Мишель Роуэн - Angel with Attitude

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When you’re hot for a demon, you might as well kiss your halo good-bye…
Falling naked into the killer whale tank at MarineLand is always bad news, but it’s a real bummer when you’ve just been kicked out of Heaven. Former angel Valerie Grace is determined to reverse her banishment – Earth’s just no fun.
Her best friend is a slightly perverted human-turned-rat, and she’s being tailed by a sexy Tempter Demon named Nathaniel, who’s trying to lure her to hell with kisses that are almost worth the trip. With the talking rodent sneaking peeks down her shirt and Nathaniel getting more irresistible every minute, this ex-angel has only one hope: find the stolen Key to Heaven and go home.

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She opened her mouth to tell him it didn’t work that way. Not on her level anyhow, to the best of her faulty-memory knowledge, but she decided not to. “Sure, anytime. Thanks for everything, Reggie. You’ve been a great friend.” She nodded and then turned to leave.

“Wait . . . Val?”

“Yeah?”

“I just want you to know . . . Nathaniel’s a damn fool if he doesn’t realize how great you are.”

She kissed her fingertips and tapped him on the top of his furry head. “Take care of each other, guys. I’ll miss you.”

With a last look, she left McDonald’s, slipped back into the limo and met Lisa’s concerned gaze.

“It’s just us now,” Val said.

Lisa nodded grimly.

“Fry?” Becky offered.

“No thanks.”

Seraphina blinked at her from the facing seat. “I know you. You’re the angel.”

“You’re the what?” Becky asked incredulously.

“She’s an angel.”

Becky smiled patiently. “No she’s not. She’s my friend Valerie.”

“Actually, she’s right.” Val rubbed her temples gingerly. “I’m a fallen angel. Just got back from the Underworld where I had to retrieve the Key to Heaven. I had a brief fling with a handsome demon, rescued a fellow fallen angel, and now we have to get back to the motel so

I can take my boss back to Heaven before Hell catches up to us. So let’s get this limo moving, shall we?”

Becky stared at her for a moment, then burst into laughter. “You are such a hoot. We should go out more, maybe clubbing or something. Oh, and by the by, my brother is still talking about how much he wants to go out with you. Come on . . . the two of you would make a beautiful couple. Well, you’d be the beautiful one. He could be the Superman expert. Still, a good match. Did I mention that he drives a black Trans Am?”

Val thought about Becky’s comic book lovin’ brother. He would give her a lot less grief than

Nathaniel had. She had no doubt about that.

She forced a smile. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Or, in other words, Not on your life.

The limo pulled away from the curb and Val stared out of the window as she formulated her plan. Reggie was safe now. She only had Barlow and Lisa to worry about. If all went well they might all be hanging out at the . . . She frowned. She couldn’t remember anywhere she used to hang out in Heaven. What did she do Up There for fun? It wasn’t just a big fluffy cloud like Nathaniel had said. There was form and substance to her existence as an angel. She did things. She knew other angels, like . . . what was his name? The assistant to something-or-other. And they knew her. They were all one big happy family in Heaven.

But she couldn’t remember the specifics. It was gone. And she didn’t have her notebook as a backup anymore.

Didn’t matter, though, she thought. Not much longer and it would all come back to her.

Forever.

“Fallen one,” Seraphina said. “Look at me.”

Val closed her eyes and tried to ignore the brat.

“Be polite,” Becky said sharply. “And don’t call Val that. Finish your apple pie. Use a napkin.

You’re getting the filling all over your Gucci poncho. Do you have any idea how much that costs to dry clean?”

“Fallen one,” Seraphina said again, calmly.

Val opened her eyes to look at the little girl. Her eyes were fully white and she stared at Val with all the creepiness that only a nine-year-old with massive psychic powers could have.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Do you have it?”

She was about to ask what Seraphina was talking about, but had a funny feeling she already knew.

“Yes, I do.”

“There is very little time left. Allow no one to distract you from doing what you feel in your heart is right. No one.”

“Who are you?”

“There is little time—”

“Yeah, you already said that.” Val leaned forward. “Listen, whoever you are, I’ve had one hell of a day. I don’t need any additional pressure, got it?”

Lisa leaned forward. “What if I—”

“Silence,” Seraphina hissed and Lisa promptly shut her mouth. The white eyeballs turned back to Val. “It will only work for a fallen one.”

She sighed. “Old news. Now I don’t know who you are. But I’ve had it up to here with these cryptic messages. None of it helped me, you know. There was no fragments of light falling to the ground or otherwise.”

“That is because it already fell. A very long time ago.”

“Whatever. Also, just so you know, I’m pretty sure that the darkness prefers the darkness. Not that he had much of a choice in the matter. So everything you told me before was all crap. I’m on my very last nerve ending today, so why don’t you leave me alone? The weight of the world is on my shoulders right now and I’m afraid of throwing it all away by mistake.”

The corner of Seraphina’s mouth twitched with amusement. “Excellent. I believe the right choice has already been made.”

Val frowned and she leaned forward to stare at the little girl. It was then that she noticed the light from her eyes wasn’t just white, it was pure and perfect and filled her with a sudden sense of peace and rightness.

“Boss?” she said so softly she could barely hear her own words. “Is that you? Please, tell me what you want me to do!”

Seraphina’s eyes went back to their normal bright blue and she took another bite of her apple pie, completely oblivious to what had just happened. Val glanced at Becky who stared back at her with wide eyes, a fry dangling from her lips.

“What the hell was that?”

“The pain that is my life,” Val told her just as the limo pulled in front of the Paradise Inn next to a police car. Val eyed the cruiser curiously and grabbed Becky to give her a quick hug before she and Lisa got out of the limo. “Thanks for being a friend. I’ll miss you.”

Becky nodded. “Okay then. I’ll give you a call. Maybe we can catch that new Brad Pitt movie next week.”

Val smiled at her. “Yeah, sure.”

Without waiting to watch the limo pull away, she dragged Lisa with her straight to Barlow’s office. A uniformed police officer emerged from the interior of the office. He held up a hand to them as they approached.

“Can I help you two?” he asked.

Val tried to look past him into the darkness of the manager’s office. “Is everything okay? I need to talk to Mr. Barlow. He’s the manager here.”

He nodded. “You must be Valerie Grace?”

“That’s right.” She and Lisa exchanged glances. “How do you know that?”

“You’re mentioned in Mr. Barlow’s papers. We’ve been looking for you.”

She swallowed hard and felt her heart begin to sink. Lisa reached down to grab her hand and squeeze it. “Where is he?”

The officer’s brow lowered for a moment. “I’m sorry to tell you that Mr. Barlow passed away a short time ago. The coroner just took away the body. Looks like natural causes.” He produced a business card. “Here’s where he has been taken. I’m very sorry for your loss.”

Val’s bottom lip trembled. “He can’t be gone. Not yet. I just got back.”

“I’m sorry.” The officer nodded grimly, then headed toward his cruiser.

“Val,” Lisa said. “It’s going to be okay.”

She pushed Lisa out of the way and ran inside the office, past the beaded curtain. Silent.

Empty. Barlow was gone. She had the key but it was too late to help him.

“Sorry,” she said to the empty room, the empty armchair—her heart a heavy, aching thing in her chest. “I’m so sorry. I tried. Really I did.”

Val closed her eyes, and let herself start to sob. What was the point? Of any of it? It was too much. She went through all of that for nothing.

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