Lindsey Davis - Saturnalia

'I do,' said Julia. It sounded historic, but the last time this classic political ploy had been used, the full trick with a Vestal Virgin to the fore, had been as recently as the civil war that brought Vespasian to power.

Now Julia showed why she had hesitated earlier. She turned to her daughter-in-law. 'My dear Claudia Rufina, this is a lot to ask, I know. To be effective, the Vestal Virgin felt that the deputation really needs you to be a part of it with us. Veleda once saved the lives of both Marcus and Quintus, so both their wives should be seen to plead to save her.'

I was glad I did not have to suggest that.

Claudia took it well. That is, she refrained from hurling furniture. Her tone was acidic: 'My husband wants to leave me for this flagrant enemy of Rome-and I am to make such a selfless gesture?'

'That would be the point.' Julia managed to sound diffident. 'The sacrifice would be too cruel!'

'Then don't do it,' replied Julia briskly. 'I told the Vestal you could not be expected to. Marcus, we shall see you tonight, I hope?'

I said she would, and on cue began to take my leave. When Julia rose and kissed my cheek (a formality that always chilled me) I could see Claudia behind her, biting her lip as she reviewed her dilemma. I went over and kissed her too, bending down as she remained seated. 'Veleda will never be a free woman. Just think about saving your marriage. You could demonstrate to Quintus that you trust him, while showing your own generosity of spirit. Seems to me, it would put him in a position where his love and respect for you would then take precedence-'

Claudia jumped up, nearly knocking me over. 'And would that work with you?-Marcus Didius Falco, I don't think so!'

I grinned. 'Oh I'm an informer. I'm famous for hating upright women. You're quite right-do as Julia says, lady. Tell them just where they can put their great idea! That could work too; Quintus did marry you because you were adventurous and forthright.'

'He wanted my money.' That was the first time I had ever heard

Claudia say it. She sounded wounded, wan and defeated.

'He wanted the package,' I told her. 'The money was good, but the woman was better.'

Claudia was not having it. She drew herself up; she was at least my height. Then she stalked from the room. Her despondency suggested she was off to pack her bags and leave for Baetica with her young child immediately.

I made a conciliatory gesture. Julia Justa stilled me with an oddly casual little shrug, as if Claudia was better left to reach her own decisions. I thought Julia was wrong, but I told myself my mother-in-law was a wise woman. Besides, there would be other chances to plead with the young woman. We still had to get through a Satumalia feast tonight.

'Anacrites is back!' Had it not been so serious, Helena would have been giggling. 'He didn't go to Nemi. He rode about seven miles then he decided you had sent him on a fool's errand. He came here to search the house.'

I gulped. 'Where's Veleda?'

'Now,' said Helena, 'she is sleeping on a couch. At the time, she had gone out in the chair with Albia and Zosime to take some air in Caesar's Gardens.'

'How come? I gave strict orders she was to stay in at all times.' 'Don't be pompous. If I took any notice of your orders,' Helena told me, 'you would have lost her to Anacrites.'

'The stricter my orders are, the quicker you defy me.'

'That's right, darling. Do you want me to describe how enraged the Spy was when he went all over our property and could not find her? He had been so sure! I just stood in the hall with my arms folded and waited for his men to finish. That should have told him I was not afraid of discovery. The longer it lasted, the more he was sweating as his mistake dawned on him. All the soldiers stood to attention, with disapproval painted all over them. Julia and Favonia clung to me and cried their eyes out. We made a wonderful picture of an outraged matron and her children, offered grave offence in her own home, where she should be safe from insult-moreover, while the father of the family was absent. I asked Anacrites icily whether he had obtained your permission to enter and search our house. I swear he blushed. When he left, his apology was so sickly I could hardly bear it.'

I had calmed down. There was no way I would ever make Helena Justina a submissive partner who followed my rules. She knew how to handle a crisis. I myself would have tied Anacrites to the filthy underside of a manhole cover and left him to hang there in the dark with rat-bait in his boots. This way, he had put himself in the wrong, he must be scared that Helena or her father would complain to the Emperor-and he had failed to find the priestess even though he guessed I had her.

Helena continued, still enjoying her narration: 'After he apologised, I asked him about his headaches, implying I hoped they were unbearable. He's going to that man Cleander, for some treatment. Marcus, you'll be glad to hear it involves putting cups on him, with lighted herbs against his skin, and what sounds like quite a lot of blood-letting. '

I said it was time to get dressed for dinner. Helena told me it was too soon yet. I let her know that I was planning on getting undressed first, and staying undressed for quite some time.

Later, in a private part of the house, at an inappropriate moment:

'There's another thing, Marcus-we had a busy morning. Petronius popped in to discuss the flute-player. Scythax seems confused, and has left him a message, showing that he thinks he was brought in because the boy was killed on the streets like the vagrants. Petro said he has to speak to Scythax and straighten this out. He will talk to you about it when he can.'

'Damn Petro. And damn talking…'

Some time afterwards:

'Sweetheart, I ought to tell you… Your mother wants to organise a formal deputation to Vespasian, headed up by her old Vestal Virgin, when you go to beg for clemency for Veleda.'

Silence.

Suddenly, one party sitting up abruptly:

'Oh Juno and Minerva, you are not serious. I don't have to plead for the priestess with my mother there?'

'The crabby Virgin too, dear one. Plus, if they can force her to be so magnanimous, poor Claudia Rufina…'

Startled party collapses and hides her head under the pillow. Other party lies prone, recovering, and thinking about the frightening power of mothers…

'Claudia might just do it, Marcus. She really needs to win Quintus back. I haven't told you yet why the sanctuary priests at Nemi were so unpleasant to us. We were pretending to seek fertility treatment but we were unmasked when they detected that Claudia was already pregnant. '

I choked. 'So the authorities at Nemi would say the treatment works!'

'It's ironic, because she was hoping to avoid this. Everyone wondered why she wouldn't try to wean little Gaius. Poor Claudia had been told she would be safe, so long as she kept breast-feeding.'

'Your sweet-looking brother doesn't mess about. Their first is not yet a year old.'

Slight embarrassed pause.

'And Marcus darling, there is something I should tell you Olympus! What was this about? 'I know it is not what we planned-' Any fool could work this one out. 'You mean, the priests were upset because neither of you needed the expensive ritual baths and the votive-sellers? You are both expecting?'

'Yes. Me too, sweetheart.'

I kissed Helena ruefully. 'Life is getting expensive. If your deputation to the Emperor fails, I'll have to drag Veleda to the Capitol and strangle her myself We'll definitely need the mission fee.'

Pause.

'So are you pleased then, Marcus?'

We already had two children. Like every father who knows what a pregnancy means in short-term and long-term trouble, I had learned from practice how to lie well. 'Helena Justina, you do me an honour. I am delighted, of course.'