Мишель Роуэн - Angel with Attitude

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When you’re hot for a demon, you might as well kiss your halo good-bye…
Falling naked into the killer whale tank at MarineLand is always bad news, but it’s a real bummer when you’ve just been kicked out of Heaven. Former angel Valerie Grace is determined to reverse her banishment – Earth’s just no fun.
Her best friend is a slightly perverted human-turned-rat, and she’s being tailed by a sexy Tempter Demon named Nathaniel, who’s trying to lure her to hell with kisses that are almost worth the trip. With the talking rodent sneaking peeks down her shirt and Nathaniel getting more irresistible every minute, this ex-angel has only one hope: find the stolen Key to Heaven and go home.

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“Finally,” Reggie said. “A plus to being a rat.”

Nathaniel eyed the rodent, then looked at Val. “We don’t have to take the bus.”

“Then how do we get there? Walk?”

“Didn’t they teach you anything in Heaven?” He sighed. “I said before that the Underworld is just below the surface of this dimension. All I need to do is open a doorway.”

Val waited, but he didn’t make any move to do so. “So go ahead and open a doorway.”

“Patience, Valerie. Perhaps that’s why they threw you so unceremoniously out of Heaven in the first place, don’t you think? Patience is one of the seven virtues, after all.”

“Nope,” Reggie piped up. “She got kicked out for pride. And I’m not talking about the colorful parade.”

She pinched his tail, which was met with a high-pitched squeak of pain. “Open the doorway, now. That was a command.”

Nathaniel’s breathing became labored as he stared at her, the amusement leaving his expression as flames filled his eyes. He was trying to fight her control over him, but it was a losing battle.

“Pride,” he said after a moment. “I’ll have to add that piece of info to your file.”

“You do that. Now the doorway?”

“Very well.” He turned and surveyed the room. “This will do, I suppose.”

He was looking at Claire’s massive bookcase, studying the shelves for a moment, then took a step back. Val saw his broad shoulders raise up as he took a deep breath. His hands moved at his sides, palms up, muscles tense, shaking with the effort of whatever he was doing.

She felt the warm air again, but this time it was different. It wasn’t swirling, it wasn’t going straight up. It was moving toward the bookcase, toward Nathaniel himself.

A pinprick of light appeared on the spine of one of the books. The light grew in size and intensity until it became a moving blue vortex. It narrowed and lengthened, and finally was as tall as Nathaniel was, and slightly wider. Val then watched his shoulders relax, his breathing slow down to normal. He turned to look at her, and she could see a thin film of perspiration on his forehead. He looked weary and, strangely, very human. Opening interdimensional doorways must have been very hard work, she thought.

He turned to the side so she had a full view of the dimensional doorway—a large white light with swirling blue edges. She couldn’t see anything on the other side that would give her a clue where it led, which meant she had to trust Nathaniel. Trust that Claire was right about his inability to lie to her. Trust that this wasn’t a one-way ticket to down below. The head office.

Hell. Whatever.

He grinned wearily and gestured toward the light. “Ladies first.”

Val hesitated, but only for a moment. She took a deep breath and placed Reggie firmly back on her shoulder. He entangled a paw into her already tangled hair so he’d have something to hang on to.

She was going to get the key back.

She was going to help send Barlow back to Heaven. Then she was going to do the same for herself and all of this would simply become an unpleasant memory. It would all be worth it in the end.

Another deep breath and she forced herself to walk toward the light, stopping when she got to Nathaniel. She reached out to him.

“Hold my hand?”

He frowned, hesitated, but finally took her hand in his.

They walked through the doorway. The light filled Val’s vision until she could see nothing else. Claire left them with a last call of, “Sesame seed bun!”

Val hoped that was a good omen.

Chapter Ten

WELCOME TO THE UNDERWORLD.

That’s what the sign said. It was the first thing Val saw as she stepped through the portal and her eyes adjusted to the bright blue sky.

Blue sky?

“This is so weird,” Reggie said, voicing her thoughts. “I was expecting, I don’t know, gloom and doom. Maybe drippy, slimy rock. This is not gloomy or drippy.”

This Underworld bore a striking resemblance to Miami Beach. At least the one Val had seen the other day on an afternoon rerun marathon of Miami Vice.

She turned around to look at the portal, but it had shrunk and disappeared immediately. They were standing in the middle of a paved street and had to step quickly onto the sidewalk when a car whizzed by. It looked exactly like a red Porsche.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” she asked Nathaniel who’d stepped away from her by a good ten feet and lit up a cigarette.

He pointed at the sign. “What do you think?”

She frowned. “I can read. But I just don’t believe it. Maybe the palm trees threw me a bit.

And the bright shining sun in the sky. And the beach over there.”

“If you like, I can return us to where we came from. Just say the word.” He smiled, but it looked forced. “Perhaps somewhere a little more . . . private?”

“No. We’re staying. It’s just . . . what’s the word I’m looking for here?”

“It’s wacky?” Reggie suggested. “Kooky? Bizarre? Not the normal way of things?”

“Any of those would do nicely.”

“Is that actually an ocean?” Reggie raised a paw to point.

Val looked. Past a row of colorful buildings she could see a sliver of shining blue water. And lots and lots of tall palm trees. There were a few multicolored umbrellas on the beach for the gathered sunbathers. And was that a . . . a hotdog cart?

“Definitely wacky.”

“Kate Beckinsale would fit in great in this Underworld,” Reggie said. “I’m thinking black bikini, Gucci sunglasses . . . me and a bottle of tanning lotion—”

“Enough already.”

“They should change the name, though. It’s more like Sunnyworld. Or Tanline-land. Yeah, that works.”

“I’m glad somebody’s having a good time so far.”

Nathaniel flicked his half-smoked cigarette against a nearby parked car. “Valerie, this is pointless. You need to release me from this ridiculous spell. Do so and I will help you find

Julian of my own free will. You know I’d do anything to help you out.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m quite serious,” he approached her and ran a warm hand down her back, she turned to look into his gray-blue eyes and immediately felt pleasantly woozy. He smiled. “Then we can discuss what’s really important.”

“Oh,” she said, but it came out a little breathy. “And what’s that?”

He stroked the blond hair off her face. “You and me.”

She put a hand against his chest to push him away but she felt like she couldn’t move.

Suddenly it was just the two of them, the only ones in the universe, and all she wanted to do was—

“Um, Val?” Reggie said into her ear. “What are you doing?”

She pulled her hand away from the demon as if she’d been burned. Then scowled deeply.

“Don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” Reggie said. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, not you.” She turned to Nathaniel and jabbed a finger at him. “You.”

He shrugged while looking amused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Honestly. What you are, what you do makes me physically sick.”

“You didn’t seem so sick a moment ago.”

“Aren’t you ashamed?”

His smile fell. “Of what?”

“Of what you do. It’s disgusting. Nothing you say or do will work on me. As soon as I get what I’m after then I’ll release you from this spell. Not a moment sooner. So you’d do best to focus on that goal instead of trying to lie to me because it won’t work. I know what you are and I won’t be taken in. I’ll never give you what you want.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Yes, I guess we will. Honestly, I can’t believe you’ve ever been successful at this before.

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