was done in perfect ringlets. She sucked on a lollipop—purple for grape-flavored—before the lights had dimmed and she’d gone into her white-eyeballed trance.

Up until then Val wasn’t sure this was all for real. But the white-eyeballed thing would be pretty hard to fake.

The office they sat in was more like a lounge, if a child had designed it with a very high budget. A big screen TV sat opposite them hooked up to several high-end video game players.

The couch Val sat on looked like a large fluffy pink flower. The carpeting was white and pink and green, with swirls and dots. The air freshener smelled like licorice.

Despite the odd surroundings, there was no doubt she was talking to Garry. Val’s memory was iffy, but she felt certain it was him. The question was, why was he giving her such a hard time?

“Garry,” she leaned over so her gaze was in line with Seraphina’s white eyeballs. “Come on.

We’re buddies, right?” She waited for confirmation but there was nothing. “There’s got to be something you can do.”

“There isn’t.”

“But I didn’t do anything wrong!”

The eyeballs blinked. “Really? Is that what you think?”

“Of course.”

The eyeballs shifted back and forth as if the little girl were reading something. “No, the scrollwork is all in order. You were kicked out for a very good reason, Valerie. A very good reason indeed.”

This news felt like a slap in the face. “What? What did I do? Whatever it was, I’m sure it was just an accident.”

The eyeballs rolled. “This was no accident.”

“What was it?”

“Okay”—a corner of Seraphina’s rosebud mouth twisted up—“I’ll give you a hint. There are seven of them, and you’re guilty of one. A big one.”

She shook her head, which had started to throb. “Seven? Seven what?”

“Come on. You know this.”

“Stop playing games with me, Garry. I mean it.”

“Seven . . . sev . . . ” Garry sighed when she didn’t immediately pick up on his verbal clues.

“Gosh, Valerie, you used to be way brighter than this. Being human really dumbs you up, doesn’t it? Seven deadly sins. You know, the Big Seven?”

Her mouth dropped open. “But an angel can’t commit a deadly sin or they’re . . .”

“Uh-huh. Bingo.”

She racked her brain. A deadly sin? Her? Impossible. “Which one?”

“I’ll give you another clue.”

“Garry, this is getting annoying. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this channel open and I need you to—”

“It starts with a P.” Seraphina grinned perfect little white teeth.

“P?” Val thought about that, and ticked off the sins one by one in her mind. Not greed, or gluttony, or sloth . . . she certainly kept busy enough Up There to not be accused of laziness . .

. not wrath or envy . . . not lust . . .

She paused on that one. No, she hadn’t met Nathaniel until after she’d fallen.

But that was beside the point.

“Pride?” she finally said. “Are you kidding me?”

Seraphina nodded her head and her flaxen curls bounced jauntily. “You got it. But being that it’s the only P sin on the list, it was a bit of a gimme.”

“Pride?” she repeated, incredulously.

“You know what they say about pride, don’t you Val?”

She shook her head, feeling numb.

“It comes before a fall. Get it? A fall?”

Val wondered, if she wrapped her hands around the little girl’s neck, would Garry feel it in

Heaven? She managed to restrain herself.

“Yes,” Garry continued after he’d finished chuckling at his less-than-amusing joke.

“According to your file, the pride you felt doing your angel duties, especially after winning the angel-of-the-month award a while back, was enough to get you tossed. Sorry, I’m just reporting what it says here.”

Her notebook was out on her lap and she jotted down what he was saying. “I really won the angel-of-the-month award?”

He sighed. “Yes. I can’t believe that you don’t remember that. You went on and on about it for ages.”

“And what exactly did I do again? My job?”

A heavier sigh now. “After the humans came through the gate and finished with me, you showed them around Heaven. Made them feel welcome. Listened to the stories of their lives without looking too bored.”