Elmore Leonard - Raylan

Boyd said, “Jesus Christ.”

Ms. Culpepper said, “My Lord and Savior.”

“You surprised me’s all.”

“I’m gonna scare her good. Thinks I’m about to shoot her, but they’s no shells come with the gun. Was Otis’s, a state trooper give me. I asked him, ‘Say I want to go out and shoot a turkey for supper?’ He says no, he can’t bring me no shells since I’m stayin in this home. He believes it’s against the law.”

“What you need shells for?”

“Shoot the company woman, she comes in tomorrow.”

“Whoa,” Boyd said. “You can shoot that gun?” face="T(T1 said. “Near good as Otis.”

Boyd took his time before asking, “How many loads you think you’d need?”

“Jes one,” Ms. Culpepper said. “It’ll put her down. Maybe one more if I need it.”

Liz Burgoyne came in the sun parlor from the patio to see Jackie Nevada waiting, getting up from the sofa, and it made Liz think of Raylan, the time she walked in and he asked her about Cuba stealing kidneys. Liz crossed the room in jeans and cowboy boots offering her hand, saying:

“Jackie Nevada. Harry’s told me about his poker-playing buddy. He makes you sound like a little girl, but you’re quite something else, aren’t you?” Liz smiling now. “Harry mentioned you’re wanted by the police?”

“It’s a misdemeanor thing,” Jackie said. “I didn’t show up for a hearing.”

“Picked up in a raid,” Liz said. “Harry told me about it. He said you like Manhattans, is that right?”

Jackie said, “If that’s what we’re having.”

T hey were both on the sofa now, the nearly empty pitcher on the cocktail table, both smoking cigarettes.

“You ever cheat?” Liz said.

“Why do only women ask that? You mean at poker.”

“Or on a guy.”

“Poker, I’ve never had to.”

“You’re that good?”

“You have to work with another player. Didn’t you see Rounders? They cheat playing with a bunch of cops. I’ve never cheated on a boyfriend either. Right now I don’t have one, but I live with seven guys. You know what they think is funny? Farting.”

“Why do guys love to fart?”

“They’re expressing themselves.”

“You hop in the sack with any of them?”

“Nope. There’s some fooling around, girls come for a party and we get high, but I don’t recall anything really inappropriate. You might hear a girl tell some guy to quit grabbin her ass. We have great parties.”

Liz said, “You like to go down on guys?”

“Not guys, no. But I have polished the occasional knob.”

“Wow,” Liz said. “You’re not bashful, are you?”

“You know what I’m talking about or wouldn’t of asked.”

“You have to meet some of my friends from olden times, they’d love you.”

“I’m not a lay,” Jackie said. “I’ve only gone to bed with three guys in four years, ones I thought I was serious about.”

“What happened to them?”

“They graduated.”

Liz poured the rest of the Manhattans.

“You like to do it standing up?”

“I never have,” Jackie said. “In movies they look like they’re ringing the bell, but I think it would be uncomfortable.”

Liz said, “I bet I know the movie you’re thinking of. The girl walks in the bar-”

“That’s the one.”

“She can’t get any attention and yells out, ‘Who’s a girl gotta suck around here to get a drink?’ ”

“She gets into the cute guy’s pants, in the booth.”

“Then you see them in back doing it standing up.”

“You ever do it with a black guy?”

“No, and I’m not racist,” Jackie said. “Or maybe I am and don’t know it. I’ve never had any chills and thrills yet when I meet black guys at parties. I know you have.”

“Our driver at the time,” Liz said. “Harry thought was from West Africa, so Cuba always had to put on an accent, one he picked up from cabdrivers.” She said, “I can’t imagine Harry trying anything with you.”

“Why?” Jackie said.

“He’s too old. He might ask you to strip, promise he’ll just look.”

“Would that upset you?”

“Not in the least, if he can pull it off.”

“He sure goes to the bathroom a lot.”

“His tired kidneys,” Liz said. “And here’s your boyfriend now.”

Harry came in from the hallway telling Jackie, “I got three guys so far want to play you: my friends the breeders, Ike and Mike, and a World Series of Poker pro they dug up called Dude Moody.”

Jackie was nodding.

“He’s been at the final table. I think he won a couple of bracelets. They call him Moody Blues or just Blues.”

“I said to Ike and Mike, ‘For Christ sake, what do you guys need help for?’ And there’s a guy in town I asked to stop by. You met him, Liz, Raylan Givens? The marshal lookin for that driver we had. He called, I asked him to come by for a drink and say hello.”

Jackie said, “Harry, don’t tell him I play poker, okay?”

J ackie watched Raylan take off his hat shaking hands with Harry and they stood talking for a few minutes. Now they were coming over to the sofa, Raylan saying, “Don’t get up, ladies, you look comfortable.”

“We have had a couple,” Liz said. “Raylan, it’s so good to see you. It seems to me that you and I sat here having martinis one time. Harry, where were you?”

“Tendin business. I believe I was helpin a foal come into the world. She’s still lookin like a possible.”

Jackie saw Raylan stare at her for a moment and turn to Liz again, Liz saying, “This time my guest said she might try a Manhattan. They seemed to’ve worked just fine.” Jackie wondering how she’d be introduced. These people got in conversations and forgot she was there.

Not Raylan.

Harry said, “Liz makes it sound like she’s never had a Manhattan.”

Jackie watched Raylan smile, being polite, watched his eyes come back to her. She said through her buzz, “Hi, I’m JaHi, Ickie.”

Raylan came over to shake hands telling her not to get up, but she did and stood with her feet planted.

“Harry’s latest partner,” Liz said.

Raylan gave her hand a nice squeeze and said, “Is that right?”

Jackie told herself she’d get out of this or she wouldn’t, and said, “Harry’s my banker, he stakes me to poker games, but doesn’t pay too much attention.” Smiling then to show she was being funny. “He has no idea how we’re doing.”

No one laughed. Liz said, “If you’ve been playing no-limit for the past week, you’re winning, or Harry would’ve left you off somewhere.”

Harry said, “You make me sound heartless.”

“I’ll bet,” Liz said, “she’s up at least a hundred grand.”

Raylan said, “You play poker as an occupation?”

She said, “I’m not sure. I’m looking at it.”

“You were in a game,” Raylan said, “in Indianapolis recently that was raided, weren’t you?”

Jackie said, “You know how much I lost?”

Harry said, “You never want to be in a game when the cops bust in. They take all the cash and chips as evidence. What happens to the dough after that?” Harry said to Raylan. “Maybe you can tell me.”

“Isn’t part of my job,” Raylan said.

“I’m always careful,” Harry said, “pickin games for Jackie. What I do is call the chief of police, tell him who I am, and say I want to play some poker without gettin in the way of a raid. I ask him if there’s a police fund-raiser I could help out.”

Liz asked Raylan if he had time for a drink. He said, glancing at his watch, he’d better get back. “We’re tryin to locate a guy wants to shoot me on sight.”

Liz said, “I’d think you’d have them lining up.”