Elmore Leonard - Raylan

“Shooting people.”

“Sneaks up on ’em, like he done me, and gets the drop. See, this time I’m puttin on the show. I know my moves leading to shootin the motherfucker in the head. I tip my hat to the crowd and walk out the saloon.”

“And then you go to South America or someplace.”

“I been thinkin of Haiwaiya.”

“Delroy, Crazy Night at the Two Keys, some of the students go a little nuts and wear nutty outfits. Or sorority girls come as hula dancers. One time I heard, Playboy bunnies.”

“I’m gonna wear my hat.”

“Throw the fucking hat away. You have to wear something so he won’t know you.”

“You see me dressin like a bunny?”

“That’s not bad,” Kenneth said, a fingertip touching his lips. “Not a bunny, but some kind of… awfully tall broad in a dazzling frock. Or… I don’t know, something else.”

“Man, tall chicks rub up to me all the time. Know I’m lookin for one don’t get lost in my embrace.”

“I see you as statuesque, a fucking knockout from La Cage aux Folles, a tall, bawdy bimbo.”

“You see me wearin a dress?”

“A frock of some kind.”

“What do I do for tits?”

“Come on over while I’m thinking about it.”

He realized he may have to shave Delroy’s entire body, but decided not to mention it.

“I’m trying to think of what we have here at the Cooz besides G-strings. I’ll look around. Delroy? I’ll get Bobby over to do the makeup. All the black drag queens love him. Bobby’ll give you smoky eyes with long lashes you can flutter at Raylan.”

“What do I do for tits?”

“If Bobby want you to show cleavage you’ll have it.”

“I was thinkin,” Delroy said, “I could be a Arab. Cover myself with a sheet.”

“No, you want the exotic RuPaul look.”

Delroy said, “Kennet, where do I keep my piece?”

It was always something with the big boy.

“That’s right,” Kenneth said, “you’ll need your gun, won’t you?”

T wo and a half hours later, from the time Bobby arrived with his suitcase of makeup and armloads of dresses he’d borrowed from friends-“Costumes, really, from two of the most popular drag queens in town,” Bobby said-to Delroy looking at himself in the full-length mirror in Kenneth’s bedroom, both Bobby and Kenneth waiting for Delroy’s reaction.

“He’s still awfully tall for a girl,” Kenneth said, “but he looks delicious. I love the rich pouty lips with the lighter skin tone, the eyelashes… Delroy, bat your eyes for us. Give us a flutter.”

Bobby said in a murmur, “He doesn’t know what you mean.”

Delroy was staring at his long, slim figure in the mirror, turning his head from side to side appraising himself.

Bobby, his hand over his mouth this time, said to Kenneth, “He hasn’t said a word. You know he does have quite a sexy figure. I was afraid he might be all angles.”

“I’m wondering,” Kenneth said, “if a simpler dress without the distracting sequins might work better. It’s awfully busy. But, I have to say, I love it. Delroy in the sky with diamonds.”

“It’s short,” Bobby said, “but his knees aren’t bad, are they? You like the earrings? I love the way they swing when he turns his head. The pumps, I’m sorry to say, are the largest size of sling-backs I could find.”

“His feet do look like they might burst out,” Kenneth said, “but I don’t know what else we can do. He can’t wear his own shoes, and his sandals are much too gauche with the frock. But who’s looking at his feet? Delroy, what do you think?”

“I look like a homasexual.”

“You’re a cross-dresser,” Kenneth said. “You don’t have to be gay to like wearing women’s clothes. It shows a certain flair. You don’t march with the common man.”

“You think I look all right, huh? Not too way-out?”

“You’re dazzling.”

“But where do I put my piece?”

A t half past nine they were in the Chevy on their way to Two Keys on South Limestone and talking about Delroy Lewis, Raylan thinking he shouldn’t of brought him up. Now Jackie was into it, asking about him, now as far along as:

“You think he’ll pick a spot and be lying in wait?”

“He could walk up behind me in a street fulla people, press his gun in my back. Or he finds out I live upstairs over a saloon.”

“How would he?”

“I’m big as life at the Two Keys, administering the law for my board. A snitch can live off stuff he finds out about and sells it.”

“I think you’d like what’s his name, Delroy, to find you.”

“It might be the only way to have it done. Tryin to look at all the faces in a crowd wears you out.”

“We don’t have to go to the Two Keys,” Jackie said. “Harry got me a suite at the Hilton I still haven’t used. We could stay there for a while, order room service on Harry, a bottle of champagne to celebrate.”

“Champagne,” Raylan said, “can give you a headache.”

“You don’t have to drink the whole bottle.”

“You don’t?”

“Everything in moderation.”

“And you won’t ever get in trouble?”

“I think if I were a guy,” Jackie said, “I’d be a lot like you.”

“I bet you’re like Reno.”

“Cause I gamble? I’m only somewhat like Reno. I’m smarter than he is, but he knows more about people. You know who I try to be like? Me, on a good day. I’m nice because I’m winning pots.”

“One with a million in it. You should be the happiest girl in town.”

“I don’t stop to think, Am I happy? I am most of the time, I guess. But it comes and goes.”

“But you like being up. I can tell you how tell youto maintain that high.”

“Yeah…?”

“Become a U.S. marshal.”

“You’re serious?”

“I don’t know, I may be.”

“To me,” Jackie said, “to win a mil tells me I can do it. I knew I could beat what’s his name, Moody, almost right away.”

Raylan said, “I noticed you had your checkbook out. What if you had to write one to stay in? You didn’t, cause the Dude, with five maybe six Maker’s Marks in him, tells himself you’re a girl…”

“ Only a girl. But a nice one.”

“You didn’t have to write a check for seventy grand.”

“I would’ve if he made me. I knew I had him beat from the moment I saw my ace in the hole.”

“You had good cards.”

“I had great cards. When do three aces lose?”

Raylan said, “But not till an ace came bobbin up in the river.” Both smiling because they felt like it with each other.

Jackie said, “I might as well tell you now, because I know I will later. I’ve got a serious crush on you. I’m excited by how cool you are. You carry a gun and’ve used it.”

“Yes, I have.”

“But you don’t jog every morning or do anything you don’t like, and you’re not married.”

He said, “What if I was?”

“I don’t know. I’d still want to go to bed with you.”

“So when we start thrashin around under the covers, I’m not makin you do it.”

“Well, you are,” Jackie said. “We could even take a shower together, first.”

Raylan said, “Before my heart starts racing and we bang into somebody’s rear end-”

She said, “You want, “You to stop at the Two Keys.”

“For a minute. Stick my head in.”

“You think he’s there.”

“I’m right half the time when I get the feeling. Wait in the car, all right? I don’t want to take a chance losin you before we get to the hotel.”

Was she laughing or what saying, “Tell me you can’t wait either.”

“I’ll swear to it,” Raylan said, pulling up in front of the Two Keys. He’d already thought of kissing her here in the car, but it might be something he’d think about later as a bad sign, so he didn’t kiss Jackie. He left the motor running, said, “I won’t be five minutes” as he got out.