Мишель Роуэн - Angel with Attitude

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When you’re hot for a demon, you might as well kiss your halo good-bye…
Falling naked into the killer whale tank at MarineLand is always bad news, but it’s a real bummer when you’ve just been kicked out of Heaven. Former angel Valerie Grace is determined to reverse her banishment – Earth’s just no fun.
Her best friend is a slightly perverted human-turned-rat, and she’s being tailed by a sexy Tempter Demon named Nathaniel, who’s trying to lure her to hell with kisses that are almost worth the trip. With the talking rodent sneaking peeks down her shirt and Nathaniel getting more irresistible every minute, this ex-angel has only one hope: find the stolen Key to Heaven and go home.

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“I don’t remember you putting it quite like that, but yeah, I guess so.”

“He’s doing it right now. Over by the mayor.”

Val looked over just in time to see Nathaniel turn his gaze away. His clothes were still damp from his unplanned swim in the pool. He hadn’t spoken to her since, or come near her.

A band had set up on the other side of the pool and they were playing music that reminded

Val of the Gipsy Kings CD Barlow sometimes played in the manager’s office. Flamenco-sounding, only these performers all looked like short, fleshy green Muppets. Short Muppet monsters that could shake a mean maraca. She kept her eyes on the mansion, through the darkness, waiting for Julian to make another appearance.

The band stopped playing after their most recent song—“She Bangs” by Ricky Martin—and Yasmeen approached the microphone.

“Welcome, dah-links,” she said. There was still that hint of an accent Val couldn’t place in her voice.

Bitchylvania, she thought. Or maybe Bitchachussets. Yeah, that’s it.

She felt like she was dealing with her dislike for Yasmeen quite well. In a seething, unpleasant, eating-away-at-her-insides kind of way. Why didn’t Val like her? Was it because she knew she had carnal knowledge of Nathaniel? But that would be ridiculous and completely petty.

Also, terribly, terribly accurate.

“I know you’re all wondering what our big announcement will be, what the mayor has in store for all of us, don’t you?” Yasmeen breathed into the microphone. She’d slipped a cover-up over her teeny bikini. A see-through cover-up.

Was that an oxymoron? Val wondered.

Speaking of morons, Nathaniel had begun to move closer to where Val was sitting. She didn’t look at him.

“Well,” Yasmeen continued, “you’re going to have to wait just a bit longer for the big announcement. But it won’t be long now.”

Julian seemed to appear from nowhere to join Yasmeen on the stage. Val sat up in her chair as he grabbed the microphone.

“Yes,” Julian said to the crowd. “It will be well worth the wait, I promise. In the meantime, Mayor Vaille wishes you all to enjoy the party. And I just wanted to say, doesn’t the mayor look fantastic tonight? Your personal trainer is doing wonders for you, great one.”

The entire crowd of gathered demons glanced over at the slug for a silent moment. Then everyone cheered.

“Thank you, my boy,” the mayor said. “Sven does have a way with free weights. He’s a big brute with the cardio, though.”

Julian smiled. “It’s paying off. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an important matter to attend to inside.” He stepped down from the stage and began to move toward the mansion. Yasmeen went to sit by the mayor’s side and the band started up again.

Val couldn’t tear her gaze away from the blond demon. “I have to go after him.” She stood up from her seat but Nathaniel caught her wrist. “There’s not much time left.”

“Please don’t. It’s dangerous.”

She tried to pull away. “I need to get that key.”

“Julian is evil.”

“Yeah, I already figured that out all by myself. But there’s no other way.”

“I’ll go with you.”

She shook her head. “No. He doesn’t like you.”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“That’s just it. If I can get him alone . . ” She didn’t really know how to finish that sentence.

Nathaniel’s eyes narrowed and his grip on her wrist increased. “Not a good idea.”

Julian was almost at the mansion. She had to keep him in sight so he couldn’t disappear on her again.

She met his gaze and forced herself to sound commanding. “Let go of me. Right now.”

He did, but didn’t look happy about it. Yasmeen approached them at that moment, and while

Nathaniel’s head turned to her latest accented proposition, Val slipped away and hurried toward the mansion, trying to move quickly and quietly past the pool and along the cobblestone pathway.

Julian had stopped to talk with an eight-foot-tall creature covered in blue fur, so Val hung back for a moment and tried her best to look calm. His ice-blond head didn’t turn in her direction. She didn’t want him to notice her until they were somewhere private. He slipped inside the mansion and she followed.

He again stopped to talk, this time with a big guy with faery wings and a leather jacket with the word SECURITY in silver studs on the back.

“What?” Julian exclaimed after the faery said something in his ear. “Impossible. How did she get past security?”

The faery shrugged and had the decency to look embarrassed.

“What’s going on?” Reggie whispered.

Val jumped and clutched her chest. “You surprised me. Shhh. I forgot you were there for a moment. You’re so quiet.”

“Oh, look. They’ve got Lisa!”

Val’s gaze moved to another leather-jacketed faery who held the girl who’d attacked

Nathaniel outside of Lloyd’s house in his grip. She looked absolutely terrified, but her chin was lifted in defiance.

Val’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”

“How did you get in here?” Julian leaned over to look at her closely.

“Forgot my invitation. Just wanted to have a look around.” Lisa’s voice was strong, but shaky.

“See what all the buzz is about.”

Julian laughed. “Right. Well, what’s done is done. This is good, in a way. We could use a little more entertainment tonight. The mayor so enjoys a good sacrifice.”

The girl cringed as Julian clipped her gently under the chin. “Don’t look so upset. It’s an honor to be sacrificed to Mayor Vaille. Entire ancient cultures used to do it on a daily basis.

He misses that, I think.” He nodded to the faeries. “Tie her up somewhere safe for the time being.”

They nodded and dragged Lisa away in the opposite direction. Julian continued down his hallway.

Val began to follow the faeries.

“What exactly are you doing, Val?” Reggie whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“Aren’t we after Julian?”

“Yes, but . . .” She swallowed and stopped walking for a moment. “I can’t let them hurt her.”

“But—”

“Shh. Just be quiet for a minute, would you?” Her brain hurt. She could do both. She’d help

Lisa and then get back to Julian before it was too late.

Lisa had looked so small and defeated. Not like the butt-kicking girl she met in front of

Lloyd’s house.

“I don’t mean to be the voice of reason here,” Reggie’s small voice whispered. “Because that’s so not me. And I like Lisa a lot, but do you think it’s the first time they’ve done something like this? Or the last time?”

The hair on Val’s arms stood up at the horrible thought. “I’m not here other days, or I’d try to do something then, too.”

“It’s because she’s a fallen angel, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, you do. It might be at a subconscious level, but you know exactly what I mean. You want to rescue this ex-fallen angel who got tempted and taken to Hell because you look at her and see you.”

She stopped walking for a second and turned her head to see Reggie’s whiskers twitch. “I what?”

“You think what’s happening to her could very well be happening to you. So by helping her in a way you’re actually helping yourself. Does that make sense?”

Val frowned and began walking again. “Not even remotely.”

She felt Reggie shift position on her shoulder. “Well, I kind of confused myself somewhere along my line of thinking. But this is still a bad idea.”

“Maybe I should just leave you right here in case Yasmeen’s pet is looking for a snack later.”

“You wouldn’t let that happen to me, would you?”

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