Мишель Роуэн: Fanged & Fabulous

Jogging is great exercise. Running for your life—even better. At least that’s what I tried to tell myself. It was the new jogging suit that did it. I felt allJ. Lo in my fuchsia velour (admittedly a little outdated, but happily purchased for half price) out for a quick, late-afternoon jog. Feeling good in the cold but fresh February air with my newest pair of very dark sunglasses firmly in place. I guess I shouldn’t have smiled at the cute young guy by the hot dog cart outside of my apartment building. Firstly, because, hello? I’mtaken , thank you very much. Secondly, because of the whole “fang” situation. Fangs never seem to go over very well with vampire hunters.

Next thing I know, instead of getting a modest workout—surprisingly enough, a diet of diluted blood is not calorie-free—I was hightailing it through a nearly deserted park with a hunter on my Reebok-clad heels.

I shot a look over my shoulder. “Leave me alone!”

“Stop running, vampire!” he hollered.

I eyed the wooden stake he had in his right hand, and then picked up my pace, darting past a couple of speed walkers who didn’t bother to give us a second glance. Almost an entire month had gone by without seeing a single hunter. Avery good month. Enough for me to let down my guard way too much. Not good.

“I’ll catch you!” the hunter shouted from a few steps behind me. “So why don’t you stop running and save me some time?”

I jumped up as we passed an overhang of evergreens and grabbed at the nearest icicle. Then I stopped abruptly and spun around to face him with the sharp piece of ice clenched in my hand.

He skidded to a halt, almost slamming right into me, and looked at me with confusion. “You stopped.”

“I’m trying to be more proactive these days. Come near me and this—” I indicated my drippy weapon

“—is going through your eyeball.”

My heart was beating so hard and fast I thought it might burst out of my chest like the slimy creature in

Alien . Vampire hearts beat just as hard as human hearts. I never thought they did before I became one.

I used to think that vampires were undead. But they aren’t. They’re just another kind of alive. Heartbeat mandatory to stay that way, otherwise what difference would that famous wooden stake make?

Hunter-boy was actually kind of cute. Probably in his early twenties, with fashionably shaggy dark hair, a thin but attractive face, and brown puppy-dog eyes. He wore a black leather jacket over . . . beige Dockers?

I could totally take him.

“Proactive?” He raised an eyebrow and shifted the stake to his other hand. The frozen air puffed out of his mouth with every breath he took.

I shivered, and it wasn’t just from the temperature. “Yeah, that’s acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty. I looked it up. It means that instead of running like a chicken with my head cut off—pardon the cliche—I will confront my attacker and deal with the situation in a calm yet forceful manner.”

“You’re smart for a vampire,” he said.

I raised my eyebrows at that. “Really?”

“A vampire who’s about to die.”

I tensed and curled my other hand into a fist. I’d been going to self-defense fitness classes with my best friend Amy for a couple of weeks. It was true that only a few hour-long lessons probably weren’t going to earn me any major ass-kicking awards, but I felt a little more confident about my current woman-in-jeopardy situation. Alittle .

Proactive with a capital P. That’s me.

Okay, now I was shiveringand sweating. I take it back. I wasn’t confident. Not in the slightest.

Hunter-boy was going to stake me. Easily.

“What’s your name?” I blurted out.

“Chad.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Is that short for anything?”

“Yeah, it’s short for ‘I’m going to kill you now.’” He frowned. “Why are you still talking?”

He kicked the icicle out of my hand. It hit the ground next to me and shattered. I blinked at it.

I held my shaking hands up in front of me. “Look . . .Chad , just walk away now. Youdo not want to mess with me.” What was I going to do to get out of this alive? To defend myself? I’d go for the groin.

Always a good place to start. And end.

“Let me tell you a little something . . . ” he paused expectantly and raised his eyebrows.

“Sarah,” I offered, without thinking.Stupid .

“The only reason you’re still talking, Sarah, is because I’m allowing it. I might not look it, but I’ve dusted over a dozen vamps, this year alone.”

I swallowed hard and felt a trickle of perspiration run down my spine.

“Well, if you’ve killed that many,” I said, even less confident now if that was possible, “you should know it’s not really dust. It’s more like goo.”

“Whatever.” He looked down at the stake, ran his thumb along the sharp tip, and then glanced over at me. “Now let’s get this party started.”

Hell, he looked fairly harmless what with the Dockers and all. Guess you can’t judge a man by his casual, stain-resistant pants anymore.

I turned and tried to run farther into the park along the snow-covered, cobblestone path, but before I got more than a few steps, I felt his hand clamp down on my shoulder, stopping me in midflee. He spun me around, then shoved me so hard that I stumbled back and fell to the ground in a heap. I scrambled back a few feet on my butt and looked around frantically. We were all alone. Why were we all alone?

Where were innocent bystanders when I needed them?

“I’ll make it quick.”Chad winked at me. “If you stay nice and quiet for me.”

Yeah, like that was going to happen. “Are you aware that you’re the bad guy?”

That stopped him, but his stony expression didn’t change. “What?”

I shuffled back a little more, feeling the cold snow against my bare hands. “Vampire hunters are evil,

homicidal bastards who kill for the fun of it. They’re the bad guys. Vampires are completely harmless.

Like adorable, pointy-toothed bunnies.”

He laughed a little at that and stepped closer. “Yeah, right.”

I held a hand up in front of me to stop him from getting any nearer and slowly and shakily rose to my feet.

Keep him talking, I told myself.

I tried to smile and felt my cheeks twitch nervously. “Let’s talk big picture here,Chad . Do you know what you’d be doing if you murder me?”

“Slay, you mean.”

I shook my head. “Don’t try to make it sound all Hollywood . You’d bemurdering me. Just because you think I’m a monster. But I’m not a monster. I’m just a little dentally different than you.”

He studied me for a moment, his expression growing uncertain. “You drink blood, don’t you?”

I made a face. It sounded so gross. “This is true. But it’s provided by willing donors. There’s kegs of the stuff, hopefully sanitized and homogenized or whatever they do to make it clean and disease-free.”

“You’re an undead creature of the night.” He frowned and jabbed the stake in my general direction.

I looked up and pointed at the sky. “Sun’s still up, isn’t it? And I’m breathing. Heart’s going all pitty-pat.

Seriously, you need to read up a little on the topic. Take some notes.”

Chadsighed heavily. “You’re saying that everything I’ve been told all my life—everything I’ve ever believed—has all been a lie. That I haven’t been doing my job as a protector of mankind by ridding it of bloodsucking monsters, I’ve actually been killing innocent people.”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Bingo!”

He stared at me for a moment and then snorted. “You’re funny. That’s almost enough for me to let you live, but you know what? Not going to happen.”