Мишель Роуэн - Tall, Dark & Fangsome

The Basics

My name is Sarah Dearly.

I am a vampire.

But don’t be afraid. I don’t bite.

Actually, scratch that. Recently I do bite, but not because I want to.

Three months ago I was turned into a vampire by an amorous and misguided—not to mention creepy—blind date. Shortly after he tried to bury me (don’t ask), some vampire hunters came by and staked him dead. They wanted to stake me as well, but I ran away and straight into the arms of a super-hot, suicidal six-hundred-year-old vampire named

Thierry de Bennicoeur. French name. No accent, though. Did I mention hot?

Angsty though he was, I fell for him. Hard.

Bad things happened. Good things happened.

Mostly bad things, though.

I learned that hunters were everywhere and focused on killing vampires—even though we’re not evil. Or dead. Or undead. We’re exactly like humans except for the drinking-

blood-to-exist thing, which, unfortunately, is true. And a couple other things like not being able to eat solid food. We have increased strength and senses. We don’t have reflections in mirrors, which, to say the least, is inconvenient. Alcohol no longer has any effect on us, alas. But we have beating hearts and can go out during the day, even though the sun tends to get a bit bright without dark sunglasses.

Oh, the immortality thing is true, too. That is, if somebody doesn’t stake us.

So, even though we’re relatively normal, hunters want us dead. They’re the bad guys.

One of those hunters tried to kill me and I shot him in self-defense. Yes, shot him with a gun. No fangs involved. The incident succeeded in giving me the false reputation of slaughtering a whole bunch of hunters and the catchy title of “Slayer of Slayers.” Some people are scared of me, some impressed, and others find it a big fat challenge to sink a stake through my heart.

One of those hunters is Gideon Chase. He’s the leader of all the vampire hunters, and a billionaire who was considered quite a ladies’ man before he slayed a demon and was burned by hellfire. The hellfire scarred him horribly and is slowly and painfully dragging him, body and soul, to hell.

Now he wants my help.

Because, thanks to a couple life-or-death situations, I’ve had to drink the blood of two master vampires—

Thierry being one of them—I now have some sort of supercharged blood. This allegedly means that any vampires I sire will be very strong. Gideon is under the impression this means that I can heal him if I turn him into a vamp and keep him from his one-way ticket to hell, but it has to be done along with a ritual under the next full moon.

And if I don’t do what he says, he’ll murder everybody I love.

Obviously, I agreed to help him out.

He made me end my budding relationship with Thierry because Gideon’s afraid that I’ll reveal his nefarious plans to him in a private moment. But my attempted break-up didn’t work. We’re still together, only now we have to keep it a secret from everyone, even my closest friends. If Gideon finds out that I didn’t do what he demanded… well, he simply can’t find out.

The guy is evil. Literally.

Last, but certainly not least, I’m dealing with a curse that turns me into a nightwalker—a vicious, neck-biting, sun-fearing, sultry vixen of a vampire (in other words: so not me)— unless I’m wearing an ugly but effective magic-infused gold chain.

I’m trying to stay positive that everything will work out in the end, but it currently sucks to be me.

The pun is fully intended.

Okay, Sarah, try not to freak out,” Amy said.

That’s not really a good opener—not when you’re already close to the edge like I was.

My two best fanged and fabulous friends, Amy and George, had taken me out for drinks at a place called Darkside, the only secret vampire nightclub in Toronto currently open for business.

I’d known Amy for years, since we were both nonvampiric personal assistants—a day job she still held. I met George three months ago after I was sired into my new life as a vampire. They were trying to help me mend my broken heart and shattered self-esteem after my big, nasty break-up with my master vampire boyfriend, Thierry, a week and a half ago.

Unfortunately, since alcohol didn’t affect vampires other than remaining a tasty treat, I was on my third Tequila Sunrise and not feeling any differently about life, the universe, and, well… everything.

“Perky” was no longer my middle name. Not that it ever was.

I eyed Amy cautiously. “What are you talking about?”

She didn’t reply. Amy’s red-lipsticked mouth was frozen in a slightly scared-looking smile.

She wore her short, platinum-blond hair like a Papa-Don’t-Preach-era Madonna to contrast her low-cut, black sequined top and tight black skirt.

When I glanced at George, he shrugged. He looked like a male model with shoulder-

length, sandy-colored hair he currently had back in a low ponytail. He had chiseled features, a square jaw, and under his tight white shirt and black leather pants I knew he had a body worth crying over. Crying, mostly because he batted for the other team. Not that I’d ever harbored any unrequited fantasies about George. Not a chance. I had enough trouble with men without adding him to the list.

But he was mighty pretty.

“She’s definitely going to freak,” he confirmed.

Before I could ask for any more details about this predicted freak-out, a man approached the bar at which we were belly-up on rather uncomfortable stools. He was tall, built, attractive, and wore a dark blue button-down shirt exactly the same color as his eyes. His gaze was entirely fixed on yours truly.

I tensed at the unexpected attention.

“You’re Sarah, right?” he asked.

“Uh…”

“I’m Jeremy.” He smiled wide enough to show off his shiny white fangs. “Amy’s told me all about you, but your reputation precedes you, of course.”

I flicked a confused glance at Amy, and then back at Jeremy. “Um…”

His grin widened. “Maybe we can get a private table so we can get to know each other a bit better.”

I shot Amy a horrified look as it all started to click in.

Was this a… a blind date?

Oh, hell no.

Amy cleared her throat nervously at my expression. “Jeremy works at the office in the HR department. When I realized he’s a vampire, too, I knew you two would be absolutely adorable together. So I kind of asked him to join us here tonight. You know, without telling you first.”

The last blind date Amy had set up for me resulted in a hickey I’d remember forever since the guy had bitten me and turned me into a vampire. Needless to say, I wasn’t a big fan of impromptu setups with strangers. Especially ones orchestrated by Amy.

“Great to meet you… uh, Jeremy, was it?” I plastered a smile on my face while my eyes tracked back to my Cupid-playing blond friend. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Amy? In private?”

She nodded tightly. “Mmm hmm.”

“We’ll be back in just a sec. Talk amongst yourselves.” I slid off the leather-covered barstool and sidestepped Jeremy and George as I threaded my way through the crowd of thirsty, club-going vampires toward the hallway leading to the washrooms. Amy trailed silently behind me.

“Really?” I said after we were out of earshot and away from the loud music. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“But he’s so nice. You haven’t even given him a chance.”

“I’m sure he’s the nicest vampire bachelor in the city. This has nothing to do with him.”

“I wanted to cheer you up. So sue me.” She pouted at her failed attempt to love-match me. “Ever since you and jerk-face broke up you’ve been no fun at all.”